Okaaay, so I know I should be working on my other stories right now, but I saw an awesome Goku/Vegeta video on YouTube with a song called "My Sacrifice" by Creed, and...well... a one-shot fic was born! ;D It's not a songfic, but it does have one karaoke moment. (and yes, it's the same song! Fits them soo well in my opinion!)
Part angst, part fluff.
It's about the love between two MEN, so if you don't like, don't read!
Um... It's tame, but just in case, I gave it a M rating.
...Reviews make my world go round, so please let me know what ya think! I always seek to improve ;D Thank'ye muchly!
It was just another party at Bulma's.
At least, that was what it seemed like at first.
But before the night was over, Goku's world had spun... several times.
Everyone Goku knew was there, plus plenty more. Yamcha, Master Roshi and Krillin were playing a game of poker in a corner of the large room. Tien and Piccolo were deep in conversation in another corner, and Goku's sharp ears picked up a few words regarding meditation techniques. Bulma was surrounded by her glamorous friends, laughing and drinking champagne. Videl, Gohan and Chichi were discussing the best way to make pheasant in rose petal sauce- Well, it was Chichi who was talking; Videl and Gohan simply listened with befuddled looks on their faces.
Goku grinned, knowing his wife tended to be overbearing. And then his gaze turned inward, as he thought of their time together since Buu had been vanquished. His grin faded, and he looked around once more, desperate to find something or someone to distract himself with.
Many other men and women were lounging about on couches or dancing casually in front of a small stage, where people could sing karaoke if they chose to. It had been Trunks' and Gotens' suggestion. He wondered if anyone he knew would sing.
And then his gaze fell upon a new arrival, and his breath caught in his throat. Clad in tightly-fitting dark jeans and a dark grey tee that showed off his perfect body, Vegeta looked... Amazing. That was the only word Goku could think of to describe it. Momentarily dazed, Goku stumbled and fell.
"Goku! You drunk, buddy?" A deep laugh rang through the room, and a few people looked his way.
It was Yamcha, of course. Goku stood up, putting a hand behind his head in his typical fashion.
"Heh. Maybe a little..." He lied with a nervous grin, letting out the breath he hadn't known he'd been holding. He was buzzed, but a long ways from being drunk. Saiyans had to drink nearly five times as much as humans to feel the same effects.
Yamcha laughed again from the poker table. "Take it easy! We don't want a drunken full-blooded Saiyan on our hands, now do we?!"
"Yeah, imagine the damage." Krillin added in mock-horror. "Remember last time?"
Goku grinned fully at them. "Yep!" True, he'd accidentally started a spar with Vegeta- in the middle of the room. All the tables and several walls fell before they took it outside. Of course, Bulma was able to pay for it, no problem, but still... he didn't relish the idea of ruining more of her mansion!
He turned to glance at Vegeta, who was looking at him with some amusement, clearly remembering the same thing. He waved, and Vegeta nodded at him and walked over to him.
Goku almost stopped breathing again as he watched his prince saunter over, his outfit hugging his body in all the right places. Goku's gi began to tighten, and he forced himself not to look down and draw attention to it. Shit! He mentally cursed; a rare occurrence for him. His mind raced as Vegeta stopped directly in front of him.
"Drunk, are you, Kakarrot?" Vegeta's customary smirk was in place, though his hands were down at his sides for once, a sign that he felt comfortable around Goku.
"Heh!" Nervous laughter. "Not really." Their eyes bored into each other, and twin smirks appeared on each face.
Goku felt a thrill of happiness run through him, something he was feeling more and more around the smaller saiyan. He knew why- Ever since Buu, something had changed between them. Something huge.
The fusion was what started it. He had suddenly known Vegeta intimately, just as Vegeta had known him-if only for a short while. He had felt Vegeta's pain, his anger, his stinging hatred- and his love.
For years, Goku had dared to hope that Vegeta was not just an evil entity-because he believed that no naturally-created life form could be. He didn't care what others, like Krillin and Yamcha, thought about Vegeta. It didn't change his mind. A person's background, surroundings, family, and friends determined what they were like, and he firmly believed that people could change.. could find love and happiness. They just needed a chance, or more than one, to make that happen. And he'd been proven right during the brief time that they were fused, for Goku sensed a deep, albeit hesitant, love emanating from the stubborn man.
Goku never got the chance to know where that love was directed, though he'd always wished that it was for him.
Suddenly his face fell, as he realized that the thoughts going through his mind were shameful, because the man who he had fallen for already had a family- as did he.
"What could you possibly be lost in thought over?"
Goku blinked, focusing back on the beautiful, prideful saiyan prince in front of him, who was now swishing his new tail back and forth in an irritated way.
"Uh..." He couldn't come up with anything to say. 'I really like you... I just never had the courage to tell you. And now I spend my waking moments wondering what you are doing, and picturing your naked body in my head'? Yeah, that would go over real well.
Goku took a deep breath, closing his eyes, painfully aware that Vegeta's eyes were still on him.
"Umm, I forgot I have to do something! I'll be right back." He quickly touched two fingers to his head, and teleported to the first place that came to his mind: The forest he grew up in with his grandfather.
Taking several deep breaths, he found a small hillside and sat down, wrapping his arms around his knees and gazing up into the dark, cloudy sky. With a pang, he realized he was being a coward.
Was this what forbidden feelings had reduced him to?
He scowled at himself. He should go back to the party. He should forget Vegeta. It was wrong- he was married, and so was Vegeta. Life wasn't always fair. He'd always gotten everything he wanted; it was only natural for him to be denied something at some point in his life.
And he loved Chichi. Didn't he?
Well. He loved her still, yes, but they had barely been adults when they'd married. He didn't really understand what love was then.
He nodded, understanding finally that what he felt for Chichi was more of an innocent, childlike love. It wasn't the same as what he felt for the prince, which was soulrending passion and wild desire and need.
Need? He searched himself.
Yes. Need. He needed to feel the warmth of Vegeta beside him, or at least needed the courage to have a mature conversation about it. He was being torn apart, and had been for far too long.
But what could he do about it?
Nothing. Even if, by some miracle, Vegeta felt the same –and Goku sometimes had a sneaking suspicion that he did- he still couldn't act upon it. His loyalty to Chichi prevented it, just as he knew that Vegeta's honor would stop him.
Goku closed his eyes with a sigh, resting his head in his arms. Well, there ya go. It was a hopeless situation. The very first hopeless situation Goku had ever known.
But that didn't mean he had to run away. He needed to put this behind him, move on.
Once again, he told himself he should go back.
Quiet moments passed, and suddenly the skies cleared. He looked up and smiled. The stars were twinkling at him. What a beautiful night- Perhaps something good could come out of the pain. Nights like this always brought him happiness.
Vegeta blinked in astonishment when he realized that Kakarrot had IT'd away from him. Vegeta growled to himself and angrily stalked over to the alcohol table to pour himself a few shots of vodka. He paused when he heard two giggles from below.
With a smirk, he peeked underneath the tablecloth, knowing what he'd find. Goten and Trunks were sharing a bottle of whiskey between them, keeping their ki's hidden of course. At the sudden light, they stared and gulped when they noticed Vegeta.
"Having fun, boys?" He asked softly, deadly.
With twin yelps, they dashed away and out of the room. He laughed to himself. Sure, they were 17 now, and he didn't exactly care what the hell they did with their time. Still, it had been fun to intimidate them- and he knew Bulma wouldn't approve of them drinking, anyway.
Not that he really care what she thought, anyway. She and him weren't a couple anymore; she went her way and he went his. He stayed for Trunks, and she understood and didn't pressure him to do anything. She had asked him a year before if it was allright if she got back together with Yamcha, and he'd shrugged at her, feigning aloofness. In reality, it bothered him-but only because Yamcha was such a worthless idiot.
Not like Kakarrot.
Vegeta's tail twitched as he considered his long-time rival.
Once he'd hated him, but that felt like a lifetime ago. Now, he felt- what? Kinship, he supposed. Friendship. And yet, there were times when an unknown emotion crept over him, usually after they'd spent hours sparring and were resting next to each other on some hillside or canyon, laughing and looking over their wounds, promising to do better next time. The feeling he sometimes noticed- what was it? It couldn't be...
With a growl, Vegeta forced his thoughts to rest. No. He would not look at Kakarrot in that way. Kakarrot was his friend, nothing more. He would not allow himself to desire Kakarrot.
The prince of all saiyans needed no one.
Suddenly, he felt a familiar ki enter the room. He folded his arms across his chest and turned away, refusing to look at the one whom he was thinking about. His eyes fell upon the shot glasses on the table, and in an instant, five were filled to the brim with vodka. He drank them hurriedly, and poured some more, wanting to lose himself for a little while.
Goku had forced himself to rejoin the party, and when he entered, everyone was waving at him and asking where he'd disappeared to. He smiled and held up a CD that he'd brought.
"I was hoping to get a chance to sing some karaoke!"
At that, everyone whistled and cheered.
"So you have a song in mind?" Bulma smiled and walked with him to the stage, where a rather complicated looking machine stood beside the microphone.
Goku's heart hammered. This was it. In the forest, he'd made a decision. He couldn't express himself in words to Vegeta; he was too scared of risking their friendship. But he wanted a chance to express himself somehow- he needed that chance. And then a song had come to him, a song that reminded him of them. And so, impulsively, he went out and bought the CD, and returned to Bulma's with it in hand.
Now, he was nervous, but he dutifully stood by Bulma and handed her the CD. "It's called 'My Sacrifice'."
Bulma nodded, fiddling with the CD and the machine. After a few moments, she stood and straightened her slinky red dress. She winked at Goku. "Okay, it's all yours!" She waved to the crowd and blew them a kiss, and walked off the stage, leaving Goku standing with a microphone in his hand and a rapid heartbeat that wouldn't slow down.
The music started, and he closed his eyes.
It's too late to turn back now, and besides- you want this.
He reopened his eyes to stare into the waiting crowd. He saw Yamcha, Krillin, and Master Roshi put down their cards to grin at him, listening.
"Hello my friend, we meet again
It's been awhile, where should we begin?
Feels like forever...
Within my heart are memories
Of perfect love that you gave to me
Oh, I remember..."
He sang quietly, calmly. He knew he didn't have the best voice, but he didn't really care. The important thing was the message, the meaning. Would Vegeta pick it up? Perhaps. And if he didn't- Well, so be it. This was all Goku was going to do, and then he would force his love deep inside where it could never again make him hurt like this.
He needed to voice his pain, his thoughts. This song was it. It..was all he could allow himself to do. He couldn't slip any further. He couldn't do that to Chichi.
"When you are with me, I'm free!
I'm careless, I believe...
Above all the others we'll fly
This brings tears to my eyes
His eyes searched the smiling crowd, seeking a certain face.
There! He spotted him, leaning against a wall in typical Vegeta fashion, staring right back at him.
"We've seen our share of ups and downs
Oh how quickly life can turn around
In an instant..
It feels so good to reunite
Within yourself and within your mind
Let's find peace there..
When you are with me, I'm free
I'm careless, I believe
Above all the others we'll fly
This brings tears to my eyes
I just want to say hello again
I just want to say hello again."
Onyx eyes bored into his, and he thought he saw a frown cross Vegeta's normally expressionless face.
He realized he was crying, and blinked. He rarely cried.
The love he felt for the small Saiyan prince was overwhelmingly powerful. He felt his heart beat into overdrive, and still he couldn't take his eyes off of him.
"When you are with me, I'm free
I'm careless, I believe
Above all the others we'll fly
This brings tears to my eyes..."
Vegeta felt frozen, breathless.
Kakarrot was singing to him... Kakarrot was crying for him!
He recognized it immediately. He didn't know the song, but who else could it be about? And then Kakarrot had confirmed it by staring at him across the room for most of the song.
Vegeta didn't know how to react, what to feel.
He swallowed uneasily, but didn't take his eyes off of the tall figure on the stage.
Kakarrot was in love with him.
How had he not noticed the signs?
Whenever they were together, Kakarrot always had a sparkle in his eyes that he never had for anyone else.
Vegeta let out a ragged breath.
No, he had always known. It was so painfully obvious after all... Vegeta just hadn't allowed himself to consider the truth.
Love. The fool loved -him-! Why? What good had he ever done anyone?
But Kakarrot was another story; Kakarrot was nothing less than perfect in every way. A superb warrior unlike any other, (he could finally admit this without anger)and a good-natured man who wanted nothing other than to find new challenges and make others happy.
Well, maybe there was something else after all, Vegeta realized. Kakarrot wanted -him-.
Vegeta couldn't breathe again, thinking about Kakarrot's hands running all over him. Imagining undressing him, caressing him. Fuck! What is that clown doing to me?
"When you are with me I'm free
I'm careless, I believe
Above all the others we'll fly
This brings tears to my eyes..."
Goku finished the song, his eyes never leaving Vegeta's once he found him. Vegeta had been silent the entire time, but once or twice he'd seemed to take a deep breath or something. Vegeta wasn't dumb; Goku figured he knew now. The message had gotten through. His feelings were known.
So, what now?
He'd intended to simply sing out his love, and then let it all go. But now, he found he didn't want to. No... He didn't even know if he could.
He wanted to actually say the words to Vegeta, and find out if... if... But he couldn't bring himself to even contemplate any further.
He held the microphone away from him, and blinked, snapping out of his reverie to glance around uncertainly. All eyes were on him, and it was silent for a long moment. And then- Wild applause. He smiled sheepishly, knowing his voice wasn't -that- great. Still, it was nice to feel their love, and he stepped off the stage feeling freshly rejuvenated.
He started towards the spot where Vegeta was, and realized that he was no longer there. With a frown, he gazed around again. Nope, Vegeta wasn't in the room. He tried to find his ki, but it was gone. Vegeta was hiding from him.
Feeling sorry for himself, he went to the kitchen to gulp down some water and clear his head. He was feeling a little odd- the alcohol had gotten to him after all.
He froze. Oh. It was Chichi.
He turned with a big fake smile on his face, and she stared at him in a way that was somehow both stern and kind.
"How long, Goku?"
"How long has this been going on?"
He swallowed. Oh. No. His eyes must have betrayed his sudden anxiety, because she reached out to wrap her arms around him.
"I... Chichi, nothing has happened between him and I. Nothing, I swear." He tried to pat her back reassuringly, but he felt sickened, and couldn't do anything but close his eyes.
She gazed up at him. "I believe you. I know you're too good of a soul to do that to me. That's not what I meant. How long have you been in love with... him?" She couldn't say his name; she'd always hated him. And now she knew that Goku wanted him.
Goku sighed. Well, all he could do was tell the truth. The truth was important to him, and he'd lied to himself and to Chichi for far too long."I... I think a part of me fell in love with him while we were fused; I felt his essence.. I learned things about him that..." He couldn't continue along that path. "Uhmm.. Anyway.. I didn't realize it at the time, and I ignored it for as long as I could. But gradually... over the years.... I -really- fell for him. Oh, Chichi! I'm so sorry!" He gasped. "I don't want to hurt you like this!"
She held him tighter. "Hush, Goku. Yes, it hurts, but I'll get over it. We haven't been happy for a long time, have we? We both know this." She paused. "And you... Goku, heavens knows I despise that man, but who else could help him change? Who else can love him like you can? And... who else fits him as well as you do? I think... you would do well to go to him. You'll both be around for centuries longer than Bulma and I. I want you to be happy, Goku. For reasons I don't understand, he makes you happy. So... that's all there is to it, really."
Goku was silent, finding new strength in her words. He stared down at her in wonder. She could be alot to handle, but when it came down to it.. Chichi did have a lot to give. "You're.. unbelievable, do you know that?" He gave her a large, sincere smile, and she smiled back, wiping away a tear.
"I do know that, as a matter of fact!" She laughed. "Now... go. Be free. You and I will figure things out later."
He nodded and kissed her forehead. "Thank you, Chi. Just... thank you."
She nodded back, her gaze watery. "Be happy, Goku."
Goku began looking for Vegeta, trying various places. He wouldn't let him go without a fight. At the pun, he laughed.
Vegeta stared into the darkness, pondering where to go. He'd already hid his ki, and he was certain that no one had seen him leave.
He didn't want to be there right now.
For reasons he could only grasp at, he was terrified. Terrified of... what? Certainly not Kakarrot. But the feelings he felt from Kakarrot, the pure love and infinite sorrow radiating from him on that stage had driven him to run. And... the feelings that he, the prince of all saiyans, felt for the big-hearted warrior were truly ridiculous.
He was motionless, thinking,
Ridiculous. What other word could possibly describe it? How could he...
He felt a soft hand on his shoulder, and turned to face his once enemy. "Kakarrot." He acknowledge, unsure what to say. Part of him wanted to pull the big lug to him and kiss him like there was no tomorrow, and part of him wanted to shove him away and run as far and as fast as he could. He fought his terror and remained still, waiting for the other to speak.
Instead of speaking, Goku pulled him close to him. Vegeta, surprised, let himself be held. And then he found himself even welcoming the warm touch of the other's tall, muscular body. He could scarcely believe this was happening, but... it wasn't bad. It was different, and if someone had told him a decade ago that he'd one day be in his once-hated rival's arms, he would have laughed long and hard.
But this was... strangely comforting. Kakarrot certainly had a way about him, he mused.
Sighing, Vegeta laid his head on Kakarrot's chest, feeling the other's strong heartbeat.
Goku ran his fingers through his hair, causing chilling tingles to run through the prince. "Vegeta... I love you, my prince."
Vegeta said nothing, but he closed his eyes and allowed a rare smile to cross his face.
Above, the stars twinkled.
So... whaddya think? -grins- It was written rather quickly, since I didn't want to lose the idea, but I think it's interesting, and realistic. Remember that both of them were a little tipsy. Anyways... if you want to, i would LOVE to know what you think!