A/N: TwiPuppetProductions presents….Twilight!!! Me and my friends are planning to make a Twilight video with sock puppets on YouTube. This is the script I wrote for it. Yes, me. Prepare to be shocked by the way I can turn a perfectly sane(ish) book into this monstrosity. =)
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Stephenie Meyer does. But if I did own it, this is what it would look like:
Scene 1: Outside Renee's house
Bella: *Sniffs* Goodbye Mom, I'll really miss you!
Renee: Yeah, yeah, me too. Your cab's here, goodbye. Me'n'Phil gotta go party.
(Bella gets into a cab and drives off. Renee and her husband Phil start dancing)
Renee: (sings) Oh yeah, oh yeah, she's gone, she's gone!!! Woohoo!!!
Phil: Ahh, my back!!!!
Scene 2 : Outside Charlie's house
Bella: Hi Dad!
Charlie: Hi Bella. I got you a really crap truck so all the people at school will laugh at you on your first day. Oh, and by the way, you'll be doing all the cooking, cleaning and laundry from now on while I lie on the couch watching baseball and drinking beer. I want you to be happy in this shitty town.
(Charlie goes inside.)
Bella: Umm, happy, yeah…Ooh, a truck! Let me try it out!
(Bella climbs into her new truck and starts reversing. Something goes bump under the wheels.)
Bella: Oops, sorry Jake. Never mind, broken legs'll heal pretty fast. Besides, you're only the first person I've run over this week. Usually it's three or four! Well, I'll see you around!
Jacob: (Dazed) She loves me! Oh yeah, a two ton truck just crushed my legs. Erk…. (collapses)
Scene 3: The cafeteria
Bella: (sees Cullens) Who are they?
Jessica: They're the Cullens. Duh.
Bella: Who's the boy who's staring at me?
Jessica: WHAT??? HE'S STARING AT YOU??? WHAT THE F…I mean, that's Edward Cullen….mutter mutter she's not even pretty mutter.
Bella: (Dreamily) He's hot!
Jessica: I know that, idiot.
(Both girls get up and walk towards the door. Bella trips and ends up with a faceful of spaghetti.)
Scene 4: Biology class
(Bella walks into classroom before promptly falling over)
Teacher: Sit here, Miss Swan.
(Bella sits down in the seat beside…Edward Cullen!!!)
Bella: Hi, I'm Bella Swan. You must be Edward Cullen.
Bella: Do I smell bad or something? Come on, I had a shower just a month ago!
(Return of the Awkward Silence)
Bella: Fine, Be that way! Humph!
Mike: Hey Bella! We're going tot the beach in La Push Saturday. You wanna come?
Bella: Okay. (Bella shrugs, then falls off her seat)
Okay, that's the first four scenes. I'll write one Microsoft Word page worth of script each time, because I only type with two fingers and right now I think my hand's going to fall off. Please review, this is my first fic, so I'd like to know if I should consider writing for reading. =)