In class today we're supposed to write letters to our mommy's for Mother's Day. I told Ms. Jane that I couldn't write one because you're in Elysium now. She said I should write it anyway. I told her I didn't know what to write about and she said to just write whatever I'm thinking.
I miss you, Mommy. A lot. Everybody does. I think Daddy misses you the most, though. He pretends not to be sad but I know he is.
I can't sleep anymore. Cause you used to tell me stories and sing me songs but your gone now, so you can't, and I can't sleep without it. Daddy tries but it's not the same. When I can't sleep I wait till it gets real dark, then I sneak into your closet. I know I'm not supposed to go in there, but it smells like lilacs and springtime and you and it helps.
One time, Daddy was there too. He didn't say anything so I sat in his lap like I used to with you. I cried a lot. Daddy did too. I kissed his forehead like you always do when I'm sad. He said it helped but I think he lied.
Daddy says that when I get sad, I should think of all the happy times I had with you, and it'll make me happy.
Remember, when we went to the fair and we rode on the merry-go-round so many times that when we got off we fell over. It was really funny. Then you bought me a giant lollypop that was bigger than my head. It was rainbow and the colors went round and round and round and it made me dizzy just like the merry-go-round.
And, and remember that time, Mommy, when we went to the beach and I made sandcastles with my bucket. The pink one with the princesses. I wanted to put water it the moat cause every castle has to have a moat. But every time I filled the bucket and went back, the water was gone. I tried lots of times but it kept being empty. I showed you and you said that it had a hole in the bottom. You said you'd buy me a new one but I didn't want a new one.
I started to cry and you told me that I was Amazon just like you, and that Amazons don't cry about silly things. Then we got ice cream and when we got home you put tape on my bucket and fixed it so it was all better again.
Don't you remember, Mommy?
I try to think about the happy things, but they don't make me happy. I just feel empty inside just like my princess bucket. Maybe I've got a hole too. Maybe all the happy is going strait through me. But your gone so who's supposed to fix me and make me better?
I haven't been happy in a long time. The last time I was happy was the day before you went to Elysium. We went to the circus. I didn't want to go. I wanted to go to the movies but you said we couldn't. When I asked why you said cause Daddy doesn't like movie theaters. I asked why but you wouldn't say and it made me mad cause no one ever tells me things cause I'm so little. I hate being little. Maybe if I wasn't so little I could've helped you and you wouldn't be gone.
The circus was really fun anyway. They had elephants and clowns and people who walked on ropes real high in the air. Daddy said Dick was in the circus once and I didn't believe him but then you said it was true and I believed you. You never lie.
But you did lie once, Mommy. When Grandpa Alfred went to Elysium I asked you why. You said it was because he needed to go. But I didn't understand cause we needed him here. You promised that as long as I needed you, you would never leave but you did and I still need you. So you lied. I still need you, Mommy. Why did you go?
That was the last time I was happy. Cause then Timmy and Dick picked me up from school which I thought was funny. It was a Wednesday and you always pick me up on Wednesdays. I asked them where you were and they didn't say. Cause they thought I was too little to understand but I did. Sometimes I wish I didn't.
You didn't have a funeral like Grandpa Alfred did. Instead Grandma Hippolyta came with your Sisters and took you back to Themyscira. They only let me and Daddy come. (Uncle Clark was really mad. So he threw a special party just for you. The whole world went, Mommy. That's how much they love you. I love you too. There's a statue of you right in the middle of Gotham. It's really pretty and we drive past it all the time. When I look at it I get that hollow feeling and I wish it was you standing there instead.)
Grandma put you in a really pretty blanket that was purple and blue and green and red all at the same time. She said a prayer to Lady Hera and Athena and Artemis and all our other goddesses. Then she lit it on fire. It was so pretty, Mommy. I can't remember how long we were there watching the smoke go up and up. And for some reason it made me real sad watching that smoke cause that was all I had left of you and it was disappearing into nothing.
And when I started to cry, I tried to imagine you there telling me, just like you used to, "Don't cry, my little sun and stars," you would say. "You are an Amazon and a warrior. We do not cry over silly things like this." I tried to hear your voice but I couldn't get it right. And I know you don't want me to be sad but I'll never hear your voice again and you'll never smile again and you'll never sing me to sleep again. I know I shouldn't cry, Mommy, but it hurts so bad.
You say that we don't cry over silly things, but silly things are supposed to be funny. And not ever seeing you again isn't funny at all. It's not silly at all.
Ms. Jane says it's time to clean up now. But there's still more I want to tell you. I'll go with Daddy to your tree today. Since you don't have a stone like Grandma and Grandpa and Alfred, we put all the flowers by the pussy willow tree instead (They're lilacs cause those are your favorites). Remember the tree, Mommy? Remember how much you used to love that tree? Do you still love it, Mommy? Do you still love me?
I'll put this card by the pussy willow tree. Maybe if I pray real hard the gods will blow a great, big wind to carry it down to Elysium. If you get this letter, will you send me one back? And maybe send Daddy one too, cause he still loves you more than anything. I do too.
I have to go now. I miss you.
Your little Sun and Stars
P.S. Uncle Clark and Aunty Lois had the baby. It was a girl. They named it Diana after you. She's really cute and sometimes I pretend she's the little sister that you said was gonna come. Is she in Elysium with you? If she is tell her I'm real sorry I never got to meet her and I'm sure she would've been the best baby sister in the whole world.
P.P.S. Even if you don't get this letter, I'll love you for always and forever, Mommy. I promise.