She will never know how I really feel about her. To her I'm the best friend. I'm the one person she comes to when everything has gone to hell. I'm the one she can talk to about certain things that she can't even say to anyone else that's in her life. I'm the brother type best friend to her. I don't want to be that. I want to be more then just that. But I know it will never happen. I'll never be anything more. She's already fallen for somebody else. Somebody who isn't even the same species as her and I. That is, sometimes, hard to believe.

I sometimes sit and wonder if I would have told her how I feel if things would be different between the two of us. Would she have felt the same way about me? Would her knowing my true feelings make our friendship go straight to hell? There are so many possibilities and I'll never know which one would have happened.

I hate seeing them together or even knowing when they are together. Every time I do all these thoughts and images start going through my mind. When all of that starts I end up feeling like I should kick my self for never getting the courage to sit her down and tell her my true feelings towards her. It could all be different right now if I did do that. But they are what they are right now.

I could always sit her down right now and tell her everything that I want her to know. Then again me spilling my guts to my best friend could be suicidal. It would change everything that we have right now. Would it really be worth it? But what if she really does feel the same way and she's only with him because she's thinking the same things that I am. Friendship and nothing more.

Maybe I should just forget her and find somebody else. I've heard this saying that 'There's someone out there for everyone.' I just wonder if it's true. Maybe it is true. If it is true then that would mean that there could be somebody out there and not somebody who's already in my life. If that is the case then I'd rather stick with that idea because having her as my best friend is better then not having her at all.