How Much I Love You- Chapter 1- I love you my wife

"Oh Bella. I hope you are in no pain. You aren't screaming. That's a good sign. I really really really hope you are not in pain. You know your pain hurts me just as much.

I love you so much Bella. So so so much. I'm just so glad I was able to change you though. I don't know what in the world I would do without you. You are my world, my life, my soul. I would die without you. But we both know that after I did the STUPIDEST thing anyone has ever done in eternity and left you. Well, maybe not the STUPIDEST thing….that prize would probably go to the idiot who changed Aro. But, I my incident was a close second.

Anyway, we both know after that time that I would die if I was without you.

You know, you have shown me there is a heaven. So I guess, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. I would then be able to still be with you there. But then I would always feel so guilty about leaving our daughter behind. Leaving her in the overbearing hands of Rose, and the childish hands of Emmett, and then just Jacob…….. Oh, and I know you would have hated just how much Alice would influence her shopping. But I guess the other's would be ok….But then she would have to live with knowing that Mommy died for her and Daddy killed himself because Mommy died.

But, that will never happen. I will never let anything hurt you. Ever. And now, it will be a lot harder for that to happen.

So I know you know about the car, the Mercedes Guardian…. I know you are not happy about that. I know you think I spent too much money on it. But, I can't say I am sorry because, your safety is worth it. And I think you will finally start seeing that as we see our daughter grow up. Well at least I hope you will start to understand that way…

Did you know I was able to change you without hurting the treaty because of Jake? He gave me permission as the Alpha to change you. Man does he have other things to tell you when you wake up though…. But, that isn't important now.

Bella. I am so happy you are my wife. So so happy. I think I know why they made the word for a woman that is married to a man his wife because it is a lot like life. You are my wife that is my life.

I have learned so much since you became a large part of my life. You brought back human feelings in me. Adoration, Jealousy, worthiness, unworthiness, self-conscious, and so so many more.

You know, I loved you from the first second I saw you, even though I may have not admitted it to myself, I know I did. I had to have or else I don't think I would have come back to Forks, come back to school, come back to biology. You know, it will be a great story, and the only true one of my family, of how we met. That will be easier for you, with your lack of the ability to lie.

I hope you will finally be able to see how truly beautiful you are when you wake up. With your new vampire looks you will be stunning. I already loved how you looked, you were the most beautiful thing on this planet, but it looks like that bar has just been raised, because now you are absolutely breath-taking. I am now only worried about the boys at school, and all the more of the thoughts I will have to endure of envious guys. That will be so much fun. But at least now you are all mine and hopefully those idiot teenagers will see that and won't even try to get you.

I love you so much Love. I don't even think you know how much I love you. You might understand once you are one of us…. You might love me back just as much… I know you love me with all of yourself….But when you are one of us you have more room in your head…You will see.

We will have such a great life together now… the nights together….finally being able to let ourselves go and not have to be careful….And the days with our family and with our daughter. And we will have forever to love each other and be together.

We will have new adventures and journeys. We will travel the world once you are in control enough and see everything worth seeing. We don't have to fly across the ocean we can swim if you like. We can scuba dive deeper than any human. Will go on a second honeymoon!

We will have multiple weddings and multiple honeymoons actually. But I was thinking a second honeymoon soon would be nice. A real honeymoon, where we will just shut ourselves in all day and make love. And I know it will be better than the times before because from what I have heard from my sisters and brothers in their minds will say it… And this time I won't have to hold back. You will be able to have all of me. And I will just be able to relax and let go. That will be nice. I can't wait to see you when you wake up. To hear how your voice will sound, how you will look vertically. I know you will "love" the clothes Alice will put you in…. I haven't seen them… But I know they will be something fancy with high heels. Just what you hate. I am sorry about that Love. Alice is going to nitpick you all day and night about your outfits and what you wear. It looks like you will just have to listen to her if you want her off your back… But, just to let you know, heels won't be a problem for you anymore. You will have perfect balance and won't be a klutz anymore. I will miss that a little bit about you. I won't have to protect you, keep you upright, keep you from tripping on air. But I do have to say it will be a relief to not always have to have an eye on you. Ha-ha.

I will have to write more to your lullaby… or maybe I will just make a new one. I know the original will always be your favorite. But, I think I will make another one, to describe you now, in the new chapter of your life. I got the tune already starting in my head. I'm going to go play it out. Try to work on it while I have got it fresh in my mind.

I will come back as soon as I get that done. I promise. I love you my Bella, my life, my Love.