Translations

Ryan groaned and tried for the tenth time to ignore the mindless chatter of Neil and Jane. It wasn't that he was anti-social and intolerant (he was in fact a very tolerant man), but rather that the meaning behind what they said was very clear to all but the very two speaking.

"They're at it again, Captain!" He groaned, as Grey walked into the room.

Grey glanced over at Neil and Jane, who were playing cards on the other side of the room, and grinned in way of reply.

"You idiot!" Jane's voice floated over to the two officers.

"Jane thinks Neil's an absolute genius." Grey translated sarcastically as he sat down next to Ryan.

"Don't we all?" Ryan mumbled.

"Putting on weight, Jane?"

"Neil thinks Jane is hot." Grey was having fun. It wasn't like he had anything to do anyway.

"It's muscle, Neil. Get a girlfriend."

"Thank you; now ask me out!" Grey said in his "Jane" voice.

"Captain!" Ryan protested. This was definitely worse then facing Phantoms.

"Baby, I fly solo!"

"Not when you're around."

Ryan said nothing and instead picked up his helmet, trying to ignore Grey.

"Oh boy," Jane's voice was sarcasm it's self.

"Why wait? Just ask me now jack-ass!"

"Don't you think that's a little overboard Captain?" Ryan asked, but Grey wasn't listening. He was on a roll now!

"Hey Jane; what do you think of going through the scanners? I mean, don't you want kids some day? I mean, they are rumored to cause sterility and I want a little Neil Junior calling me 'Daddy' some day."

"Jane, can you have my babies someday?" Grey snorted as he faked Neil's voice.

Ryan hit himself with the helmet. The captain was being unusually strange today. Was there such a thing as a hyper Phantom? Maybe the captain had one of those.

"Why are we having this discussion?" Jane's cool voice asked.

"Yeah; why ARE we having this discussion? We could be making Neil Junior already!"

Ryan decided that after his years were up, he was going some place far away from Neil, Grey and Jane.

"Why are you always busting my chops?" Neil whined. He threw down a card.

"I like your idea Jane. There's a room right there."

"Oh shit!" Ryan looked up from his helmet. Neil had his head in his hands and Jane had her arms crossed smugly.

"Lost again Neil?" Grey asked with a smirk.

"Gawd Captain, she ALWAYS wins."

Gawd Captain, she always calls top! Ryan translated silently. And then with horror, he squeezed his eyes shut and groaned aloud. Why?

"Don't play her then." If Ryan had bothered to open his eyes, he would have seen Grey smiling.

"Hand it over Neil." Jane demanded.

"I hate you Jane." Neil handed over a few dollars anyway.

I love you Jane.

"I hate you too Neil."

I love you too Neil.

Ryan couldn't take it any longer. He got up, muttered something about 'getting far away from here' and nearly ran out of the room.

"What's with him?" Neil asked.

"Oh," Grey smirked. "He's had too many translations."