The Way I Loved You
A Grey's Anatomy fic by Gigi
Disclaimer: I really own nothing.
Chapter 3: Coming Undone
A/N: Alas, my friends, we have reached the end of this story. Have you noticed, this is only the fourth time that has happened for me? I just gave up on a few stories from my first year of writing (2005) and now I'm finishing my fourth story after four years. Anyway, it's been sweet, and this was possibly one of my favorite fics to write. I hope you guys enjoy this last chapter!
"I was in love with someone else," he confessed, looking Addison directly in the eye.
Addison leaned on one leg and put her hand on her hip in exasperation. She closed her eyes and bit her lip, struggling to control the outburst that threatened to explode from her. Taking a deep, calming breath, she returned his gaze. "Who is it this time?"
Before either of them knew what was happening, Derek's lips were on hers. His fingers tangled themselves in her hair, and he felt her hands grasp his forearms softly as she began to kiss him back. It was their first kiss in almost two years, but all those old feelings were still there. Derek wrapped his arms around Addison in a passionate embrace, and his lips never left hers. The rain fell on both their heads, but neither of them minded. Some of their best moments had happened in the rain.
Almost the same group—except for Derek—that had watched Addison exit the Town Car and enter Seattle Grace for the first time in a year had assembled to watch Addison and Derek duke it out in the courtyard. When Addison began to walk inside, faces fell. They'd expected a bigger finish to such a scene, but—no! She turned around.
"What are they fighting about?" Izzie asked Alex as she walked up to the group.
Alex shot her a guilty look. "Me," he confessed.
Izzie never got the chance to ask anything further about that, because her attention was brought back to the couple in the rain when she heard a collective gasp emit from the group.
Derek was kissing Addison. Derek was kissing Addison. Derek was kissing Addison. Derek was kissing Addison.
Derek was kissing Addison?
No matter how she said it in her head, Izzie couldn't quite fathom what she was seeing. What she could fathom was Meredith Grey standing right in front of her, shell-shocked.
Addison was completely gone. The second his lips were on hers, all thought flew out the window. When he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her flush against his body, she could do nothing but tilt her head and deepen the kiss. Okay, she probably could have done something else, but she didn't want to do anything other than keep the kiss going on forever.
She brought her hands up to the nape of his neck, running her fingers through his dark, wavy locks. His tongue slipped into her mouth and made Addison's knees buckle. Fortunately for both of them, Derek was already holding her so tightly that Addison's sudden inability to stand didn't really affect them that much.
And then Addison was back. Her eyes still shut, she used the grip she hand on his hair to pull his face from hers. Breaking the embrace, she looked down at the ground and allowed the rain to separate them once more.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, still avoiding looking at his face. "I can't, Derek."
"Addison," Derek pleaded. He placed a hand on Addison's chin and made her look at him. "Addison, please."
"I'm sorry!" she sobbed. She squeezed shut her eyes and turned her back to him, almost running through the rain to the hospital.
The automatic doors opened for Addison as she approached them, holding the back of her hand up to her nose, trying to stem the flow of emotion that had already begun spilling out. Tears ran freely down her cheeks, and her breathing hitched. Once inside the hospital, Addison glanced up to see the group of people standing there and paused.
Mark and Alex both crumbled on the inside at seeing the despair swimming in Addison's pale blue eyes as she stared at them over her hand. They only saw her eyes for a second, until Addison shut them once again and made for the attendings' locker room. Mark started to go after her when he felt a hand on his elbow.
"I'll go," Callie declared before following her forlorn friend.
Addison threw herself at the swinging door to the attendings' locker room, wanting to shut herself away as quickly possible. As soon as she was inside, the sobs began ripping out of her body, and she buried herself in the farthest corner from the door, weeping into her knees.
She couldn't handle this right now. She had a boyfriend, who was sweet, sensible, dependable, good-looking and just overall incredible. But she'd been dreaming of her ex-husband and kissing in the rain so much it was like she was already cheating on Kevin before she even came up to Seattle.
And this time it wasn't a dream. It was a nightmare.
Addison went over it and over it in her head, but that only served to make her cry even harder. She had let herself get too close. Again. She had let herself get hurt. Again. Only this time she had been the one who hurt herself.
A hand slid its way across her back and pulled her into a warm, familiar body. Addison buried her face in the long black hair of the ortho resident as Callie rubbed her back and made soothing sounds.
"I just...he just...and then he...and I...but...but I can't....I can't...and then there's Kevin...and I...I don't know..." she stammered, unable to even finish a single sentence due to the sobs racking her body.
"Sh..." Callie soothed. "I know. It'll all be okay."
Addison stepped off the plane at LAX thoroughly depressed. She hadn't seen Derek since their encounter in the rain, and she left the next day as soon as she could leave Adele. She was surprised to see Kevin standing at baggage claim, waiting for her with a smile on his face.
Addison put on a brave face for him, but his happy expression soon turned into one of concern when he saw her puffy eyes.
"What happened? Are you okay?" he questioned, worry lacing his voice.
Shaking her head, Addison walked past Kevin to get her bags from the carousel. "I don't want to talk about it," she told him. "I would really rather just forget it." Kevin looked like he wanted to press further, but one glance at her face was enough to forestall him. He nodded and took her Louis Vuitton luggage from her.
Later that night, Addison lay curled up in the center of her bed, having sent Kevin home an hour earlier. She couldn't handle his kindness just then. She knew he was burning with the need to know what was going on with her, but she also knew that if she told him it would break his heart.
She knew it would break his heart, because that night at dinner, Kevin dropped the L word. Why on earth he felt like that was the right time to tell her, she had no idea, but she couldn't say it back. She just couldn't. So she gave him what she hoped was a convincingly "touched" smile and leant in and kissed him before shoving a forkful of pasta in her mouth.
Burying her face in her pillow, Addison screamed in frustration as loudly as she could. Her screams soon degenerated into more tears, and she cried herself to sleep for the second night in a row.
Four days went by, each followed by a night of soaked pillows and salty cheeks. Addison went through her workday mechanically, acting nothing but professional to both patients and coworkers, and aside from a certain lack of chatter, nobody noticed anything wrong with the doctor.
On the fifth day, Addison awoke to the sound of rain pattering against the windowpanes. Groaning, she forced herself out of bed and got dressed. Reaching into her closet, she withdrew an umbrella. Then she froze.
Gazing down at her umbrella, Addison fingered the "Galleria" insignia that lay against the slick, black fabric, but she soon snapped herself out of her daze and grabbed her bag.
It was raining in Seattle. Again.
Derek's eyes drooped over dark circles as he began to get ready to leave the hospital after a marathon 72-hour shift. Normally, Derek hated 72-hour shifts, hated the way they sucked any and all energy out of him, but lately he'd volunteered to stay longer and covered other's shifts in the hopes that he would be too busy or too tired to think about what happened five days ago.
He dressed slowly, not wanting to go back to his trailer and hear her yelling at him about trout, see her sitting on the porch steps crying, feel her lying next to him. But he knew he was simply delaying the inevitable and eventually made his way out of the locker room.
Stepping out into the rain, Derek peered at the sky in regret. He'd forgotten his umbrella again. Sighing, he resumed his walk to his car. By the time he reached the parking lot, he was soaking wet, but he was surely not cold enough to be hypothermic.
Then why was he suffering from hallucinations?
The first thing he saw was the black umbrella. Then he saw the gray Prada shoes poking out from underneath it. And the white Burberry trench coat. And the eyes. Always the eyes.
She was leaning against the side of his car, not caring that she was getting her back wet. Derek approached her tentatively, still unsure if he was dreaming or not.
She flashed him a small, amused smile. "You're soaked," she commented.
Her voice did it for him. She was actually there. In person. Standing in front of him.
His mop of brown hair plastered itself to his forehead as he slowly nodded and stepped underneath the umbrella. His eyes never left hers while he took the handle of the umbrella from her gloved hand and let it fall to the ground.
She laughed softly. "Now I'm getting wet," she said. Her dark red bob loosed from its curls and framed her face perfectly.
"I'm sorry," he breathed. Her smile widened when she realized he remembered. He wrapped his arms loosely around her waist.
"Stop it, you're getting me wet."
For the first time in a week, Derek smiled. "You're already soaked," he replied, "so why can't I do this?"
Derek leaned forward and placed a few feather kisses on the corners of Addison's mouth, her cheeks, her chin and her nose before kissing her fully on the mouth.
A/N: I'm kinda depressed this is over. But what did you think of the ending? Too cheesy? Not cheesy enough? Should I write an epilogue? Review!