Author's notes: These are outtakes from my "Masks" universe that wouldn't play nice and fit into the story. Some are alternate endings to scenes, some are pure crack, some are back story I couldn't work in. You may wish to read that story as some of these may (or may not) make better sense after having read it.
Bee and Grimlock, fighting, was incredible mismatch.
Sam watched from the bleachers as the two circled one another. The top of Bee's head came up to Grimlock's hip in protoform -- in badass dinosaur alt mode, Bee was shoulder height to Grim. But Grimlock was faster, far more powerful, and far nastier in disposition than Bumblebee, and they both knew it. So did Sam, and he hoped this was not as serious of a fight as it appeared. Bee's only advantage was speed.
On the other hand, Bee was the one who'd initiated this match. Sam had seen it happen -- Grimlock had shoved past Bee a little too roughly, with not quite enough respect for Bee's personal space, when entering the main hangar. Bee had wordlessly planted a foot in Grimlock's aft end, nearly knocking Grimlock down. Grimlock had whirled -- and Bee's battle mask had clicked down and he'd made a "come and get me" gesture with his hands.
Ratchet had said, mildly, "If you two are going to kill each other, do it outside."
And Bee had promptly belted out of his speakers:
"Jurassic Park is frightening in the dark, All the dinosaurs are running wild!"
"Grimlock SMASH him little bot!" Grimlock had announced, grabbing for Bee, who had dodged and ran out the door -- but only as far as the pavement in front of the hangar. There, Bee had spun and waited, crouched, eyes glittering bright blue through the shield of his battle mask.
"Someone let T. Rex out of his pen, I'm afraid those things'll harm me, 'Cause they sure don't act like Barney, And they think that I'm their dinner, not their friend! OH NO!"
Weird Al Yankovic's voice was probably one of the stranger things that Sam had ever heard Bee pipe through his speakers, though Sam had noted Bee had recently discovered They Might Be Giants, so he figured it could potentially be a lot weirder.
Sam watched from the bleachers beside the hangar now as the fight -- really, a game of keep-away, with Bee dancing just out of reach -- continued. Bee, not even trying to engage Grimlock, ducked and spun and dodged, and continued to harass the dinobot in song.
"Jurassic Park is frightening in the dark, All the dinosaurs are running wild, What a crummy weekend this has been ..."
"Bee! Grimlock!" Optimus's voice held considerable amusement. "Please do not kill each other, I would have to complete the paperwork."
Bee glanced up as Optimus stepped out of the doorway of the hangar. Bumblebee's battlemask flipped back up, he grinned, shot a human-style salute at his leader, and then informed Grimlock in song, "Well, this sure ain't no E-ticket, Think I'll tell them where to stick it, 'Cause I'm never coming back this way again ... Oh no... oh no!"
Bee took off running with the larger 'bot in hot pursuit. Sam was relieved to hear burbling Cybertronian laughter from Bee as they disappeared around a corner of the hanger.
Optimus said, mildly, and without any oncern, "One of these days, Grimlock is actually going to catch him."
"Would Grim hurt him?"
"Not fatally," Optimus chuckled. "However, Grimlock is well aware that Bumblebee is ticklish."