I was thinking...(a dangerous past time, I know.)...and I was wondering if Macy was only doing so much sports to cover up for something.

And her singing? It's impossible for a human to be that bad unless she's trying to hide something.

So my spark of insanity lead me to re-evaluate and redo Hannah Montana.

Macy style.


One In A Million.

One:

Upward Twice Hides A Secret Life.

What's the first thing that comes to mind when I say Hannah Montana?

Because if you're anything like Stella Malone you'd laugh, roll your eyes, shake your head and say:

"Please, as if that could ever really happen."

But if you're anything like Macy Misa you'd know that ideas have to come from somewhere.

And sometimes the really crazy ideas that make great Disney shows might just be someone's living hell.

What are the odds of someone being a regular brunette high school student (with a crush on the youngest member of a famous band) wearing a wig and stepping out on stage as a different person?

One in a million, right?

But that one still has to be someone.

There's a reason why Macy Misa takes so many sports. They're a great cover up.

There's a reason why Macy Misa is JONAS' biggest fan. It's also a great cover up.

There's a reason why Macy Misa can't sing. Another great cover up.

And the reason Macy Misa can't sing is because Melody Cole can.

*.*.*.*.*.*

I put the key in the lock and slid open the top drawer on the shelf. The drawer that hid my secrets. The drawer that was my best friend and my worst enemy at the same time. I pulled out the box within, opened it and placed my blonde wig, gently, inside. That was part one over with. Believe me, it's going to get a whole lot weirder before it makes sense. I then placed the box back into the shelf and slid the drawer closed. I put my hand on the key and pumped it in a downward motion twice. Immediately a door, which was cleverly disguised as a wall, (Pfft, how original, right?) swung open to reveal my best kept secret from Stella Malone. Even more so than my other identity. No, this was better kept because Stella can smell fashion a mile off. And in the ten years I'd known Stella, in the five years I'd been Melody, Stella never once discovered my hidden closet.

This is where I kept everything, apart from that one wig which was my favourite and Melody's signature hair-do. But this is where I kept the rest of my wigs, my costumes, my makeup.

Is it beginning to sound familiar?

You have to wonder if Disney got their Hannah Montana idea from reading my diary. Because although most thought it poppycock this was my reality. I was leading a double life.

As a rockstar.

*.*.*.*.*.*

"Macy?" I jumped a little before realising it was just my Mom. My wonderful mother and manager. Who'd managed to raise me for sixteen years without a man by her side. And look what we've accomplished.

Disaster.

Or at least that's how I see it.

I can't tell my best friend that I'm really out rocking a stage when I'm supposed to be at basketball.

I can't go out on dates sometimes because I'm touring. And Macy's (apparently) visiting her father.

In Ireland.

Heck, I don't know if my father lives in Ireland.

He could be dead for all I know.

All I've ever been told about him was that we (meaning the woman telling me, and myself) were strong, independent women who didn't need scum like him poisoning our perfect lie. Life I mean. Not lie.

I finished scraping the rest of the pan stick off my face. It was nice to see my sallow skin after a night of being so pale I could've passed as a ghost.

In five minutes I could hop into the shower and feel the heated water wash away the rest of the white makeup that had been so expertly airbrushed to my skin.

Again, another reason why sports are great excuses.

What do I have to do after a concert? Shower.

What do I have to do after practice? I think you're starting to understand.

"Yes Mom?"

I pulled the net from my head and sighed as my brown waves slithered down my face and bounced off my shoulders. Last out were the blue contacts, revealing my brown eyes.

Ah. It was good to be Macy.

"Mr Condor wants to know if Melody will guest-star on Hannah Montana. Apparently having Mel on the show would bring the ratings up considerably. Not that they need it. But it would help Mel stretch to a wider audience.

"Sure Mom." I smiled, grabbing my towel and pumping the key upward twice, closing the door to my secret life.

So I was going to guest star on Hannah Montana?

Well, now isn't that just the epitome of irony?

*.*.*.*.*.*

[[Two Months Later]]

"Hate her, love the outfit." Stella told me as we watched Melody guest star on Hannah Montana. Yes, it was a well known fact that Miss Stella Malone hated my alter ego. According to Stella, Melody was a talent less fame whore, attention seeking tramp because she'd ignored her at the 'Teen Choice Awards' last year. It's not my fault I didn't want Melody getting up close and personal with Macy's best friend. If anyone's gonna recognise me it'd be Stella.

"It would look so much better on you Stells." Joe said, those love struck eyes revealing more than he probably intended. And still Stella remained clueless. In fact, their inevitable amalgamation seemed obvious to everyone but them. It was irritating to say the least. "Thanks Joe." Stella beamed. "It would, wouldn't it?"

"She's actually a fairly good actress." Kevin commented.

"Yeah, more than you know." I laughed at my inside joke, earning stares from the rest of the company. I coughed trying to hide my laugh. "Anyone want popcorn?" I asked, changing what could potentially be a very dangerous topic. I received nods and chants of agreement from the group.

"I'll come help." Nick stood up from his seat on the floor. "I have to stretch my legs."

We were almost at the kitchen before I remembered something.

Something important enough to be part of Macy's everyday life.

I purposely hitched my breath in my throat and turned my voice to the highest octave I could manage. "I can't believe an actual JONAS is helping me make popcorn."

Should I faint? Nah. I can't be bothered.

"Breath Macy," Nick told me. I remember feeling like the biggest idiot in the world the first few times I pretended to be star struck. But it was almost like second nature to me now. "In with the good air, out with the weird air, remember?" I pretended to try and steady my breathing. Once I had regained a stable breathing level; "Butter or Salted?" I asked. "Salted, please." Was Nick's polite response.

I'd met some pretty annoying rockstars as Melody. These boys were just about the most normal as it gets. Too bad Macy was having trouble realising that. Still, rather a fan than blow my secret right?

I looked at Nick who was staring off into space, probably writing a song in his mind. To me he was the most handsome thing ever created. And this was just him. No professional stylists, makeup artists or photographers. He was nice and talented and good looking and smart and occasionally funny. The perfect guy.

I sighed inwardly.

Yeah.

Rather a fan.

*.*.*.*.*.*

"Hey Macy." Kevin walked up next to me in the school corridor the following morning. I silently cursed as I overdramatically gasped, spun around and purposely hit him in the jaw with my javelin. Oh, shit, that was harder than intended. That one's gonna leave a mark.

I'm a little frustrated lately, okay?

"I'm so sorry Kevin!" Same old same.

"It's okay Mace." When really it's not.

"Really, Kevin, I'm such a klutz. I'm so sorry." Nothing different there.

"It's okay Mace, really. I just came to thank you for having us over to your house yesterday."

"That's okay." Again, more of our usual conversation. "It was so cool having JONAS in my living room!" Cue the fan girl voice.

"And I just wanted to tell you that Melody was really good on Hannah Montana."

Panda name-calling, otter with a trumpet loving, sideburn rocking, guitar jamming, JONAS say what?!

"Uh, okay…" I tried to act inconspicuous.

"I just thought I'd tell you because our manager is planning on having her on our show. I mean, it'd be a shame for her to gracefully decline but she probably wouldn't want to come face to face with a JONAS anyway. So I just thought I'd give you the heads up." He smiled genuinely, nodded and promptly walked away.

I stood frozen to the spot.

Did he know?Or was he just being Kevin?

Random, funny, silly, spacey Kevin?

My phone vibrated in my pocket snapping me out of my daze.

"Not now Mom, I'm too busy freaking out."

Or at least that what I wanted to say. But instead I just put the phone to my ear and let out a barely audible squeak.

"You'll never guess what, but Mr. Condor liked your appearance on Hannah so much that he wants to guest star on another show!" She said excitedly. "It's one about three boys…what's it called…" I heard the rustling of papers. "JONAS. And the publicity from that would be so awesome that I just agreed straight away. I mean, Mel on a show with three teenage boys? Perfect!" She exclaimed.

I just stood in a trance not really taking in what she was saying.

I was too busy replaying Kevin's conversation.

Wait, did she just say she agreed straight away?

"Hi five for Mom, honey, you're going to be on JONAS!"

Going to be? Like it's definite?

Goddamnit.

This can't be good.


So there's about five chapters I've got planned for this. (It's a short one) and I've got four of those written. It's nothing amazing, it's just simple Disney-esque with a Macy twist because I happen to think she's fantastic! This is my first attempt at a Nick/Macy fic (cause c'mon, she's playing a Hannah Montana like character, who else could I have out her with?! Can't you just hear Joe's jokes now?!) so I'm sorry that it's not that great a Nick/Macy fic because I only really like writing her with Kevin. Nevertheless, I hope you get a giggle from this and I'd love it if you reviewed. I'll probably post the next chapter real soon. And major apologies for my crap rhyming skills for the chapter titles.

If you're feeling up to it, Tweet me! (I've become a bit of a Tweet whore. It's so friggen addictive.) Oh, and I don't own JONAS or Hannah Montana. But I will.

Someday.
I will.
MUHAHAHAHAHA.