Once Sakura left the room, Sasori made his way back to his own. He closed and locked the door behind him, not wanting anyone finding out about his "master plan".

He went over to his computer and went to Google. His wooden fingers gracefully danced across his keyboard as he typed in what he was searching for.

50 Ways To Piss Off Sakura

His eyes skimmed across the page and his smile grew wider with every number.

'Number one, Ask her why she BOTHERS chasing after Sasuke, when it's so obvious he's gay.'

Sakura read her list, trying to find the number she had stopped at.

'Number twenty-six. Remind him that he is the shortest member in the organization (make sure to call him Shorty).'

Sakura smirked.

She walked over to Sasori's room, only to find that the door was locked. The door was never locked.

Knock knock.

She waited ten seconds before knocking again.

Knock knock.

Another five seconds.

Knock knock.

Still, he didn't answer his door.


A very annoyed looking Sasori answered his door.

"What do you want, Sakura?"

"Nothing, Shorty. I just wanted to come in."

Sakura pushed past Sasori and stepped into his room. She plopped down onto his bed and gave him a little smile.


"Yes, Sakura..?"

"Did you know that you're the shortest member of the Akatsuki? I mean, next to me of course. But, doesn't that suck? Even Deidara is taller than you."

Sasori felt the urge to punch her in her pretty little face, but he didn't. Instead, he went along with his plan.



"Why did you ever bother chasing after Sasuke? He obviously wasn't going to like you,"

Sakura's face dropped. This was a sensitive subject.

"He...He could have liked me..."

"It's so obvious that he was gay." Sasori held back a smirk. While Sakura looked away, Sasori quickly read the next number on his list. 'Tell her she's completely useless.' Sasori thought about this for a second. He knew this would probably hurt her. But she'd been bothering him all day. The next number tied into the previous. 'If she denies it, show her all the clips where they actually SAY in the series that she's useless.'

"He wasn't gay!"

"He chose a pedophile snake-man over you. I'm pretty sure he's gay," Sasori gave her a look. "Either that, or he left because you were completely useless."

Sakura's eyes widened.

"I-I..." She sniffled. "I'm not... I'm not useless."

"Do you need me to show you the clips? Everybody said it."

"NO! No... Please don't show me any of the clips," She quickly read the next number on her list. 'Number twenty-seven. Call all his puppets ugly and say they are not art.'

"It seems like you need a reminder-"

"At least I'm sensible! I mean, have you seen your disgusting puppets? They're hideous! You call that shit art?" Sakura screamed at him, tears threatening to fall.

"WHAT did you just say?" Sasori growled. Sakura knew she was digging her own grave by now, but she wasn't stopping.

"I said that your puppets are ugly,"

Sasori skimmed down the list, looking for something to say to get back at her. 'Number six, tell her that her forehead is HUGE.'

"You're ugly," Sasori hissed at her. "Your forehead is huge. I don't understand why anyone would ever like you. That's probably why Sasuke left." As soon as it left his mouth, Sasori knew he'd made a mistake.

"I know..." She whispered.

Sasori strained his ears to hear her.


"I said... I know. I know I am,"

That genuinely surprised Sasori. He was expecting her to come back with a rebuttal. Instead, she agreed? Where was the real Sakura?


"I said-"

"I know what you said. I just thought you'd say something back..."

"No. You've hurt me enough."

With that, Sakura got up and left the room.

Sasori fought back the urge to go after her, but he knew if he did he'd seem soft.

He rethought his whole plan. Maybe this list was too cruel. Maybe he should just ignore the things she does to him. He had never meant to actually hurt her.

The next time she came in, he'd apologize.

Sakura sat on her bed, tears flowing from her eyes. Her tears were a mix of both sadness and anger.

'How could he say those things to me?' She asked herself. 'Why would he say those things to me?'

She would get him back, and she would get him back hard.

The "50 Ways to Piss Off Sakura" list is by ~sasodeioctembuary on deviantART.

I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while. And if this isn't as good as my other chapters, I apologize. I haven't been online in a while. I hope I didn't lose my touch.