This is my story for Anti-Catherine Hardwicke day!
Iggy: Down with Hardwicke! She better not try and cast someone like Robert Pattinson as me! -grumbles loudly-
Rain: Agreed! Seconded! Whatever. Okay, so as previously mentioned, everyone's writing these because we think those particular actors would be a bad choice for Max and Fang. And that's putting it nicely, mind you.
Iggy: Bad choice? Try 'terrible', or 'horrific', or-
Rain: You've been hanging around me too much.
Iggy: Not my fault you're a walking dictionary.
Rain: -rolls eyes- Anyway, I give you;
Iggy: Do you want a drumroll?
Rain: Yes, please.
Iggy: -drum rolls-
Rain: 'What happens when the Fans get angry.'
Iggy: Erm, catchy title?
Rain: It's to the point, k.
Iggy: okay. Oh, and you still don't own anything, right?
Oh, and also;
I do not know Catherine Hardwicke. I do not mean any direspect to HER personally, my opinion is simply that her possibly casting choices would not be the best. I have never met Catherine Hardwicke, I have no idea what Catherine Hardwicke is like, and I do not think I am in a position to meet and find out these things about Catherine Hardwicke anytime soon. Sorry, Catherine Hardwicke, if you read this and feel snubbed. It's just my opinion. Not that you're going to read this, but whatever.
Max sat at her computer, reading Fang's blog. Normally, she wouldn't waste her time, but since they started dating, she figured she'd better find out what stuff he'd been posting on there.
Not that she was checking to see what girls had left comments, of course... Not at all.
As she was skimming along, she came across something surprising.
"Day of Anti-Hardwicke...?" she murmured to herself, "What on earth is that?"
Okay, so you guys have heard about Catherine Hardwicke wanting to cast Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart as you and Max in your movie they're making, right? Well Fang, the fans are not happy! They are coming up with numerous ways to stop this from happening, but so far they haven't really got all that far. Well, they have, but it's not far enough! Someone named St. Fang of Boredom started a petition, and someone else started a casting site... and that brings me to my final point- the Day of Anti-Hardwicke.
On FF(dot)net, on August 1st, lots of people are going to be posting stories about how they DON'T want Mr. Pattinson and Ms. Stewart to play you guys! If that doesn't prove it, I don't know what does!
Hope you take notice, and maybe fly over to Catherine Hardwicke and set her straight, or something.
Max blinked once. And then a second time.
"Uh, Fang?" she called to the dark-haired avian, "Come take a look at this." Fang appeared beside her, and she gasped softly in surprise. Instead of glaring at the offending desert rat-eater, she simply pointed to the screen, muttering 'don't do that'.
"Oh yeah. Day of Anti-Hardwicke. I read that comment yesterday." He shrugged. "Why is it important?"
"Because the fans don't want those actors to play us, shouldn't we listen to them?" Max asked.
"What can we do about it?" Fang asked. "Although I do agree; I'm sick of seeing their faces everywhere."
"Agreed." Max nodded. "But when they told us they wanted to make a movie about us, I didn't think they meant casting those people as us." Fang shrugged again, rather unhelpfully.
"Has anyone else commented? Like, about Anti-Hardwicke day?" Max asked.
"Check." Max rolled her eyes, but did as she was told. Her eyes bugged as she saw the number of outraged fans commenting about how much they didn't want Robert and Kristen to play the two hybrids.
"Okay... let's see what we've got here. Um... ooh! Hey, a link to the petition that girl was talking about." Max clicked the link, and Fang whistled.
"Woah... 1841 signatures?" he asked. Max nodded.
"Uhuh. These fans are getting pretty angry, huh?" she mused.
"Let's hope they stop here, and don't do anything more extreme." Fang replied. Suddenly, there was a loud crash! And someone screaming. As their eyes met, Fang and Max groaned loudly.
"Max!!" Nudge screamed. Max got up and started to run for the sounds of the screams, Fang following close behind. They passed the kitchen, but nothing was wrong in there. The living room was next, and Max spotted Nudge and Angel cowering behind the couch, a bit of Angel's white wing poking out and giving them away. She leapt in and knelt beside the two terrified girls, heart rate off the charts.
"What's wrong?" she hissed as Fang crouched down beside her. She spotted Gazzy and Iggy hiding behind the other sofa, as well as Ella using Iggy as a human shield. "What's going on? Where's Mom?"
"Look outside!" Total hissed, who had been hiding behind Angel. Max crept over to the window, keeping her head low, and gasped when she saw what was happening.
"What the- holy (insert swear word of your choice here)." Max half-heartedly whacked Fang's shoulder, but her eyes didn't leave the scene outside. Hundreds of people were milling outside the house- teenagers, adults, little kids... and they were all screaming and chanting together. Lots of them were holding banners and signs that said stuff like; 'Down with Hardwicke', 'Stop the madness!!' and 'How can R. Pattinson and K. Stewart even be CONSIDERED for the parts of Max and Fang!?'
Max's mouth dropped open as she saw her mother standing outside, arms waving madly as she shouted for the protestors to get off her lawn or she'd call the police.
"One of them threw a rock through the window, and that's when we screamed for you." Nudge explained. "They really don't want those actors to play you guys! I mean, I can't really blame them because that'd totally be a bad thing and stuff. Ooh, I wonder who she wants to play me? Hopefully not someone stupid or a bad choice like those actors, and-" Gazzy leapt over and clamped his hand over Nudge's mouth. Max smiled gratefully at him, and stood up.
"I'm going out there. This is kinda my business, after all." She announced, and headed for the door. Fang silently followed, as was his way. The others didn't protest- this was Max they were talking about. Max pushed open the door, feeling Fang's breath on her neck he was so close, and suddenly cheers and screams erupted around them. Max resisted the urge to cover her ears, and gave a little wave, a nervous smile on her face.
"Settle down, please, settle down!" she cried, and suddenly it became quiet. She gave a confused look to Fang and her Mom, both of them shrugging in reply. Okay, time to wing it.
"What are you doing here?" Max asked. The shouts started all over again, and she held up her hands. The crowds quietened and she sighed. This was too weird.
"Okay, one at a time. Why are you here?" she asked. She pointed quickly to one girl near the front, who smiled.
"Hi Max, Fang, Dr. M. I'm Rain." She said, and then gestured around her, "Myself and these good people are protesting. We're your fans. We're protesting because we don't want those actors to play you guys in your movie, which we're totally psyched for, by the way. As your fans, we believe we should have our voices heard, and you should take notice." She stepped back, having finished her speech, "Oh, and Iggy's cute." She grinned, and Max faintly heard Iggy's smug voice say; "Damn right I am."
"Okay... so why are you protesting here? Wait- how do you even know where 'here' is?" Max asked. Rain shrugged.
"I just followed the crowd."
"WE LOVE YOU FANG!" a few voices suddenly shrieked, and Max turned on her famous glare, directing it right at them. Needless to say, they soon quietened down.
"Well, can you get the heck off our lawn?" she asked tiredly. "Go protest to Catherine Hardwicke."
"We... uh... don't know where she lives..." Rain admitted. Fang sighed, and Max rolled her eyes. Dr. Martinez 'hmphed' indignantly.
"Well, you can't stay here. We appreciate your concern and everything, but..."
"STORM THE HOUSE!" someone screamed.
"WHY!?" came the reply.
"BECAUSE WE'RE SO ANGRY! RAWR!" Suddenly the fans were upon them. They bashed down the doorway and trampled Fang, Max and Dr. M in the process. Rain disappeared into the shadows, not wanting to be arrested with the rest of the mob. Max and the others lay on the ground, unconscious, and the mob chucked the other avian kids plus Total and Ella out to join them, while they took control of the house and had a wild party. Eventually Max and the gang moved back to Antarctica to live with the penguins. Bridget was not invited.
And that's what happens when Maximum Ride fans get angry about casting choices.
I veered off unexpectedly again. I just got a little bored- I'd made my point. :)
Saint, did ya see your mention? ^.^
Reviewers are cool. Way cooler than the sun, which is very hot.