A/N: HEY READERS!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING BACK OR JUST PICKING THIS UP!

This is another Emmett chapter! I couldn't resist to put in more Vampire Jokes… I had come up with the two or three was it in the chapter before and had fun with it… and then I was intrigued as to what other Vampire jokes were out there…. So I googled vampire jokes and found some and then the last 2 twilight jokes at the end I also googled for! I made up a couple in here too just so you know… I also dragged out all my joke books from when I was a kid and looked through them for anything good. I know most of these jokes suck…..buttttt as Emmett will say later…. Well YOU WILL SEE! That is also my opinion on these…

OK so I hope you enjoy this chapter! This is my Beta's favorite chapter! She thought this one was more CLASSIC than the last one soooo I hope you like it!!!!!! Please review and tell me what you think!!! It means the world to me! Also while on that topic THANK YOU SO MUCH TO THOSE OF YOU WHO REVIEWED! They all meant soooo much! Thank you to bini4621 for your anonymous reviews! They meant a lot to me today!

Here are the links to the jokes in this chapter and also to some good twilight ones so CHECK THEM OUT!

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.com/2008/07/14/twilight-jokes/

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.com/topic/show/111400-twilight-jokes

DISCLAIMER: I do not own twilight or the characters or any of the recognizable jokes in this chapter!

HERE IS THE CHAPTER! ENJOY AND SEE YOU AT THE BOTTOM!

How Much I Love you- chapter 4- I'm gonna make you smile

***Emmett's POV***

"Guess what Bella! I found some more jokes online and in some old books!!!!

Would you like to hear them? OF COURSE YOU WOULD! Why wouldn't you not want to have a laugh!

So what kind of ship does Dracula own?

A blood vessel!!!! Hahahahaha that's funny cuz he sucks blood … and yeahhhh… it sucked …

Oooo what about this one?

Why does nobody like Count Dracula?

Because he is a pain in the neck!!! Ha-ha! Get it cuz he bites peoples necks? Ha … ha … ok next one …

Why does Dracula consider himself a good artist?

Because he DRAWS BLOOD! Hahahaha! That's funnnyyyyyy! Ok these suck … but they are funny because they are so terrible. I am just going to read them off for you … my commentating sucks anyways … so I will just read these corny jokes to you.

What do you get when you cross a vampire with a computer?

A know-it-all, that's really a pain in the neck.

OH MY GOSH! IT SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE EDWARD!!!!! HE MUST BE PART COMPUTER!!!! NO WONDER YOU FELL IN LOVE! TEENAGERS ARE OBSESSED WITH THEIR COMPUTERS THESE DAYS! PRACTICALLY IN LOVE! SO THAT MUST MEAN YOUR ARE OBSESSED WITH EDWARD!!! OW EDWARD!!!!! YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO CHUCK A BOOK AT MY HEAD! I WAS JUST KIDDING!

Anyway … what does a weight-conscious vampire drink?

Blood Light. Ha-ha.

What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A neck-tarine! Ha-ha-ha!

Where do vampires go on holiday ?

The Isle of Fright!

We go to the Isle Esme!!!!! But Esme isn't frightening … but still that one was close to our lives!

What did the vampire say to the wolfman?

Jacob?

OK I'm kidding! It's you STINK!

Ok … I'm kidding again it's really …

You look like you're going to the dogs!

What's a vampire's favourite animal?

A giraffe!

I have never tried giraffe … I wonder how that tastes … it should taste good … I mean they do have such a long neck! Ha-ha-ha but then … they are herbivores, and those tend to not taste as good …

Anyway.

Where does Dracula keep his money?

In a blood bank!

What did Dracula call his daughter?

Bloody Mary!

Poor girl … named after an alcoholic drink …

What is red, sweet, and bites people?

A Jampire!!

What do you think of Dracula's films?

They are Fangtastic!

What is a vampire's favorite dessert?

Bloodberry pie And I-scream!

Why did the other kids have to let the vampire play baseball?

It was his bat.

Why did the vampire quit the baseball team?

They would only let him be BAT boy!

Ok the only reason I read those was because they had baseball in them …

Why is it that Vampires are always so good at everything?

Their victims had the talents in their blood.

HAHAHA

That's pretty much it … except I do have a couple I came up with on my own …

How do you stop Jacob Black from attacking you?

You pick up a stick, throw it and yell 'fetch'!

BAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! ISN'T IT GREAT?! Ok … so I know you don't like us picking on Jacob … but you have to say that is HILARIOUS!

OK OK I got another good one!!!!! This one is GREAT!

What do Edward and a Christmas tree have in common?

Their balls are for decoration!!!!!!

BAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

AHHHH NO EDWARD NOT AGAIN!!!!!

BYE BELLS! HOPE YOU LIKED MY JOKES! SEE YOU LATER!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHH! AGAIN THE WINDOW! OOMPH! AHHHHH NO EDWARD STOP!!!! IT WAS A JOKE!!! SERIOUSLY!!!!!! I KNOW IT'S NOT TRUE!!! HOW ELSE IS RENESMEE ALIVE!!!! OW! OW! OW!!!! STOPPPP!!!!

NO DON'T YOU DARE MAKE MY BALLS DECORATION!!! NOOO!!!! ROSALIE HELP!!!! THEY ARE AS MUCH USE TO YOU AS THEY ARE TO ME!!!!! HELPPPPP!!!!! ANYBODY!!!!!!

OWWWW!!!! EDWARD!!!!!!!"

A/N: SO WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THAT ENDING?! CLASSIC RIGHT?!

Please tell me what you think in a review!!! PLEASE!!!!!!! IM BEGGING YOU!!! IM ON MY KNEES!!!! I AM GIVING YOU THE PUPPY DOG FACE!!!!!! I HAVE A BIG ICE CREAM SUNDAE WITH A CHERRY ON TOP!!!!!!!

It would be the best thing in the world to get reviews on this…. And if I don't get that many reviews or at least if I don't get some great reviews I don't think I will continue this any farther…. I am not getting much of a response out of it….so I don't see the point…. Please drop a line and tell me you really like it and really want me to continue if you think so…. It doesn't take that long…. Really it doesn't…. even if you are anonymous! I don't care! Just review!!! Please!!!!!