yeah this is long past due, but hey, it took me forever to find some scripts. and its summer, i went on vacation. but here it is, my new season 3 story. i'll try and keep adding chapters quicker then i did this one, please pray my muse doesn't run away, happy reading and comments are always welcome :D enjoy!
The Road Less Traveled By
Season 3 Story
Chapter 1: The Magnificent Seven Part 1
Sam turned and I could see his shoulders tensing. "How long do you get?" He asked, voice breaking.
I looked down, tears filling my eyes as well. Dean put an arm around me and brought me into his chest. I buried my head in his shoulder.
"One year," He said softly, it vibrating against my face. "I've got one year."
I started to walk towards Dean to get in the car when I felt a popping sensation and a rush of liquid ran down my legs. I moaned softly and held onto my stomach.
"Andy?" Dean asked. Sam rounded the car and took hold of my arm as I started to bend at the waist a little.
I looked up at Dean. "Dean, I think my water just broke."
O0o0o0o0 One Month Later 0o0o0o0o
"Dean, you're putting it on backwards."
He scoffed. "I am not."
"Oh, really?" I smirked and he rolled his eyes, picking it up to look at it again. "Is that why Riley had a bootie on her hand instead of on her foot?"
Dean frowned. "I thought this was the bootie and this was the little glove…thingy." Riley cooed, like she was laughing at him.
I smiled and took the footie pajamas from him and held them up so he could see. "Okay, so," I showed him the booties first. "See the bottom of these?" He nodded. "They have this material, that if she was in her walking phase, she wouldn't slide on hardwood floors. And this," I motioned to the mitten like gloves on the other end. "Are little gloves that come off. So we can take them off when she sleeps."
Dean sighed. "Why do all of her clothes have to be so complicated?"
I snorted as I gently drew Riley's arm through the sleeves. "It isn't complicated at all. You're just an idiot when it comes to baby clothes, babe."
"I dressed Sam all the time." He stated. I smiled as I looked over at him and he was intently watching me dress her so he knew how to do it. Of course, then he casually looked away like he didn't need any guidance.
I stepped back from the crib a little. "Well, little boy clothes are different from girl's clothes. Come here."
He stepped closer and smiled softly as he looked inside the crib at Riley. She gurgled happily when she saw Dean and started to kick her feet. I kissed his head and ran my hand along his back. "Button her up."
He gently reached inside the crib and stroked her cheeks. I smiled as I watched him. Riley took one of his hands and started wrapping her fingers around his own. She started sucking on his ring finger and she scrunched her nose and pushed his hand back.
"You don't taste very good, I guess."
Dean grinned that dirty smile that made my heart wrench and my stomach do flip flops. "That's not what you said last night."
I blushed a dark crimson and smacked his ass. "Keep it G, horny boy. She probably soaks up everything we say like a sponge these days."
Dean buttoned her pajama's up and picked her up out of the crib. She settled against his chest automatically and I smiled as he sat down next to me. "Probably a good thing Sam took her in her stroller when we were doing the deed then. A lot of profanities seem to come out of your mouth when…"
"Dean!" I cut him off and he laughed.
I rolled my eyes and leaned closer to him to look at Riley. She had her eyes closed and was resting her head on Dean's shoulder. I gently stroked her back and I felt Dean lean down and kiss her head.
"She's perfect." He said softly and I smiled, kissing her nose before I pulled back.
"Well, look who made her."
Dean raised his eyebrows. "Was that a joke I just heard Ms. Core?"
"Learned from the best I'm afraid." I smiled at him and he came closer and kissed my lips gently.
God it was like jump starting an engine. Blood seemed to flow faster, heart pounded harder. Everything seemed to jump start and stay at an accelerating speed. He cupped my face and stroked my cheek gently. He turned his body towards me and moved a little more onto the bed. The action made Riley shift and she whined softly. Dean moved back as Riley opened her eyes. She whimpered and I kissed her head.
"Shh, baby." Dean said softly, rocking her back to sleep. He looked up at me. "Looks like we need to get Sam to babysit again."
I smirked. "So we can have sex? Think I'll pass."
Granted, I hardly ever told him no these days. I mean, I wasn't pregnant anymore and the only factors were Riley and Sam. And Sam was pretty lenient to things Dean wanted to do now and then. We were both so obvious on why too. Because Dean had dying wishes. And we wanted to give him every one that he deserved. Which was wrong, Dean knew what we were doing and he was taking advantage. But I couldn't tell him no. Because then the guilt settled in. And I didn't want to deal with guilt more than I had to.
He nodded and looked down at Riley. He wasn't mad. He understood I had limits, just like I had before there was a number on his days.
"I'm sorry." I said softly, even though he wasn't mad.
He turned to look at me. "Don't sweetie." He kissed my head and put an arm around me. "Don't." It was in that tone of voice that made me want to feel in the mood, to the point where I was almost forcing myself. Unfortunately, Dean could tell when I was doing that. And even though I'd be giving into what he wanted, he wanted me willingly. If I was forcing myself, he wasn't interested.
"Speaking of Sam," Even though the topic of Sam had been gone for at least ten minutes, I knew he wanted to move on. "Where is he?"
"Oh, I think he's getting a newspaper for our next job." Lies. God, he had to know I was lying right?
Ever since the graveyard a month ago, Sam had been on a hell bound mission. Well, I guess it was an anti-hell bound mission if you took the saying literal. He had been going to the library almost every night, calling Bobby to talk about if he had found anything. All under Dean's nose. Sure, every night was a different excuse. Food, fill up the Impala, newspaper, actually some times it was actually to go to the library to look for something different. If Dean knew, he didn't say anything.
"Okay." He kissed my head. "Just the sooner he gets back, sooner we can sleep for a little before she wakes us up in the middle of the night."
"I can hold her till he comes back. You can start heading to sleep."
He shook his head and continued to rock Riley. "No, I love holding her." He said softly and I smiled, stroking his hair. "I'll settle for getting some comfortable clothes on."
I nodded and he gently handed her to me. I held her to my chest and kissed her head a few times while Dean pulled off his button down and put it in the dirty laundry pile. I yawned softly and leaned back against the headboard. Riley shifted again, curling her fingers around my hair before she settled down again.
Having Riley with us wasn't as complicated as I thought. We could carry on semi heavy hunts with her. Either I stayed with her, or one of the boys did. Although, on some rare occasions; or whether the hunt just called for more hunter power, Bobby came in and babysat while we were away. We were taking breaks in between hunts though, to spend time with Riley. Which we rarely did before she was born. I was guessing that as she got older, the hunts would be come less frequent. Though, that's what I was hoping. If Riley chose this hunter life, the hunts wouldn't end. They'd just become her hunts instead of Sam, Dean and mine.
"You want to work out when Sam gets back? Or do you want to sleep?"
Dean had also been making sure I was getting back into shape. An unhealthy hunter was a sloppy hunter. I couldn't remember whose catchphrase that had been. John's or my dad's. Nonetheless I had been going out on morning runs and doing push ups and sit ups, just like I had done when Dean, Sam and I were kids.
"Uhm," I thought for a moment. "Maybe like, hundred sit ups?"
He nodded as he slipped a black t-shirt on. "Fair enough. I'll match you if you want?"
"Yeah, you mise well get some work out in too." I smiled softly.
He scoffed and ruffled my hair as he sat down next to me. "Not like I need it!"
I smiled and rolled my eyes. "Right, forgot your body is perfect the way it is."
"Damn straight it is." I watched him lean down on the bed and pull the covers up and over himself and me.
"What about working out?"
He sighed softly. "Just getting comfortable until Sam gets back. Give me her." I kissed his head and gently settled Riley onto his chest. She curled into him and he kissed her head.
I laid down next to him and settled my face into his neck. I breathed in his skin and put my arm around his waist.
He shifted his head and left small kisses on my cheekbone. "Still having nightmares?"
I swallowed and closed my eyes. "Every night since we brought Riley with us. God, they're so horrible Dean."
"But you know they're just nightmares right? You know that there's no way in hell we're letting those horrible things happen to Riley."
I nodded and pushed my face farther into his neck. Ever since we left the hospital I had been having dreams about Riley and…well, a bunch of different things happening to her. Horrible things. Horrible deadly things. I felt tears fill my eyes. I mean maybe I was just being a worried mother but when the nightmares started to include demons and rituals and not the average accidents, I think that there was some cause for alarm or worry.
"But they're my nightmares." I said suddenly. "I…I dreamt about you in Hell and I didn't do anything and look at what's happening now!" Riley whimpered in Dean's arms from the noise and he sat up a little, rocking her. I sat up too. "God, I didn't mean to startle her."
Dean held her as she fussed in his arms. "Hey, it's okay Peanut." I ignored the fact that Dean was so close to the alternate universe Dean when he was with Riley. He called her peanut and he had a purple bear for her. Which I'm sure Riley would eventually call Dott one of these days. It didn't bother me. Some of the perfect life inside the imperfect one was nice.
I sniffled. "I didn't mean to yell."
"Shh," He looked at me. "I know," He stroked my hair. "It's okay." Riley eventually settled and fell right back asleep against Dean like nothing had startled her in the first place. "See?" He said softly. "She's right back to sleep again." I nodded softly and he placed a small kiss on my forehead.
He looked at me for a long moment as my eyes seemed to fall to the bed sheets. He was trying to read my mind, I could tell. I could feel it. "What are you thinking about, pretty girl?" He asked softly.
Could I lie and say anything else. I mean, I could always tell him I was thinking about Sam, or Riley and the future. What she would look like heading into first grade or how she'd cope to the backseat of the Impala. Either, how we would help her adjust to a life on the road or how we'd stop hunting and get a place so she could wake up in the same bed every morning with her pink sparkled sheets and blue clouded walls. But…those things always lead up to the same thing that I was always thinking about. Dean. And how'd he never be there.
Soft and quiet; like deadly smoke. "You." I looked up at him. "You." I said more firmly.
He got up after that, refusing to meet my eyes. I think this is the way he was going to handle things from now on when anyone mentioned anything about him…or hell. This basically was a grown up Dean version of a temper tantrum. First he'd get all quiet and avoid my eyes.
Dean waited until Riley let go of his shirt in her sleep and then placed her in her crib, putting Ellen's present of a protective baby blanket over top of her. He stroked her head for a long moment and then set her purple bear near her.
"Dean, please don't ignore me."
"I'm not." He snapped.
I sighed. Right, first came the anger and then he ignored me. "I just think…that we should try to map out this whole thing. Figure out our options."
"They're no options." He said firmly.
"There's always an opinion. Always."
"Well this time there isn't Andy, so stop looking." He yelled. I couldn't believe how loud and angry he had gotten. "Stop it. And you can tell Sam to stop it too. Ya know, you two treat me like I'm some sort of oblivious dying person. You think that I can't see what you two are doing, that I don't know where Sam is right now. And I'm sick of it."
I felt tears pour into my eyes and I sniffled. "I…just don't want you to die."
Dean sighed; I could tell that was the steam from his anger leaving his body. He was done being angry. He was quieter, guiltier was more like it. "Andy, if we try to fuck with this deal," I closed my eyes. I hated that word coming out of his mouth. "Sam will die." I opened my eyes and looked at him. "He'll die."
My chin wobbled and tears poured down my cheeks. So I had to pick didn't I? If I kept helping Sam to find something to save Dean the deal could backfire and Sam could drop dead again. But if we stopped, Dean was going to hell.
"So just…let it go. I'll take the walk like I'm supposed to."
Tears burned my eyes. Dean was going to hell. "I uhm, I'm gonna take a walk." I stood quickly. I just…I needed to get out of the room.
"Andy, it's twelve at night and fifty degrees out."
"I won't be out long." I hurriedly put my shoes on and went for the door and opened it.
"You have a beater on!"
I slammed the door closed and kept walking. I could hear Riley start to whine in my head and Dean inwardly sighing.
I turned down the steps to head into the parking lot. How could he be so…God, so fucking nonchalant about dying? Didn't he care that he was leaving me? That'd he be gone forever? That we had no plan and there was no getting out of it.
I tried to wipe the tears away as I made it to the parking lot. They were relentless and cold on my cheeks as the wind blew. Thank God there weren't a lot of people out. Though when did I really give a shit about how I looked when I cried anyways.
Where was I going? Sam had the car. I couldn't just walk along the road. It was dark out and we weren't exactly in the best part of the city in the nicest hotel around. I sighed softly and sniffled. I wanted to be inside, in Dean's arms in bed. But I couldn't take that false crap he was spewing these days. And I know he couldn't take me crying about it either.
I turned the corner, intending on walking once around the parking lot before I went back up. I needed to gain my composure, be as nonchalant and calm about this as Dean was. Well at least I needed to be that way around Dean, I could be however I wanted to fucking be while I was by myself.
I wrapped my arms around myself, standing in the middle of the parking lot for a moment. I remembered there being a bench right near the front of the turn in, under the sign that said Red U-turn Motel with the blinking on and off vacancy sign. I'd sit there until Sam got back. At least. Hell maybe if I was stubborn enough I'd just fucking sleep there.
"Andy?" I looked up and saw Sam. I wrapped my arms around myself and nodded at him. "Uhm, you do know we have a room here right?"
He sat next to me and I nodded again. He probably thought I resembled some sort of bobble head.
"Yeah, I know. Just…thought a walk seemed like a good idea."
"A walk…in your pajamas in fifty degrees." That seemed to trigger his chivalry because he took his coat off and wrapped it around my shoulders. I slid my arms into the sleeves, welcoming the warmth Sam had left. "Dean said something again didn't he?"
Was this becoming routine? I guess it was. How many times had I been forced outside because Dean had been less then sensitive about his going to hell? How many times had Sam either followed me outside or found me outside, like he did tonight? Too many to fucking count.
I looked at him and nodded softly. "I just…I don't understand how he can be so nonchalant about dying. I don't understand."
"He's scared." Sam said softly. "He's lashing out at us because he's scared." I nodded softly and I felt his arm slip around my shoulders. I leaned into him a little and rested my head on his shoulder. "He shouldn't be yelling at you though. I know he gets frustrated but…with Riley and you; it's his time to be a family. The three of you. He should be savoring it, not pushing it away."
I felt tears fill my eyes and I tried to push them away. The word family and savoring it just felt like it hit way too close to him and my heart constricted painfully in my chest. I remembered my father and how eager he had been to go on a hunting trip with John; though back in those days where my mother was alive the hunting had been of actual animals, at least for a little while. Until John got on his revenge trip and started tracking down the demon that had destroyed his family.
I couldn't even recall why my dad had been so eager, so willing, to go on that damn trip. He didn't even like killing animals…no until my mom died. Maybe the reason had been grown up, something I couldn't understand. Maybe they were in a fight and my dad just wanted to get away for a week end. Something he regretted doing when she died, being away for all that time when he could have been with her.
Then it dawned on me. I was doing the same thing wasn't I? Just walking away when we got into a fight or when he made me angry, which Dean was doing a hell of a lot of lately. It was hard to stay in the room when he was like that, that bullshit 'I don't give a shit about anything, the hellhounds can take me when they're ready' attitude. It was really hard to be around. But…I'd regret not being in the room with him one day. Not watching him move around or lay back on the bed and fall asleep watching TV. Not seeing him talk to Riley if she was still awake or comforting her if she woke up and cried. I'd miss all these things.
"Andy, shh." Sam said softly, suddenly rocking me from side to side. It only took me a moment before I realized that I wasn't shaking from the cold. I was shaking because I was crying, and pretty hard too. My cheeks tinted pink as tears poured down them.
He pulled me close and I rested my face against his chest, tears soaking into his shirt. Vanilla wafted to my nose and seemed to calm me a little. I felt Sam's fingers run through my hair and then over my back. He rubbed my shoulders and the back of my neck, I felt bad that he had to deal with me like this.
I pulled back just a little so I could look up at him. "I'm sorry Sam." I managed to stutter out.
He shook his head and wiped my tear tracks with his long sleeve. "Don't be, sweetie." He smiled softly and kissed my forehead.
I smiled a little and pulled back completely, wrapping the jacket closer to me. "This is becoming a horrible little routine for us."
Sam sighed. "Well if Dean knew when to keep his mouth shut it wouldn't be. It's like he has no idea what should come out of his mouth and what shouldn't."
"Yeah. When is he going to say something mean to you and you come out the bench crying?"
Sam smirked. "And you give me your jacket to keep me warm?"
I nodded. "Exactly!"
He laughed softly and ruffled my hair. "I don't think your jackets will fit me, Andy. But really, thanks for the concern."
I smiled softly. "Just once I'd like to be the man in our relationship."
Sam ran a hand through his hair. "You probably could, you wear pants and boots all the time."
"I wear skirts sometimes!"
He snorted. "Your funeral dress does not count. Or the few and far between business skirts."
I frowned. "Well its not like I get to go to the mall and buy jean skirts Sam. And even if I did, where the hell would I wear them? I bet it'd work real well when we're salting and burning or running away from God knows what in a forest somewhere. Not to mention Dean would be on my ass about it. No matter how much he likes my legs." Sam smirked. "He sounds like his father when he fucking badgers me about my clothes."
Sam rubbed my shoulder absentmindedly. "I don't remember him acting like a father figure with your clothes."
I snorted. "Right, well I guess I should specify. There's a before we were dating and after. Before we were dating, like when I twelve, he wouldn't let me leave the house in a skirt. It wasn't even that short! It was a white flowy skirt, down to my knees."
"I do remember that! He gave your friend like a fifteen minute dissertation."
I nodded softly. "I wasn't even dating him. And then of course, last year, I wore those high heels to the graveyard, which wasn't even my fault. We had that damn lawyer we had to question. Dude, he never let me live that down. Swear he checks my shoes every time we leave the room now."
Sam laughed. "Yeah he's very John Winchester and Max Core when he does that."
I nodded softly. "Yeah, my dad used to check my attire all the time."
Sam smiled and sighed softly, his breath puffing slightly in the chilly air. "Well, we better get inside before Dean has a heart attack or something."
"I'm sure I already did." I stood with Sam and walked with him through the parking lot. "Either that or he's pacing the room getting ready to put his boots on and come look for me."
"Think he's that worried that he'd haul Riley up and come look for you."
I smirked but it wasn't really funny, more like I did it out of irony. "He's done it before. The only reason I came back in the room with him was because Riley was crying up a storm."
"So, surprise, I actually found us a job while looking for something to help Dean." I'd let Dean crush his heart and tell him he needed to stop looking. I couldn't do it, couldn't shatter the hope in his eyes.
"Sam, mind if I hear about it tomorrow some time?"
He stopped. "Uh, yeah sure, I guess."
"I just, this whole thing with Dean, feels like we should be on vacation somewhere with you and Riley. Somewhere warm and where there's sand…" I smile fondly but then frowned again. "Not looking for a job."
"I know Andy." He sighed softly. "I know. But I can't be the one you talk to about this. I'm not the one going to Hell in a year." That hit hard but he was right. Maybe it was supposed to be hard hitting, so I'd be enthralled to do something about it.
"He's not going to want to take a vacation. He's such a hardass like his father when it comes to the job. And hell, he's only got one more year to do it, why the hell would he want to take a vacation?" I asked sarcastically.
Sam sighed as we got to the motel door. "Because he loves you. And he loves Riley." I swallowed and looked at him. "Because it's the only vacation you'll get to have with each other."
The door swung open before I could respond. There was Dean, boots on and Riley in his arms. I nearly smirked as I looked at Sam. I offered him my hand, palm up. "Alright, pay up."
He snorted and swatted my hand away. "Fat chance, Core."
Dean's eyes widened and they went from me to Sam, to my hand and then to me again. I slowly pulled my hand back and stuck it into the jacket pocket.
"I'm really glad you think this is funny, Andy." Dean spat.
I rolled my eyes and walked past him. "Please. I do this half the time because of your jackass remarks, you should be used to it by now." I took the jacket it off and put it on Sam's bed. "And would you put Riley back to bed before you friggin wake her?"
Dean scoffed and shook his head. He gently went to put Riley back down while Sam widened his eyes a little and came in, closing the motel door. I was actually kind of surprised that Riley hadn't woken up by Dean getting her or putting her back or even by his rude ass comment. She was a heavy sleeper; she got that from Dean that's for sure.
"You know, I'm really tired of you walking out of here like we're in the safest place on the goddamn planet. I salt the freaking doors and windows for a reason, Andy."
"Don't condescend me, Dean. I know why we salt everything—"
"Sure as hell act like it." He cut me off.
I nearly screamed. "Yellow Eyes is dead, some breathing and walking room is rewarded alright?"
"That doesn't mean everything is safe. Just because Yellow Eyes is dead does not mean some other demon isn't trying to take its place." Sam sighed and sat down on his bed. "It's still dangerous Andy, for all of us."
I looked at Sam and he looked at me. He then looked at Dean. "Well maybe if you weren't upsetting her with this bullshit attitude you got going on, she wouldn't leave the room as much as she does."
Dean looked at Sam. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
"You're scared Dean, okay? And we all can see it." He scoffed and looked away. "I'd be scared too. We understand."
"You understand huh? You understand that I gotta go to hell for the rest of my life?" I swallowed and looked down. "That I gotta miss out on Riley and everything that she does? You understand that? Because I sure as hell don't."
He walked past me and went into the bathroom, nearly slamming the door. I looked at Sam and he sighed softly. I'm guessing we didn't really understand.
"Dean come on, it's been over two hours, you're being worse then me." I sighed as I knocked on the door again and got no reply…again.
I rubbed my forehead and looked at Sam. He shook his head at me, even though he was looking at the TV. How did he do that? "Don't even look at me Andy; we're in the same boat with this."
I licked my lips and looked at the door again. I was starting to feel very frustrated and I swear if it wasn't for Riley sleeping in the crib next to the bed I would have been pounding and screaming.
"Dean Winchester if you love me you will open up this door!"
Sam sucked in a breath. "Hitting him kind of hard with that one, aren't you?"
I rolled my eyes and waited. Maybe he had fallen asleep or something, it had been quite a while since he went in. He better of been asleep because if he didn't open this door I wouldn't only be pissed off, I'd be hurt too.
Just when I was about to give up and go to bed I heard the lock turn. The door didn't open but I sure as hell didn't need an invite after the lock was out of place. I opened the door slowly in case he was sitting near the door. But he wasn't. Steam pushed its way onto my face, smelling of raw cinnamon and Dean's shampoo. He had gotten a shower or was in the middle of one, though I didn't hear the water running. I went in all the way and closed the door.
Dean was in the bathtub, just lounging in a bath. He had already had his shower, now I'm guessing he just wanted a relaxing bath because he figured he was going to be in there for a while. He didn't look at me as I came closer and sat on the side of the tub. I sat there and watched him. He was looking into the water, his hair slicked back and heat curling off his skin like cigarette smoke.
"Dean." He looked up at me and said nothing. "You okay?" On the list of stupid questions to ask, that one had to be number 2. Right between 'Are you scared to go to hell?' and 'Are you going to miss me and Riley?'
"No." He swallowed. "Not really…at all." He sighs. "But you know this by now."
"I know, and I should just stop asking." I admitted softly. "I'm sorry." He shook his head and looked back at the water. I licked my lips and waited for him to talk, to just go into that Dean Winchester sarcasm but he didn't. "Are you mad at me?" Was that on the list of stupid questions too?
He sighed and I felt like he was angrier at the question then at me. "No, Andy." I didn't like the way my name sounded. "I'm not mad at you."
I sighed too, making it sound a lot like his. "Then why are upset?"
He gripped the side of the tub and slid up a little, his body squeaking along the bottom of the tub. "God damnit Andy if someone asks me why I'm fucking upset one more time I swear to God…"
"You'll what? You'll 'throw some punches?' Right heard that before."
"Right, then when do you feel the need to keep asking the same question?"
"Because I'm worried about you! Sorry, won't do that again." I turned away from him and looked at the bathroom door. I understood being angry and upset some of the time because of this deal but being plain mean and pretending he didn't give a flying fuck about anything was just too much.
Tears filled my eyes a little. Sometimes I swear to God it just felt like he didn't love me anymore. Or, at least, too busy being angry and scared instead of compassionate and caring like he was before. I couldn't take a whole year of this.
I heard water ripple and felt his wet, semi-prune skinned hand rest against mine. I shivered from how warm it felt. "I'm doing it again, aren't I?" He asked, his voice like it used to be. There was no desperate edge. Just soft, loving, warm; like his hand. "Pushing you away." That wasn't a question; he knew he was doing it.
I nodded softly. "Yeah, you are. And I just want you to stop, its not fair with…the amount of time that we have."
"I'm sorry." He said softly, massaging my hand with his warm one. "Hey."
That was a key signal to look at him and I slowly did. My eyes ran over his eyes, so vibrant with beautiful color, his golden skin and the muscles underneath, his hair with the small little spikes sticking up from being slicked back with water. Everything. I took in everything I could.
He leaned up a little more, till he was as close as he could get without touching me. "I'm sorry."
I nodded softly. "I know. It's okay." I said gently and ran my hand through his hair. I left a small kiss on his forehead, my lips lingering, soaking up the warmth of his skin and the cinnamon tainted wetness left behind from his body wash.
"It's not okay." He ran his hand over my arm, making goose bumps rise on the skin. "Sam's right. I'm scared. And I shouldn't be taking that out on you." Tears plopped off my cheeks and onto his already wet skin, blending into the wetness and sliding off into the bath. "I'm so sorry, Andy, please don't cry baby."
I shrugged and laughed softly, just trying to brush off the tears a little, like they didn't mean anything. "I'm alright."
"Yeah, I believe that." He was serious but he smiled a little. I think because he knew me seeing him smile made me feel better a little. Which it did; I loved his smile. Made the world just a little brighter. Now if I could only convince him of that without his ego inflating eight hundred times it's size.
I smiled softly and he smirked softly. "Yeah, that's what I wanted to see." I rolled my eyes a little. He squeezed my hand and then kissed it. "Now give me a kiss."
I wiped my face and smiled at him. I leaned down and grazed my lips along his. I kissed him softly and he cupped my chin, pulling me closer. He pushed his lips against mine and kissed me as lovingly as he could. It was one of those things that I'd just always remember. Something I'd always feel.
He pulled away after a few moments and I felt myself reaching for more. He laughed softly and opened his eyes. I smirked. "Shut up. I want more." I pouted.
Dean's eyebrows rose and he smiled. I knew that smile. It was devilish; he was about to be up to no kind of good. "Oh really? You know what I want?" He leaned up a little more. "I kind of want you in this tub with all your clothes on."
Before I could even process that sentence, Dean wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me towards him. I squealed and fell into the water and on top of him, water licking the sides of the tub and spilling over a little. Water quickly seeped into my clothes and stuck to my body, outlining my curves.
"I hate you."
He chuckled and kept his arms wrapped around me as I shifted onto my stomach, laying against his chest. "I love you too."
I smiled softly and lean up and captured his lips again. His hands processed into my lower back and slid me up a little. I wrap my arms around his neck and kept kissing him, going deeper and deeper. His hands ran up my sides and caught my shirt, lifting the wet material over my head. He threw it aside, it making a 'thwap' noise as it hit the floor. He somehow never stopped kissing me.
The other articles of clothing followed.
Sam bounced Riley on his lap and smiled at her. She giggled and her little hands wrapped around his fingers. I smiled softly as I helped Dean sit on the bed, which kind of turned into him laying down. He groaned and rolled onto his side but then found that position too nauseating and rolled over again.
We had just gotten back from a diner, just getting some lunch. I really liked bringing Riley out and about with us. She always got compliments from the waitresses. And I couldn't help but admit I loved seeing the look on girls faces who were flirting with Dean when they heard the kid was his and not Sam's. Which I'm sure a lot of them liked to assume.
We didn't really have a job yet so we got out of the motel room while we could and relaxed a little. Course relaxing to Dean meant pigging out in the food department. Ever since the deal was made swear Dean just ordered whatever the hell he wanted and in large quantities. I guess he figured he mise well eat what wanted while he could. But being a glutton was getting ridiculous; all he ended up doing was making himself sick.
"How you feeling babe?" I asked softly.
Sam picked Riley up and set her against his side. "I'm gonna change her, okay?" I nodded as he took her into the bathroom.
Dean groaned softly as he sat up a little. "Mmmph. Like I had four cheeseburgers too many."
I raised my eyebrows and licked my lips. "Well maybe that's because you did have four cheeseburgers."
"Yeah, but they were sooooo good." I smirked as he gave me this cocky ass grin. The same one that still sent my stomach into flip flops after all these years.
I smiled and shook my head. "I know, but don't you think you're over doing it a bit?"
His frame had seemed to go ridged. For a moment I thought he was sick but as I looked up at his face, he was angry. What had I said? "Who's going to Hell Andy? You or me?" He sighed.
I frowned and looked down at my hands. Fuck, there he went again. I felt like he kept pointing it out because it was something to be proud of. And the thing that made me upset wasn't even Dean himself and his insistent or accidental reminders. The thing that fueled me was…I had forgotten. Fuck, I promised myself that I wouldn't forget that. Because when I forgot it was so much harder to face reality when someone brought it up again. It was that much harder to stay strong for Dean, Riley or myself. It was just hard. I wanted to angry at him and I wanted to cry. But I couldn't do any of those things. Because Dean sat up and pulled me into his chest and rocked me and placed kisses all over my head and the back of my neck. I closed my eyes.
"Fuck Andy. I'm sorry." I shook my head. "I'm so sorry." That word had been said more then necessary since this deal had happen. Everyone was so sorry. "I don't feel good."
And I couldn't stay mad at him, didn't have the strength to be honest. I pulled back and nodded at him, stroked his face and kissed his nose. Things I'd wish to do in a year, in two, in five.
"I know," I said softly. "It's okay." It wasn't really. Nothing was ever okay and nothing would ever be okay.
It was useless to stay mad at him and hurt too much. Made me feel guilty. Like my dad had felt for those days he spent away from my mom. Wasn't fair to hold that anger over such small things. Wasn't worth it.
Because all in all, at the end of the day, who was still going to Hell?
"Alright so…Bobby has what exactly?" Dean asked as Sam passed Riley to him. I watched her against Dean. She looked up at him and then curled into his chest. I smiled softly and swallowed. I wondered if she'd remember what he looked like…or smelled like even.
Dean lifted her a little and cradled her, rocking her gently. Her eyes closed immediately, tired from the already long day that had just started. I leaned closer and rested my chin on his shoulder. I continued to look down at Riley and I ran my hand over her stomach, she shifted gently and her hands came to rest over mine. I felt Dean smile and he kissed the bridge of my nose.
"Not much. Crop failure and a cicada swarm outside of Lincoln, Nebraska. Now, it could be demonic omens—" Sam started saying but of course Dean interrupted.
"Or it could just be a bad crop and a bug problem."
I scrunched my nose. "Cicadas are really creepy bugs." I shivered and looked up at Sam. He sighed and rolled his eyes as he sat on the bed. I scoffed and picked up a pillow and wailed it at his head. Roll your eyes at that, Winchester.
Unfortunately, Sam being the fast catching freak that he was, caught the pillow and set it down. "You're creeped out by any bug Andy."
"I am not!" I countered. "I like…butterflies. Oh, and Ladybugs." I smiled and nodded, defiant.
Dean snorted. "She's cute," He kissed my head. "Gotta give her that."
"I don't have to give her anything; I'm not sleeping with her."
I scoffed and threw another pillow at him. He smirked and caught that one too; the freak.
"Any freaky deaths?" Dean asked.
Sam shrugged. "Not that Bobby could find. Not yet, anyway."
"So this might not be anything?" I asked, running a hand through my hair. Dean's one arm held Riley against him and the other slid over my shoulder. I smiled softly and leaned into him.
"It's weird. I mean, the night the Devil's Gate opened;" I looked down. I'd remember that night for as long as I lived. The night Dean killed Yellow Eyes. "All these weirdo storm clouds were sighted over how many cities?"
"Seventeen." I mentioned softly. God how did we screw up so many cities in such a small amount of time? I mean, letting all those demons out was an accident. And some part of me hated to admit it was worth it. It was worth letting all those demons out to destroy that one son of a bitch that ruined our families.
"Seventeen." Dean repeated. "You'd think it would be Apocalypse Now, but it's been a month and bubkes."
I looked up at him and raised my eyebrows. "Is bubkus and actual word?"
He covered my mouth with his hand and I laughed and tried to push him a way a little. "What are the demons waiting for?"
Sam shrugged. "No idea."
"Why are you so antsy about it?" I asked Dean, playing with the hole in the knee of his jeans. "If the demons want to take a little vacation from trying to kill us I'm all for that."
Sam smirked. "Here, here." I smiled up at him.
"It's driving me crazy, that's why." He was aggravated, that I could tell. But itching for a fight when you were basically on vacation was just stupid. I mean we had basically had a month of non serious cases. A few hauntings and three possessions. No big deals. And Dean wanted to jump to demon wars and apocalypses? He was on his own with that one.
"If its gonna be war, I wish it would just start already." He concluded.
Sam looked uneasy. "I don't know, man. Careful what you wish for."
I looked down at Riley and then up at Dean. Sam was right. Wishing for something bad to happen was just too damn easy in our profession.
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