A/N - This was just a random idea, and is dedicated to all of those Miroku fangirls who think that he is not as "experienced" as his friends believe. Yes, he is a pervert and a lecher, but truly and deeply he is a just a lonely man. Anyways, please Read and Review!
"Inuyasha, you are so thick sometimes!" Kagome screamed as she burst into the hut where the gang was sitting. Inuyasha glared up at Kagome with blank eyes, proving her point most successfully, "What are you chuckling at Miroku?" Kagome placed her fists on her hips and stared down at the monk.
"Yes, Inuyasha is very thick." Miroku said as he lifted his cup of tea to his lips and looked at the four of his companions, waiting for someone to get his humor. From his clear and intelligent observation Shippo was still too young to understand, Inuyasha, truly, was not the brightest demon around. And Sango…
"That was horrible Miroku!" Sango caught on, trying to stifle the laughter behind her false rebuke.
"Oh I sure hope it wouldn't be." Miroku took a sip this time, watching Sango blush and Kagome sit down, grabbing her stomach, breaking out in stitches of laughter. Miroku joined in, and soon the three of them were laughing joyfully.
"I don't get it. What's going on with you people?!" Inuyasha yelled as he looked from person to person, his arms crossed grudgingly over his chest.
"Oh come on Inuyasha, I'm just a kid and I understand when their making sex jokes." Shippo joined in from his seat between Kagome and Inuyasha, looking up at the half-demon with an arrogant air.
"Why you…" Inuyasha lifted his fit and placed it right over Shippo's head, ready to pound him.
"Inuyasha…" Kagome warned, knowing that Inuyasha would know the word coming up next. Inuyasha grunted and crossed his arms once again, turning his face abruptly from the conversation.
"Look, he even has a command collar." Sango pointed, making Miroku roll in laughter. Inuyasha seemed to catch on to that one and began to softly chuckle himself.
"I'm curious Inuyasha," Miroku began to say, realizing that Sango, Shippo, and Kagome were locked on his every word, and waiting for him to foul up. They did that often enough that he was unfazed by it anymore, even though he knew it could get him in trouble, "exactly how far did you go with Kikyo, when she was alive?"
"Miroku! Don't ask that in front of Kagome!" Sango leaned over and whispered, clearly unsuccessful at her attempt to rebuke her quiet.
"No, Sango, it's okay. I'm actually kind of curious myself." Kagome pushed her lips together until they were white and put a finger up to them, looking at the ground.
"It's not like we didn't anything…I mean we never…if that's what you think then." Inuyasha stumbled over his words, clearly trying to figure out if he should hide anything. There wasn't really anything to hide so he sighed to calm himself down and continued, "Kikyo had to keep herself as pure as possible to keep the Sacred Jewel pure."
"Ah, so her spirit being weakened by falling in love with a Half-demon already, she couldn't risk going too far with you, just in case it would taint the Sacred Jewel." Kagome breathed out, placing her hands together on her lap, "That must have taken a lot of courage and restraint, on both your parts." Kagome looked up and smiled at Inuyasha, their eyes locking for an instant before both blushed and fixed their gazes somewhere else. Miroku and Sango shifted glances themselves and began laughing at the pair that Kagome and Inuyasha made.
"What about you Kagome?" Miroku asked, Sango slapped him on the arm quickly, "Ouch! What was that for?!"
"You don't just ask a girl something like that. Men are different when it comes to this sort of thing." Sango looked quickly away from Miroku, grabbing a strand of her hair and stroking it while she bit her lip.
"To answer your question, I've never even been kissed let alone do anything like that. In my era I'm still a teenage girl, not a young woman. It's not exactly accepted for us to be with someone that intimately." Kagome blushed as she looked back at Inuyasha who was staring at her again. Once again they locked eyes, blushed, and then found another place to stare at awkwardly.
"All the girls must be very innocent in your world, Kagome." Miroku said, a twinkling coming into his eyes. Sango hit him in the shoulder again.
"Well…I wouldn't go that far. My friend's keep trying to push this guy at school at me. He is very sweet, and definitely doesn't lose his temper or take people's feelings for granted, but he isn't for me. Besides, we make a lot of jokes about this kind of stuff."
"Jokes? Like what?" Shippo asked, his innocent fox eyes looking up at Kagome. He was getting older, and hanging out with the thick-headed Inuyasha had made it easier to understand the things Kagome said about other people and the mature topics of conversation.
"We call them 'That's what she said' jokes." Kagome blushed slightly as everyone looked at her with blank faces, "If someone says something that could be taken as a woman saying it to a man during sex, you say 'That's what she said.' It's funny in random conversation." Kagome was met with more blank stares. She placed her hand on her forehead in frustration, "The feudal era is hopeless. You all take too long."
"That's what she said?" Inuyasha attempted. Kagome laughed.
"That was pretty good, not nearly funny as some of the ones my friends and I come up with. But pretty good," Kagome giggled as she handed out candy from her pack to everyone.
Sango unwrapped her piece of candy, threw it in her mouth and tried to bite down, "Ouch! It's so hard."
"Sango, you have to eat it right for it to work. Try sucking on it." Kagome added, giving instructions.
"That's what she said!" Miroku laughed out loud. He got this game now, and it was rather entertaining. He looked at Sango and watched her face grow pink before she began to laugh herself.
"How did I know that you would probably be the first one to get a good one?" Kagome rolled her eyes, trying to make her face glare at him through her laughter.
"Because I'm the intelligent one?" Miroku offered a reason, bringing his hand to his chest and looking up in a snooty fashion.
"Because you're a Letcher." Inuyasha mumbled, everyone else in the room laughing at the expense of the monk, "There is no need to ask how far you've gone with a woman. I wouldn't be surprised if you already had ten or twenty kids running around in some village." Inuyasha bit as he grabbed a cup of noodles that had been steaming and began to shove the warm soft noodles into his mouth.
Sango stopped laughing as she looked at Miroku give a soft smile and look down at his teacup, clearly contemplating hard about something.
"Sango, what about you?" Inuyasha asked between mouthfuls, his cheeks puffed out like some sort of raccoon dog demon.
Sango stopped looking at Miroku and shook her head, "Nothing."
"Nothing what? Come on Sango, we all did it. Let's go, we haven't got all day to wait for you." Inuyasha's stubborn voice earned a glare from Kagome.
"Maybe she doesn't want to share!" Kagome yelled at Inuyasha. Sango gave Kagome a thankful glance, but inside she figured that she should tell them anyways. It was not like they were going to judge her.
"There was a boy my age in my slayers village. This was about four or five years ago, I can't really remember." Sango started, she looked over at Miroku, who was still staring downwards. He looked as if he was hanging onto her every word, "Well, we had liked one another for a while and both of us were sent out to a nearby village to kill a demon. We slayer's never let life pass us by because all of us knew that our chances of dying were very high. That night we spent the night together, the next day he was killed when I was knocked out briefly during the battle."
"Oh Sango, I'm so sorry." Kagome watched as Miroku got up quietly and left.
"What does he have to be unhappy about; he flirts with every woman he meets." Inuyasha growled, extending sympathy to Sango the only way he knew how, by changing the subject.
Kagome heard a stifled sigh from behind the bamboo curtain and decided that she would be the one to get Miroku back into the fun mood with everyone else. "I…uh…I need to get some water from the well." Kagome excused herself and walked out of the hut, sitting down next to Miroku, folding her arms around her knees.
"Do you all think that bad of me Kagome?" Miroku asked as he looked out towards the stars.
"Well, you do flirt and awful lot. And you ask every woman you see if she wants to bear your children. It's not exactly as if you do anything to make us feel better when you grope our behinds." Miroku smiled over at Kagome.
"The hand really does have a mind of its own. I'm a young man still, but for the feudal era I've lived half my life. Other men around me have families or romance. I flirt because I don't, and I will never have one until the curse of my wind tunnel is lifted." Miroku moved his purpled scarfed hand in front of him.
"What does the wind tunnel have to do with your flirtyness? Seriously Miroku, it's not as if you try to stop asking women to bear your children, or going off with them alone if they say yes." Kagome rolled her eyes, thinking to herself that this conversation was going nowhere fast. She wanted to change his outlook on life and on women so that he would be a better match for Sango, and so that both of them would finally realize that they have a chance together.
"Usually when I go off alone with the women of the village I have a glass of two of Sake and allow them to entertain me in order to be a respectful guest and to figure out if they have seen anything suspicious that their men do not allow them to tell. You know that men in this era keep a tight grasp on their women's tongues."
"Miroku, I didn't know. We all thought that you bedded them. It's why Sango gets so angry sometimes. And it still doesn't excuse you for asking these girls, you're leading them on." Kagome was looking at Miroku, trying to understand him better. She trusted him when he said that he didn't bed them when they went off alone. He was dishonest, but he wouldn't lie to her face.
"I ask in the hope that when I meet the right girl, the one who will wait for this dreaded curse to be lifted, we will be able to settle down. Since we can't find Naraku, that doesn't seem too close. I asked Sango grudgingly because, I had hoped, she would be the last woman I ever needed to ask, and that the yes would solidify a relationship solely with her. Till then, I need to keep up my lecher persona. Especially since I knew Sango has more experience." He grinned softly, his eyes twinkling.
"What do you mean more experienced?" Kagome couldn't believe that Miroku, that perverted and lecherous monk could be less experienced than Sango.
"Like you, Kagome, I have never been kissed or kissed anyone, even in my youth." Miroku saw Kagome's jaw drop out of his peripheral vision and chuckled to himself at her surprise, "Imagine, if you will Kagome, I did enter into a sexual relationship with a woman. Inevitably in the heat of passion I would lose myself and the prayer beads that guard my wind tunnel would come off or, in her own haste, she would take them off herself." Miroku left off there, placing his hand at his side and standing up, walking off towards the well, picking up the bucket Kagome had brought out with her.
Kagome smiled and stood herself, entering into the hut. She saw Shippo and Inuyasha lying asleep in the corner. With a jolt she felt a warm feeling around her wrist. Looking down she saw a crying Sango, her head leaning on the doorframe smiling through her tears of joy.