I could still feel traces of him inside me. We had made love not 24 hours ago. How did it come to this??!!
I love you Alice.
Tears pricked my eyes. Without meaning to I screamed.
My heart was lost. I was lost. If he had thought that I was his compass, that I was the pillar of our relationship, he was so wrong. So very wrong. I was nothing – meaningless without him.
I heard commotion running up the stairs.
"Alice?" Edward. My favorite brother. I felt him come up behind me and hug me tight.
"He ..is not dead."
I look at him accusingly before my false countenance broke a second later
" I ..I can't..see ..feel him..Edward..I can't.." I sobbed. I could only feel void. A vast nothingness. Like he was permanently cut off from me. I had never felt anything like that before. Not in all our years together. Even when I went to Italy on my crazy mission to save Edward, even when we had been thousands of miles apart, I felt him. Now… now..
Something happened to my soldier. Something really bad.
"Carlisle is making calls… Emmett and Rosalie will be back soon, I am sure they will have something to report." He told me kindly.
He had gone out to hunt. It was my fault. Our lovemaking had made him less than optimal condition. With Renesmee around us all the time now, he didn't want to take any chances at all. He hunted if it was necessary. For Nessie, he had said once. He loved our niece to bits. I could understand that, Nessie was an adorable child. He had been so worried about handling her when she was still an infant, but now – both niece and uncle couldn't spend a day without spending time together. She was just as attached to him as he was to her. The thought of Nessie being downstair and hearing my heartwrenching scream sent a stab of guilt to my still heart.
"I'm sorry Edward… is Renesmee downstair? Did she hear?" I stammered. He shook his head.
"Bella and Esme have taken her back to our cottage. Jacob is with them," he ushered a reply.
"How could he just have disappeared Edward? How could I have not seen this happen?" I started again.
How could I have not seen what was to take place? If I had I wouldn't have allowed him to leave!
He was at a loss of what to say.
"I ..I don't know Alice.. I ..don't know," he whispered worriedly.
When Jasper had not returned 6 hours after he had left, Edward and Bella had gone looking for him. I was too distraught to be of use and I sat waiting with Esme and faking smiles to Renesmee while they went searching. They came back 2 hours later and pulled me outside. The piece of material that he had in his hand sent my heart plummeting.
It was Jasper's favorite shirt. And he was always very careful when he wore this because it was mine too. It was powdered blue and had a military edge to it but very subtle. He didn't like loud things that would bring attention to him.
It was torn to shreds.
And bloodied. Lots of blood covering the blues. Was this his blood?? I looked up at Edward's and Bella's faces anguishedly.
"There was a lot of blood on the ground Alice.." Edward said to me in a hushed tone, the space between his eyebrows creased deeply.
"I think..he might have fought..he might have been taken or something.."
Oh God Oh God Oh God.
My body wavered. I felt faint. My vision tunneled suddenly and I was sucked into something violently. With the material on my hand, I finally had a semblance of a vision. Only it was a vision of the past.
Our lovemaking. The night before. He had held out for as long as he could – to please me, to show me how I meant to him.
"I will be back soon my love.." His last words to me before he took off. He had kissed me full on right there in front of Bella and Renesmee and Esme and myself. A moment of unexpected bliss. Shock registered on my face. A wonderful shock because I hadn't seen it.
He ran northwards, towards Alaska. He found an elk.
He was lost in the frenzy of the drink. He did not realize the danger. I did not realize the danger until too late.
"Alice?" Bell'as concerned voice filtered hazily into my mind. I ignored here and continued watching the movie playing in my head.
5 vampires. Newborns.
Jasper! Run!!!! He could not escape. What was happening? They were exchanging words and yet I couldn't hear a thing. Worry on my lover's face. Anger. His defense stance.
They tore him apart. Limb to limb. They were too strong for him?! It wasn't right. Jasper was skilled enough to handle newborns. Something else was subduing him. Something powerful.
I squinted to read the last words coming from his mouth. A strangled scream. Alice!!!
Then void. Utter void. Like he had been torn away from me forever.
I was pushed out of the vision just as violently as I had been let in. I staggered backwards and fell.
"Alice.???" Edward's worried eyes peering into me as I cried dry tears.
"They..they tore him apart.." I sobbed as I held onto the material, the last piece of him that I had, tightly.
" They…they killed him…..they tore him apart…they tore him apart!!!!" I screamed hysterically at him.
My compass was gone. I was lost. Lost.