I promised something fluffy to those who made it through "Chuck vs the Last Request," and here it is. Lighter than a feather, softer than a bunny, it's like reading a cloud. Enjoy.
Chuck vs The Prom
swalker218: Chuck, you there?
nrdhrdr01: For my favorite gorgeous blonde ninja-esque CIA agent? Always.
swalker218: That can't be a very deep pool of candidates, Chuck.
nrdhrdr01: Regardless, the truth is the truth. What's up?
swalker218: I know this is really short notice, but I need a favor.
nrdhrdr01: A favor? From me?
nrdhrdr01: The mighty Sarah Walker needs her lowly but amazingly charming asset to do her a solid?
swalker218: I really only understand what you're saying about thirty percent of the time. But yes, I need a favor.
nrdhrdr01: This puts me in an enviable position.
swalker218: Oh, for crying out loud.
nrdhrdr01: What will I demand of you in return for the favor?
swalker218: Don't you think it would be smarter to actually ask what the favor is before "demanding" payment?
nrdhrdr01: Nope. I've got it.
swalker218: That… took way less time than I thought and frightens me quite a bit.
nrdhrdr01: Oh, I think you'll like this.
swalker218: Yeah, now I'm frightened quite a lot.
nrdhrdr01: In return for this service you have requested of me, I shall require…
nrdhrdr01: A medium bowl of my favorite frozen yogurt.
swalker218: Seriously. That's the best you could come up with?
nrdhrdr01: Hey, you know how much I love toasted marshmallow.
swalker218: Well, I hate to break it to you, but we actually discontinued that flavor.
nrdhrdr01: What? No more toasted marshmallow? You've got to be kidding me; that was the best one!
swalker218: You were literally the only person who ever ate that stuff.
nrdhrdr01: If I hadn't sold my soul to the NSA, I would cry. Do you have any other earth-shattering news for me?
swalker218: The NSA had a yard sale.
nrdhrdr01: Oh, yeah? Was my dignity there? I'd like that back. Or my old roller skates?
swalker218: Just your soul. It looks nice on top of my tv.
nrdhrdr01: Please keep it away from the goldfish.
swalker218: Ugh. Don't get me started. The goldfish will NOT stop humping it.
nrdhrdr01: That's no way to treat my soul, Sarah.
swalker218: I paid eight bucks for that soul. If Bubbles wants to use it as a humping post, that's his prerogative.
nrdhrdr01: I think my favorite thing about you is your ability to play along.
swalker218: Glad to oblige. Although it gets me in trouble with Casey whenever I think he's joking and he's not.
nrdhrdr01: Nobody said being awesome came without risk.
swalker218: Aww… did you just inadvertently call me awesome? That's the nicest compliment anyone's ever almost given me.
nrdhrdr01: Don't let it go just short of your head. So, what's the favor you need?
swalker218: What are the odds you own a tux?
nrdhrdr01: Please. It's me.
nrdhrdr01: Yes, I own a tux. Haven't worn it in a while, though.
swalker218: Okay, before I take this any farther, what color is it?
nrdhrdr01: You make me so angry sometimes.
swalker218: Just making sure it's not maroon velvet or anything.
nrdhrdr01: Ye of little faith. Although that does sound remarkably comfortable.
swalker218: What are you doing tonight?
nrdhrdr01: Infiltrating an underground assembly of the International Penguin Admiration Society with you?
swalker218: That's next week. Tonight it's an annual gathering at the CIA field office. Black tie. Usually pretty fun.
nrdhrdr01: Oh my god…
nrdhrdr01: Are you asking me to the prom?
swalker218: It's not a prom.
nrdhrdr01: Do you have any idea how long I've waited for this moment?
swalker218: I hate you so much right now.
nrdhrdr01: Wait, are you inviting me to go with you, or does someone my size need to borrow a tuxedo?
swalker218: I'm inviting you to go. I have to keep an eye on Carina, and if I go alone I have a feeling things are going to get weird. Like, drunk Carina weird.
nrdhrdr01: Carina? But she's DEA. Is it, like, an inter-agency prom?
swalker218: No, but she's crashing.
nrdhrdr01: Crashing the CIA prom? That's bold, even by Carina standards.
swalker218: She's trying to get lucky with some field agent she's been stalking. And please stop calling it the prom.
nrdhrdr01: Wait, women actually call it "getting lucky?" You should call it "getting inevitable."
swalker218: You're hilarious. Can you go, or not?
nrdhrdr01: Are you kidding me? I wouldn't miss this for the world. I can be at your place around seven.
swalker218: I can do seven if you can be a little late.
nrdhrdr01: That's my specialty. Want to make it 7:30 instead?
swalker218: No, because then you'll be too late.
nrdhrdr01: Well, it's my specialty.
swalker218: Listen, I'm not allowed to bring my gun tonight, seeing as we're going to be surrounded by some pretty high level people. So please try not to get into any trouble, okay?
nrdhrdr01: Oh, wow. You, unarmed… me, with a head full of government intelligence in a room full of CIA agents and rival agency party crashers… what could go wrong?
swalker218: You should probably just put your foot in your mouth now so you don't have to do it later.
nrdhrdr01: I keep it there all the time these days.
swalker218: Gross. But I'm impressed by your flexibility.
nrdhrdr01: I know, right? I'm, like, almost thirty.
swalker218: See you a little later than seven.
nrdhrdr01: Oh, wait, quick question.
nrdhrdr01: It's regarding your dress.
nrdhrdr01: Would you describe it as… oh… I dunno… slinky?
swalker218: The slinkiest.
nrdhrdr01: There is a god.
swalker218 signed off at 5:15:53
nrdhrdr01 signed off at 5:15:59
jcasey1980 signed on at 8:37:45
jcasey1980: Walker? You there?
jcasey1980: Did you and the moron go to the CIA shindig without me?
jcasey1980: You two suck.
jcasey1980 signed off at 8:43:16
swalker218 signed on at 2:45:43
nrdhrdr01 signed on at 3:18:29
nrdhrdr01: Sarah, you there?
swalker218: For my favorite computer nerd asset with a head full of government secrets? Always.
nrdhrdr01: :) :) :)
swalker218: That was a fun night.
nrdhrdr01: I know, right? I was just typing that!
swalker218: I still can't believe you pantsed that General.
nrdhrdr01: He had it coming. And what about you and Carina? Do you think they'll figure out who stole the statue?
swalker218: Please. It's us. And besides, it was in the interest of national security.
nrdhrdr01: Right. You misspelled "Jager bombs."
swalker218: Hey, Chuck, seriously…
swalker218: Thank you for going with me. I know Carina can be a handful for you. She's more than I can handle most of the time. But having you there made that a little easier. And a lot more fun.
nrdhrdr01: Believe me when I tell you that the pleasure was mine. And Sarah?
nrdhrdr01: Anytime you need a date… you know where to find me.
swalker218: :) That's true. Whether you like it or not.
nrdhrdr01: On a side note, those CIA cookies were amazing.
swalker218: Chuck, for the last time, just because the CIA had cookies there doesn't mean they were actual CIA cookies. There is, in fact, no such thing.
nrdhrdr01: I saved one. I named it Madeleine. I'm gonna eat it.
swalker218: There's something wrong with your brain.
nrdhrdr01: You like my brain.
swalker218: Never said I didn't.
nrdhrdr01: 'Night, Sarah.
swalker218: 'Night, Chuck.
swalker218 signed off at 3:31:53
nrdhrdr01 signed off at 3:31:59
There you go. Hopefully that balances out the dread and despair.
In all seriousness, these are way more fun to write and a hell of a lot easier, so I wouldn't worry about any more dark fics anytime soon. But I do want to thank everyone who read and reviewed "Last Request." I got some of the most thoughtful and interesting reviews I've ever gotten from that story, so that alone made the smudge on my soul worth it. And I didn't even have to get a new one at a yard sale.
Thanks, as always, for reading.