Me: Hello dear readers! So this is my first time writing a humorous fic, so please tell me how I do.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
Sai was in his room painting a picture of the scenery that could be seen from his small window when something made a small tapping noise from his window. He paused in his painting and looked towards his window to find a messenger bird perched on the branch closest to his house.
He set his painting utensils down and opened the window, letting the bird come in and land on his desk. He took the letter from the bird's right leg and read it, noticing it came from Anbu Roots. He then looked over to the bird and took the package out of its mouth and quickly wrote a reply before securely tying it to the bird's leg.
He left his house and started walking down the road while reading the letter over again. He suddenly felt a familiar chakra behind him and looked over his shoulder to see Kakashi standing there.
"Hey Sai, what do you got there?" Kakashi asked trying to look at the paper.
"Eh? Nothing," Sai said trying to move the paper further away resulting in Kakashi going in front of him.
"It looks like something," Kakashi said eyeing the paper as it went behind Sai's back.
Kakashi went behind Sai and before he knew it, Sai swiped the paper across Kakashi's right hand that was trying to grab it.
"Ah, you heartless boy!" Kakashi wailed cradling his hand. "That was my reading hand. Ahhh, Gai, Gai I lost my youthfulness," Kakashi cried running down the street. "Gai, help me!!!!!! Get Anko!!!! AH, MY YOUTHFULNESS IS GONE!"
Sai looked down at the letter in his hand before he fished out the package that was in his pants pocket. Upon opening the box, he started to laugh maniacally while pulling out the item. He stopped short when he noticed the person the letter was referring to walking down the street.
He quickly masked his chakra and began following the blond haired, whiskered face boy down the street. The letter was now stuffed in his pocket and he held the item that was in the package tightly in his hand.
Naruto walked into the ramen shop and Sai entered, hiding in the corner of the shop. While Naruto was waiting for his meal, Sai was making sure to get a good aim on his target.
Then the item in his hand fell just as he was about to throw it at Naruto. 'Damn spork,' thought Sai as he picks it up, getting ready to hit Naruto again. Just as he pitched it, Naruto ducked to eat some of his food making the spork hit the wall which caused it to stay there.
Sai cursed inwardly and waited for Naruto to leave so he could get the spork that was embedded in the wall. After retrieving it he followed Naruto who went to visit Sakura at the hospital.
He heard Naruto's loud booming voice greet her before she mentioned that she had to leave because she was going somewhere with Sasuke later. When Naruto was not facing Sakura anymore, Sai threw the eating utensil that he had with as much force as he could muster; but it missed because Naruto shifted a little before he left.
He followed Naruto through the busy part of the village and Sai watched as Naruto went into what looked like a pound. He jumped up onto a tree branch and looked as Naruto conversed with a girl that looked about twenty-two. Sai decided to wait until Naruto came out before trying to kill him with the spork. 'Who in the world uses a spork to kill someone?' Sai thought boredly watching as Naruto waved goodbye.
Sai was on the move again and once again Naruto stopped to talk to someone. Sai watched as Kakashi cried to Naruto explaining what happened and then out of nowhere Gai came out crying while saying, "Why must Kakashi's youthfulness be gone?"
While they all were distracted, Sai took this as a sign to attack and threw the spork at Naruto, aiming for his head. Sai watched as the object grew closer and closer to plunging Naruto's head and he was filled with excitement; but it didn't last long because Rock Lee then came and started crying and then pulled everyone in a group hug, thus making the spork missed Naruto's head by an inch.
'Ugh, why? Why can't this piece of iron hit him? Is there really a ramen god? Is he/she protecting that idiot? Hear me, why won't you let me stab him? Why can't I just get that piece of iron to hit him? Why?' Sai cried inwardly, looking to the sky above.
He sighed defeated and picked up the cursed eating utensil. He trudged along following Naruto through the training grounds. He watched as the blonde took out a kunai and turn to the tree that was mere inches away from him. He took this chance to sneakily walk up to Naruto. Just as he was about to plunged the item where Naruto's heart was, he heard someone calling to Naruto which made him stealthily jump into the tree above.
He watched as Naruto talked with Hinata before they both walked out of the training fields. Sai followed from a far distance and watched as Naruto and Hinata part ways.
He stopped as Naruto slowed down. He saw him took a silver object out of his pocket and he heard laughter. "Well, Ero-Sennin isn't here and I'm sure he wouldn't mind me helping him on his research," Naruto said walking up to the hotsprings. Sai watched as he saw Naruto taking pictures of whoever was in there.
This was his last chance and he knew it. He leapt up into the tree that was on the side of the building and threw the spork for the last time. He watched the item cutting through the wind heading towards its target.
"Eh? What's this?" Naruto said as he bent down to the floor. "100 yen? My lucky day," Naruto said before picking it up.
Sai looked at the object and the floor and rushed to pick it up. He was now facing Naruto's back as Naruto was bending down still.
Just as he was about to stab it through Naruto, he heard voices coming out of the hotsprings. "Look, I bet he was the one that was taking pictures of us," one woman yelled pointing at Sai.
"Yeah, let's get him," another said.
Sai looked at the angry women, thinking that they where not as scary as Ugly; but he decided to run anyway, but he only ending up tripping over Naruto which sent the spork that was in his hands in the air landing a few feet from him.
Just as it hit the ground, he was surrounded by angry women wearing towels. And thus he was beaten up pretty bad by the two or three dozen women that were there; and the letter that was in his pocket was in the air being blown away by the wind.
Naruto was oblivious to the scene behind him and he picked up the money and started to walk away when he felt something land on his head.
"Oh, cool. This is the letter for the spork that I ordered last week. Now I can try to eat ramen with it," he said reading it while walking. His feet stepped on something and he noticed that it was the spork he ordered.
"Hey, they even put my name on it! I can't wait to show Hinata-chan!" he said running off.
"Wait, so that letter didn't want me to kill Naruto?" Sai questioned before receiving another hit to the head.
Me: Bleh. I don't know how good it was. Like I said my first time trying a humor fic. Well, review and tell me what you think. Help me know what to improve so that I might be able to write better humor fics. Well Ja ne!