Disclaimer: I don't own The Mentalist or the characters.
A/N: Okay I promised this one a long while ago, but things got really hectic. So please enjoy the extended version of Chapter three of Obvious: Monsoon. This was requested by maricejayo and I decided that I would like to make it into a three or four part-er. Hope nobody minds.
One question though: Should I use the same chapter that I used in Obvious for the confrontation between them or should I mix it up a little and write something totally new? Its up to you guys. Considering its just an extended version I thought of using the same but adding more to it.
The morning had been downright horrible, Lisbon had tried to conveniently forget what had happened on this day so many years ago but that hadn't really worked out so far. The alarm on her bedside table went off twenty minutes early for no apparent reason other than to make her suffer even longer than she had planned. The shower ran cold long before she had even stepped into it which resulted in a call to plumbing and an argument. After hanging up she had choked back the tears that threatened to take over. Was the world having fun toying with her emotions today? She could only imagine what would happen if Jane found out.
There was no way she was going to let the team know that anything was wrong. They didn't need to know her personal life and hopefully they respected that. Something told her a certain man wouldn't be so understanding of her privacy and that thought alone was enough to make her wish she could just stay home. That wasn't an option though, she couldn't miss work because of something that had happened so long ago. She hated that it still affected her to this degree. She'd been somewhat successful in hiding it from her team in the past, they always noticed her odd behavior but no one said anything not even Jane. She knew in her gut that today was different.
The dark clouds looming in the sky warned of an impending storm that would undoubtedly remind her of every night she had spent awake when she was a kid watching the lightening with her mother. Of all the days it just had to storm on this one. Damn the world for mocking her feelings. Damn everyone for never acknowledging how torn up she really was. Yes, she liked to keep her personal life a secret but it still would have warmed her heart for one of them to at least ask her if she was okay or why she was staying holed up in her office one day out of each year. She'd act nonchalant on the matter and say she was fine in that 'I'm the boss, don't mess with me' tone but inside she'd silently thank them for caring. Maybe they had already guessed -- she figured they had-- why she avoided contact and were just respecting the fact that she needed to be left alone. If they did then damn them for being so understanding.
There was paperwork stacked on her desk when she arrived at work, some lawsuit against Jane and the CBI for something he had done. Minelli wasn't happy but honestly the man had deserved everything he got. It's not like Jane had really hurt him, well she didn't count minor burns and being covered in feathers as hurting someone. Besides the man had been guilty, they could get out of being sued easy enough. A little bribery, she wasn't completely above bribery but damn Jane all the same. He could be such a pain at times but that stupid smile of his could always brighten her day. In fact when he flashed her the trademark grin and wished her a 'Good Morning' as she was getting coffee, the gloominess of her day actually lessened.
Throughout the day Jane had kept his distance. The witty remarks and dorky grins were actually missed, she wanted him to treat her the same as always. It would be easier, surely he knew that. She dropped the pen that she'd been writing with and jumped when a man cleared his throat.
"There's a storm coming." Teresa Lisbon looked up from her paperwork to see Jane standing in the doorway smiling from ear to ear.
"You love thunderstorms. You like to go for walks in them. It gives you a sense of strength." She hadn't invited him in, but he came closer to her desk anyway. It wasn't like if she told him to go away he'd actually listen.
"How do you know that?"
"Awe come on Lisbon, you know I never tell." The sparkle in his eyes always managed to make her heart skip a beat and her stomach tighten. She didn't want to be attracted to him. That would be just asking for trouble and yet she found that not wanting it only made her want it even more.
"Jane, I'm really not in the mood for your tricks."
"No tricks, just an observation." Closing her eyes she let out a ragged sigh. Why? Couldn't he leave it alone for just this day. This horrible day that always reminded her of one of the worst times in her life.
"Then I'm not in the mood for your observations. Just for today please leave me alone." Her voice faltered towards the end of her sentence making her sound like a scared little kid. Great something else for him to tease her about, but to her surprise he didn't. His eyes filled with concern instead.
"What's wrong?" She found it ironic that she missed his teasing demeanor until he was actually in the room and then she was afraid that he would try to get her to open up and that was not on her list of things to do today. She wanted to, but that would make him think of her differently wouldn't it?
"You seem to know all about my personal life so you tell me." She was being snippy on purpose hoping he'd decide that she was too cranky, but honestly she kind of wanted to stay.
"Interesting that you assume I know everything about you when in fact I don't. You keep yourself pretty well hidden, but I'll play along. First I'd like to point out that you told me to leave you alone only to turn around and give me permission to bother you once again seconds later. You're conflicted about something involving me. Which is why you want me to leave and stay at the same time but that's not all that's bothering you is it?"
"Self obsessed much Jane? It's not about you, okay, it's not. Now will you leave?"
"Alright I'll leave you here to wallow in denial. Feel free to come see me when you're done." Damn him for being such a prying, nosy man. Bless him for the same reasons. He left her alone once again with the thoughts of happy childhood memories that were always ruined by one very horrible one.
Today was the anniversary of her mother's untimely death. It wasn't something she wanted to share with everyone but she had never been so tempted to tell somebody before. It might have been because every year he'd look at her with those same inquisitive blue-green eyes on this very day. She loved his eyes. Sometimes they were a brilliant blue and sometimes they were more of a green, it all depended on the way he was dressed and his mood. It was almost like he already knew why she was acting differently and by the look that was always on his face, he did know, this was Patrick Jane after all. The thought of just walking out into the bullpen, right up to his couch and telling him exactly what bothered her each year on this very day, made her sigh with longing and drop her head to the desk as the first crash of thunder sounded. Why did she want to tell him if he already knew? Another boom echoed through the air as lightening lit up the sky. Storms were something she loved, but this day was something she hated.
Lisbon had learned to deal with the grief differently than most, she had never fully mourned the loss of her mother so every year she took a long walk that ended with forcing herself not to cry and downing a bottle of vodka. Her brothers had called her once but that hadn't ended too well. She was a little drunk and had said some things that made her seem weak. They had felt sorry for her, reminded her not to act like their father and she couldn't handle that again. Getting wasted every once in a while did not make her a drunk, it did not make her the same as her father. Nonetheless it had hurt to hear them say it, even though she knew they meant well. They were her brothers, they had went through the same thing but after all these years they had moved passed it so why couldn't she? Why was it that every year she felt worse? Maybe those counselors the school had made her talk to were right, maybe bottling it up was a bad idea. It didn't matter, there was no way she was about to announce to her team that she felt like crying because this was the day marking the memory of becoming motherless, of losing the love and affection that had always been present in her mother's touch. She didn't doubt that they might have put two and two together already, but them knowing and her telling them were two different things.
Teresa Lisbon was supposed to be the strong one, the leader, the CBI agent, independent in every way. She was a generally happy person but she gave herself one day out of the year to mourn the loss of her mother, the destruction of her family. Any other time she pushed it to the back of her mind, locked it away so she didn't have to deal with it. She had become a pro at that shortly after the funeral.
The first few rain drops pelted against the windows signaling the down pour. It was somehow fitting. She loved storms, she loved her mother. The different aspects of the storm represented her emotions in a way. The rain could be the tears she had wanted to cry for years but always held back, the thunder could be the way her heart had shattered into pieces when she learned what had happened that day and the lightening was the reminder that it would get better, brighter. It reminded her of Jane, he was her brighter despite his own dark and twisted past. As long as she had her team and him, then things were never really as bad as they seemed. The pain she felt had deadened over so many years but it was always still there, lingering around making her heart ache. Jane's pain was more recent and he did a good job of hiding the hurt, of living day to day. If he could do it then so could she.
a/n: Okay yes this is OOC, sue me, no wait don't. I have to have money for college. I look at it this way, I put way too much of myself into Lisbon's character because I act a lot like her and this is actually close to something that I do when I have to think about a certain event that took place when I was 10. At the time I didn't understand what had happened but now that I do it gets hard at times. So that's where this idea came from. I'm aware that its been a long time since her mother has died, but just based off some of the episodes I say she never dealt with it properly. I don't think she had the chance.