Disclaimer: We, sadly, do not own Twilight or its characters. We do, however, own our twisted senses of humor.
[ Edward ]
It was three in the morning and the apartment was quiet except for the occasional snoring grunt from my brother, who was currently slumped in his chair drooling, the bowl of Captain Crunch he had been eating tipped precariously in his hand.
Four hours ago we had been tipped off that a new clip from the upcoming CA movie was going to hit the internet tonight, and I was determined to get it on my website before anyone else. If I did, that could mean millions of hits before anyone else.
I drummed my fingers against the desk, my eyes burning from lack of sleep and staring at the computer screen for hours on end, smiling when my iTunes started playing a familiar song. The sweet melodic harmony made my eyelids heavy and I fought to keep them open.
The sound of Bella Swan, one of the leads in the CA series of movies, softly singing and strumming her guitar, made my chest tighten. When Jasper called and told me he had heard she was putting not one but two original tracks on the movie soundtrack, I thought I had died and gone to heaven. The only records I had been able to find of her singing were extremely low quality recordings from people seeing her at open-mic nights, long before she became famous.
With another heavy sigh I clicked the refresh button on the page and before me was the exclusive clip from Carlisle's Angels. I gave a quick yell that made my brother jump, the contents of his cereal bowl spilling all over himself and the carpet.
"It's up! Emmett, it's up! Call Jasper!" I ordered as I began typing furiously.
My brother tipped his chair over backwards in his attempts to get up, and crawled to the phone. I heard him dialing, and when he put it on speaker phone, the familiar callback tone of 'Magic Man' by Heart flooded our living room.
"You said you wouldn't start it until we were all ready, Dick-face!" Emmett tipped his chair upright again and pulled it next to mine.
I shook my head. "I didn't start it yet, Emmett."
"Hello?" Jasper Whitlock grumbled into the phone, voice thick with sleep.
"Dude, it's up!" Emmett roared as he picked up bits of soggy cereal off the floor and popped them into his mouth.
We heard the creaking of bed springs, Ann, Jasper's girlfriend, complaining that we had called too early, and Jasper telling her it was a work emergency.
"Hold on, I'm turning on my computer," Jasper said, and you could hear the phone rubbing against his chin.
"I told you to leave it on, douchebag. Now we have to wait on you," Emmett grumbled, leaning back in his chair in frustration. "And nice lie, Jasper—who the fuck has a work emergency at three a.m. with a radio station?"
"Ann was using the computer before she went to bed and shut it off," Jasper said, trying to defend himself. We could hear a typing sound as he furiously typed his password to log on. "Anyway, shut the hell up, at least I don't babysit old people all day."
"I don't babysit, jackass, I am a security guard," Emmett corrected with authority.
Jasper laughed quietly. "You are a security guard at an old folk's home!"
"I swear to God, Jasper Whitlock if you were here right now—"
"Will both of you just shut the fuck up?! " I groaned, anxious to see the clip. Emmett looked down guiltily at his lap before mumbling an apology. "I've already put it up on the site, so let me know when you're ready," I told Jasper, ignoring Emmett's reproachful stare.
"You said you wouldn't watch it without all of us," Jasper whined.
"I didn't freaking watch it yet, God!" I pushed Emmett's grubby hand off of the back of my chair and waited for Jasper to give me the green light.
"Okay, I'm ready. You ready?" He asked in an excited girly voice.
Emmett pushed his chair even closer to mine, his fat head less than five inches away from the monitor.
"On the count of three. Ready? One… two… three!" I clicked the play button and together the three of us took a collective breath.
My eyes widened as the three most beautiful women I had ever seen filled the computer monitor in front of me. Each one of them were distinctively different, yet all of them stunningly gorgeous.
Bella Swan, also known as Kate in the movies, had long brown curls that stopped just above her supple ass. She was small in size, but her personality on screen made up for it. Her eyes were a hypnotizing chocolate brown that could pierce directly to your soul. She was the ring leader, the organizer, and one hell of a kisser from what I could tell by her movies.
Alice Brandon, a petite firecracker that only stood about five foot and maybe an inch, was Jasper's object of desire. She was Jane, the quick-thinker and the one that normally held the group together. Her spiky black hair was recognizable all over the world, as were her majestic grey eyes.
Last but certainly not least was Rosalie Hale, or Victoria. Rosalie was a bombshell and she knew it—she showed it in the way she walked and talked. She was the bitchy one that everyone knew not to mess with. She could dismantle a bomb in less than twenty five seconds with a q-tip and a pair of tweezers. Her blonde hair and blue eyes had Emmett panting in one point three seconds flat.
Together the three of them made one kickass team of superheroes that were Carlisle's Angels. The books had started as a spinoff of Charlie's Angels from the seventies and over the past two years had become very lucrative movies. The first movie placed all three of them in the spotlight and they hadn't vacated it since.
"Holy shit, look at her ass," Emmett whispered and laughed as Rosalie punched a bad guy in the back of the head, looking haughty and HOT all at once.
Emmett had a "thing" for Rosalie; I think it was because he knew she could probably kick his ass if she had to, and he liked that idea. Jasper's affection switched between Alice and Bella. The fact that Bella was a musician in real life made his rocks hard, but Alice made his eyes light up like a fat kid seeing cake. As for me—Bella Swan was it; I didn't need to look any further than her doe eyes to know that she was something special.
Sure, millions of people fantasized over them (granted it was mostly teenage boys), but in the back of my mind I had a feeling that I was different. I knew if I ever had the chance to meet Bella she would see I wasn't like the rest of the screaming idiots who'd send her naked pictures or hung around her house in LA hoping for a quick glimpse of her. It could be different for the two of us, if we ever had the chance.
The three of us watched the clip four more times, each time adding our own commentary and pointing out information in the background. After the fifth time, all three of us became silent. I looked at Emmett as he looked at me, and we both looked at the phone.
"We have to do it," Jasper said, whispering, hoping Ann wouldn't hear him.
"I agree. If I have to, I won't eat anything but crackers," Emmett nodded at the phone before looking back at me. "What do you say, Edward?"
I looked back at the screen; the last shot of the clip of all three of the girls together paused on the large monitor. If I could just meet her, I really think I could have a chance. I believed that with my whole heart. So in the end I decided, what the hell did I have to lose?
"I'm in," I said with a smile. Emmett gave me a high five before jumping out of his chair and doing some sort of kung-foo dance move.
"So that's that?" Jasper asked in a hushed whisper that teetered on excitement and hysterics.
"That's it boys—we are going to VanCon," I said happily.
The three of us would make the trip across the Canadian border to go to the Vancouver Convention and meet Bella, Alice and Rosalie. I smiled in satisfaction, elated with our decision.
I was positive that one way or another, this trip was going to change our lives.
LMW: Okay, I know…I have too much on my "fanfic plate" right now. I shouldn't be posting something new. But charlsad and I were joking around about all this and it just…clicked. This story is not meant to offend anyone—hell, I'm guilty of half, if not more than half, of all the stuff these guys do. Where do you think the experiences come from? *giggles*
Charlsad: Ok ok now everyone take a step back and realize that we all do this crazy ass shit and that in real life it really is hilarious. I hope we get some positive feedback from this little intro because Little Miss Whitlock and I have a lot more to share. Thanks for reading and hope you like it!!
P.S. This one goes out to our Diana (Hammondgirl). We love you long time.
We've got twitters! Charlsad (JustForkIt) and Little Miss Whitlock (melsvfp) if you wanna follow us.
Reviews make us as giddy as these guys seeing the new Carlisle's Angels clip!