MEMO

TO: Captain James T. Kirk

FROM: Commander Spock

RE: Request for Personal Leave

Captain,

Attached you will find my completed request for personal leave, as per regulation 8909, paragraph 78, subsection (ii-iv).

I trust you will review this request and forward it to Starfleet Command with your authorization appended.

Should you have any questions concerning this request, please advise me and I will respond accordingly.

MEMO

FROM: Captain James T. Kirk

TO: Commander Spock

RE: Your Request for Personal Leave

Commander,

While requesting personal leave is certainly within your prerogative, I have one question to ask of you in regards to this matter: What the hell?

Do you really think simply forwarding me this form is the best way to handle your request? What about asking me? Or explaining it to me?

Why are you asking for leave? Where are you going? Will you be gone longer than the ten days indicated on the form?

Alright, I have asked more than one question but they all come down to basically the same question: What the hell?

MEMO

TO: Captain James T. Kirk

FROM: Commander Spock

RE: Your Response to My Request for Personal Leave

Captain,

I admit that I did not handle my request for personal leave in a manner to which you have become accustom. I should not have been so reticent with my reasons for my request.

The impending Earth holidays celebrated by many aboard Enterprise are quickly approaching. While I have in the past endeavored to be, as you have so often requested, a "good sport" about the frivolity and general chaos that seems to overtake the behavior and disciple of the crew during this time, I find that my patience for this seemingly interminable interval to be gone.

Specifically, I do not wish to be expected or required to attend endless social gatherings, pretending to be engaged in conversation with those members of the crew with whom I barely interact except when forced to do so. I do not want to be encourage to "eat up" or drink to excess in the spirit of the holidays which are not mine. And I adamantly do not want to be asked ever again if I am one of the overgrown helpers escaped from forced labor at the northern most point of Earth.

I understand that you prefer that I remain on board during this season of Human merriment and celebration. I do not wish to disappoint you, nor do I wish to be obligated to pretend to feel about this time as those native to the tradition feel.

I again request that you approve my leave so that I may absent myself from Enterprise during this time.

MEMO

FROM: Captain Kirk

TO: Commander Spock

RE: Your request for Personal Leave

Denied.

MEMO

TO: Captain James T. Kirk

FROM: Commander Spock

RE: Your Denial of My request for Personal Leave

Captain,

Please reconsider my request for personal leave. I do not believe that my request is unreasonable. My absence will not prove disruptive to the performance of the crew or the ship. I only wish to be gone for eleven days - commencing Earth date 23 December through 2 January. I will return 3 January and will make certain that all the work not completed during my absence will be fulfilled.

Again, I respectfully request that you approve my personal leave.

MEMO

FROM: Captain Kirk

TO: Commander Spock

RE: Your Request That I Reconsider My Denial of Your Request for Personal Leave

I have no intentions of reconsidering my denial of your request. Your request is denied. You will not change my mind. I consider the matter closed.

MEMO

TO: Jim

FROM: Spock

RE: The Matter Is Not Yet Closed

Jim,

I regret making you angry with my request for personal leave. I should have discussed it with you prior to transmitting my leave form. Alpha shift is over in 48 minutes. May we discuss my reasons in person when shift is concluded?

Thank you for your patience.

MEMO

TO: Spock

FROM: Jim

RE: Your Stubborn Refusal to Take NO For An Answer

Spock,

Alright, I concede. I do know why you are requesting leave. I know how much you hate the Christmas and New Year's celebrations which you are forced to attend and to pretend to enjoy. But you know equally well that this time of year is one of my favorites. The very reasons you dread it are the same reasons that I (and the majority of our crew) look forward to it with such childlike anticipation.

Of course not one of us would admit to believing in Santa Claus. But there is still an innocent wonder that overcomes us all at the mere thought of that perpetually jolly gentleman clad in red and white fur. And I'm sorry the crew keeps asking you if you are one of his elves. It's unfortunate that the traditional depiction of his helpers (who are never referred to as being forced labor, by the way) are tinted green and are graced pointed ears. Anyway, Bones calls you an overgrown elf all the time. I'd have thought by now you'd not even hear anyone say it.

Your request is by no means unreasonable. That doesn't mean that I will change my mind and approve it.

Before you sent me your request, did you take the time to consider what your absence would mean to the crew? As much as you dread forced interactions of a personal nature, the crew loves being around you when you're off duty. You are charming and attentive and all around good company. Hiding behind your Vulcan walls doesn't stop them from seeing the person inside who is interested in all aspects of Human behavior, even those aspects you grumble about the most.

Please reconsider your request for leave. I promise I will do everything I can to make this year's holiday season less burdensome to you. And I'll ask Bones to help too. He's very good at running interference.

Let me know?

MEMO

TO: Jim

FROM: Spock

RE: Casting Aspersions Is Uncalled For

Jim,

First, I hasten to point out to you that I do not grumble. Secondly, please spare me from having to deal with Dr. McCoy. I request that you do not tell him of this discussion. The torment he has previously subjected me to will pale in comparison to that which I will suffer should you discuss this with him. Thirdly, I do not consider myself amusing or charming. You have those qualities in amounts adequate for us both.

I failed to consider the possible damper my absence may put on the general frivolity of the crew. I thought, in fact, that by being gone, the frivolity factor would be elevated, not diminished.

I have no wish to be gone for those eleven days. Not alone, at any rate. Perhaps my request for leave was overly hasty. A compromise may yet be attainable.

MEMO

TO: My Spock

FROM: Your Jim

RE: Casting Aspersions Was Not My Intent

Love,

Not only would the crew be saddened by your absence, I would be bereft. And you know the old saying "When the Captain ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." You don't want to do that to the crew, do you? At Christmas of all times?

How about this? How about I promise you don't have to attend any of the parties except for the one for the Command Crew? Since we're the official hosts and it will be in our quarters, you really need to be at that one. And it won't last very long, I promise.

If you don't want to go the ship-wide party, I won't insist, I promise. I have to go but I don't have to be there the entire time.

I won't tell Bones about your reluctance to be here for all the celebrations. I shouldn't have said I would talk to him. It wasn't a threat, I promise. I think he's pretty clear about how you feel anyway.

So, you'll stay if I promise not to order you to any of the parties? And I'll make your excuses for you? Maybe there's some rare Vulcan disease you can be afflicted with. Not contagious. Not life-threatening. Just makes you green around the gills. Okay, that was a cheap shot. But I couldn't resist. And I'll make it up to you at end of Alpha shift.

Which is about now. I'll be in our quarters waiting.

MEMO

TO: My T'hy'la

FROM: Your Love

RE: We Both Win

T'hy'la,

I officially withdraw my request for personal leave. You are right. It would be selfish of me to be gone. I do enjoy your frivolity at this time of year. The seemingly impossible increase in your sexual appetite is reason enough for me to stay. Is it the additional sugar that is introduced into your diet? Is it eggnog? I believe this year I will find the secret so that I do not have to wait for the seasonal celebration to benefit from it.

I appreciate your withdrawal of your suggestion that you would have Dr. McCoy assist in keeping my sane during this time. I will endeavor to not disappoint you when we attend those festivities we are unable to avoid. And I will accompany you to the ship-wide celebration. It is, as you would say, worth the price of admission to watch you fend off the advances of those crew who imbibe too liberally and think the general rules of decorum where their Captain is concerned do not apply. The expression on your face as you use our bond to ask that I rescue you is worth any discomfort the forced social interaction may cause.

There is no need for us to create a Vulcan illness to cover my absences. I will not promise to have a good time at the endless social events at which we are expected to appear. I will promise not to spoil anyone else's fun. Especially yours.

MEMO

TO: My Love

FROM: Your T'hy'la

RE: Maybe It Is the Eggnog

I happen to have some eggnog with me in our quarters. When you finally get here, we'll test your theory to see if that is what causes an increase in my libido. Even if it isn't the eggnog, I don't think either of us will be disappointed.

You'll hurry, right?