Title: No eyes, no tears.
Pen Name: cabr
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AN: This is my first attempt at writing FF. This is pretty cannon except for the twist I needed to write the story . I also cannot stand the name Renesmee, so Nessie it is.
Los personajes no son mios.
My beautiful baby girl, my little Nessie, what are we going to do? We are vampires, we are virtually indestructible! How could this have happened?
I closed my eyes as I felt my baby touch my cheek gently with her little hand. It was such an amazing feeling. The only way I could bare to "see" what she showed me was with my eyes closed. An onslaught of sounds, smells and distant noises came to me. Everything this little girl had felt since the moment she was born. I could tell she was questioning our reactions and wondering about our quivering voices. She couldn't see how we all suffered for her. She couldn't see how beautiful her face was. She couldn't see the beauty of this world, of the trees, the river… But she felt, intensely.
Carlisle, Edward, Jasper and Rose had been researching high and low. The only viable conclusion is that our Nessie was born with Fraser's Syndrome. It is a very rare genetic disorder also known as crypthophtalmos because the eyes are located under a thick layer of skin. There are other malformations associated with this syndrome, such as webbing in the voice box. Nessie hasn't made any sounds since she was born a week ago so Carlisle is pretty sure that's what is going on. There appear to be no other problems with her. And we can tell from her gift that she can hear like a human instead of a vampire.
We don't know enough about children like Nessie—part human, part vampire—so we are not really sure of how she will develop. Carlisle thinks that her growth rate will make her full grown in about seven years. Will she grow old then? Will she die? Alice and Esme have gone down to Brazil, where there are rumors of children like her. So while we wait to see how we can best help her I've decided to let her enjoy life fully with her limitations. She can see the world through my eyes and I can experience her world through her gift.
"Let's go out and sit on the swing, OK? I can tell you what I see and you can tell me how you think it smells and sounds. Let's go, little one." I want to start telling her about the sky. It's almost twilight, her father's favorite time. But then I realize with great sorrow that she can't hear it, touch it, smell it or taste it. As I grow more and more agitated she touches me again. I close my eyes and hear the river in her mind. "That, Nessie, is the sound of the river. It's clear water flowing through a path made by it with the passage of time. There are boulders and trees surrounding it. Let me take you to it." I walk at vampire speed to the edge of the water and crouch so that she can feel the water in her fingers. She immediately puts them in her mouth and touches me again. To my surprise the combination of her perceptions of the water is exactly how I feel the river. I could also tell she made out a greenish brown environment in her mind. It looked like a blurry Impressionist painting. "That's right, baby girl, it is so cool and refreshing."
I sit there and a remote melody comes to me. I start humming "Down to the river to pray" I find it very strange that I would remember this particular song. I was never particularly religious, and we are immortal demons after all. But Nessie interrupts my thoughts with her little hand. I feel immediately that the song has touched her heart. There are faint colors whirling in her mind. I continue humming and start showing her other things around us. We experience the rocks, the dirt, and the leaves, and grass together. It is a very peaceful experience. Nessie gets a clearer picture of the river, and the colors are still whirling to the rhythm of the melody.
We are enjoying the river when Edward shows up. "Yes, Nessie I can see the river too. You are imagining it very well." He smiles at me because he can see in Nessie's thoughts that we have had a lovely evening. "Let me take her, love. I want to play some piano for her."
I go up to our bedroom and lie in bed for a few moments closing my eyes. Things hadn't started smoothly for us. Looking back I knew when I'd felt the need to make things right. To make sure we could be happy and whole.
I had woken after three days in hell—literally. No one had explained accurately to me how horrendous the burning sensation of the transformation would be. And everyone was panicked and in chaos. I was so thirsty I couldn't think about anything else. But once I quenched my thirst in the forest with my Edward I realized something was horribly wrong. We sat for a while in our meadow and he started slowly, with sorrowful honey colored eyes.
"We really don't understand what happened…there is not enough information to know what…Nessie is partially human. She has inherited our feeding habits, the marble like skin, and she even has a gift, a really astounding gift." He looked at me. I knew the next part was the one I wanted to hear the most and dreaded to hear the most…
"Please, Edward! I need to know what's wrong. I know something is wrong with my baby girl."
I stood up and sprinted across the meadow. I knew I would be faster than him. But my clumsiness was still there. I tripped—very gracefully—on a tiny root and Edward caught me before I could continue.
"Stop! You need to listen and you need to understand." If he could have cried he would be balling. His throat constricted and produced an agonizing sound. "She has no eyes Bella! Our Nessie is blind! She is growing at an alarming rate so we are really not sure of what to do. Carlisle thinks it is Fraser's Syndrome. She also cannot make any sounds. We ran some tests and nothing else appears to be wrong, but she is so different from us, and she really isn't human either…"
Now it was my turn to cry, "Edward, what do you mean? No eyes? How is that possible! I knew something was wrong with me. There must have been some gene or something in my DNA that caused this. So there are no eyes under her eyelids? Will we be able to do something about it?"
He looked at me with great tenderness knowing exactly how I felt. I was extremely upset. He came close and embraced me whispering in my ear, "It is not all bad, love. She is otherwise healthy and her gift might be a healing force to her. We are hoping that Carlisle can remove the webbing in her throat and she will be able to speak. She is extremely intelligent. She is already trying to make images in her head of what she feels. When I said she didn't have eyes I wasn't totally clear. She has very underdeveloped eyes under a thick membrane of skin. And it is our impression that she can make out colors and light and darkness very faintly. You'll see when you let her touch you with her gift. "
"You've mentioned this gift several times. Tell me about it." I sat down again, preparing myself for more.
"It is quite interesting. When she touches us she is able to transmit all the feelings and sounds, the smells and textures of things that have surrounded her since birth. I imagine if she could see it would be like watching a movie in your brain, a movie that Nessie directs and edits herself. As it is it feels very surreal, like you are blindfolded and your other senses are extremely eager."
I had started feeling the constriction in my throat, which I knew indicated that I was crying. Why would my little baby have to suffer like that? How could this have happened to us? Wasn't it enough to go through a dreadful pregnancy? What did my sacrifice mean, when I couldn't give everything to my child? I closed my eyes for a few moments and stood up. I wanted to feel what she felt. I wanted to know how it would be to be in darkness. I wanted to see how it felt. I started walking and stumbled, and stumbled, and stumbled, and stumbled, and then I fell…
Later that day as I held my baby close to my silent heart for the very first time; as I looked at her little face, and felt her warmth against my stony cold skin I swore I wouldn't let her fall. I would help her see; I would help her take advantage of her tearless life. We would provide a loving home to this little miracle. She would be happy, we would be all right.
AN/ Link to the song "Down to the river to pray" sung by Alison Kraus www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=MhEPLuLKyL8&feature=related