Almost at peace

It was been three years since the destruction of Alderaan. We have won some battles against the Empire and have lost some. Most recently we lost much when the Empire found and attacked our base on the icy world of Hoth.

I don't know why I'm speaking to you Bail, but I am.

I have developed a deep friendship with Luke Skywalker and a former smuggler, Han Solo.

I'll tell you about them. Luke is the Alliance's best pilot and a natural born leader. Some of High Command say that he's a lot like his father, but he doesn't have his father's wit.

Han Solo on the other hand can be summed up with one word: scoundrel. I like him though. He can be very thoughtful and polite. He's a daring pilot and I wish I could say that he's an excellent mechanic, but I sadly can't. He makes easy repairs though.

Han, his co pilot a wookie named Chewbacca, 3PO and I barely escaped the base ahead of the Imperials and spent several days dodging them.

Since the Hyperdrive wasn't working we made our way to Bespin where a friend of Han's lived and fell right into a trap set by the Empire. We were tortured, but asked no questions. We learned that Vader was after Luke.

Han was frozen in carbonite and than handed off to Boba Fett.

I prayed that Luke wouldn't come but I saw him as we were led down the corridors of the city. I called out to him that it was a trap, but he continued on. He fought Vader and lost his right hand and his father's beloved lightsaber.

We escaped with the help of Han's friend Lando, who got us in that mess in the first place.

If it wasn't for Artoo we would have been captured by Vader in space. He reactivated the Hyperdive and not a moment too soon.

Luke just got his hand replaced, he seems to be taking it rather well. Lando and Chewie have left for Tatooine to wait for Boba Fett to show up with Han and then we will rescue him.

I guess I should tell you about how I met Ani and Padme.

Sometime after Mother died and you had been gone a long time or at least it seemed long. I had been crying when my nanny told me to stop making so much noise. So I screamed in my mind. A voice suddenly said that if I didn't stop broadcasting my cries that I'd get his attention. I asked softly who he was and was told that I didn't want to meet him. That he'd break me and make me do his bidding.

I asked the voice who he was and he replied that his name was Ani. I asked him for a story and he told a silly story.

A few nights later I met Padme. I wanted to speak to Ani but she came and told me that it was a bad idea for me to speak to him at the moment.

She stayed close and talked to me a lot. Not that Ani didn't speak to me he was just distant, as if he was angry about something and didn't want me to think that he was mad at me.

Now that I think about it I believe that I mentioned Ani to you. Yes I did. You thought that Ani was a girl and that she was my imaginary friend.

I was angry that you had misidentified my friend so I refused to talk to you. Padme said that it was a childish thing to do.

Padme came back shortly after we left Yavin IV. She said that she wanted to but if she tried he would have noticed on Coruscant and that on Yavin IV the Darkness made her stay away.

I have contacted Ani again. He was very frantic about finding someone. I never asked who. He seems to be at a lose now. As if his very beliefs have been shaken or as if he's been torn apart and doesn't know how to put himself back together.

Padme's excited she says that the end is near. I wish that I could believe her.

Padme told me that if I don't forgive myself for what happened to Alderaan that I'll become like Ani. Drowning in guilt.

Maybe I'll understand one day.

I miss you.