Lol, I'm done. Sorry for the lateness. Qualifying is finally over. And, I know I got another one for her too, though. *laughs*My pen drive's plopped into a hot cup of tea and I lost everything. (Why can't it be waterproof? D': ) …did everything all over. I know at some point you'll go 'wth is r0ng wit kcvii?' x'D Just feeling the adrenaline rush. Horlicks is yum.

I own nothing. You are now warned for broken English. :D

For QueenAlla,


"Reno?" Elena asked, frowning from her desk.

"Mmh," came his reply. He didn't cock his head up and beamed like when he usually does if she simply hinted something that might interest him. Deeply curious, Elena skirted around his table only to see him concentrated fully on the screen of his monitor … playing Ouch Online. She immediately recognized that game because of the high quality graphic and the monitor didn't do justice to it.

The game was kept updated regularly.

And it was certain they needed new computers to keep up. New computers sound like fun.

Tseng would understand if she wheedled her way. The thought of asking him personally, undisturbed, feels like—

On a more serious notion, Reno was too focused onto the game. If only his level of concentration was that similar when he was assigned to office work… Reno suddenly cursed.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

Reno muttered something miserably something before saying, "Got owned by ViVi."


"A guild member. We PVPd."

Figures. Elena sighed.

"Will take a long time to log back in."

Yup, new computers on the list, she thought, returning to her desk.

Reno gulped down his drink that had already been left alone since he logged in hours ago. "Laney, do you play Ouch Online?" He twirled it I his hand.

"Used to."

"Then play with me! What's your character?"

"A man."

Reno blinked. "Why?"

"I was a beta player. Sucks when they only have male characters at that time."

"So what's his name?" Reno flipped his cell phone open and rapidly pressed the keypad as Elena said it out loud.


Reno paused, staring at her. "Huh?"


"What're you imitating a moogle for?" Reno scratched his head.

"My character's name is Kupo, dammit," Elena said through gritted teeth. "Laugh."



"Ahh…" Reno repeated. He turned away and muffled his laughs and finally subsided with clearing his throat. "I sent a notice to Mistressmateria about a new recruit named Kupo. Get going, Laney." Reno ushered her back to her desk, forcing her to sit.

"Alright, I'll play."

It's been months since Elena last double clicked the icon. She was entering the world of lies, fun and where stupidity can be witnessed at every single act and sentence. Not that she had anything against it … To her, it's hard to adjust to the tempo. Clear blue sky and green everywhere, the forever pest-free towns and cities – the lies. Not everything is like that. Virtual people walking past, chat bubbles appearing on top of their heads, emoticons and minigames by the Game Master – the fun. The last one, stupidity – which she find cute at times. Annoying at some point and she couldn't care less most of the time – the way people shorten, redecorate or create words.

She never found anyone speak 'HONOZ I ISH GOT CARAMELDANSEN LOLELEVENs' in real life. Maybe there were and she would either miss them doing so or never paid attention, but real life is harsher than anything. Gaming is a sort of escapism. Setting aside her critical self, Elena took a deep breath and mentally crossed her fingers.

She was finally in.

Who was she supposed to see again? Something-materia. She didn't need to look for the person. Mistressmateria was dressed like any other assassin would, albeit shorter.

Mistressmateria: found yah. accept invitation, kupo XD

Kupo joined the guild.

Mistressmateria: hay guys welcome kupo lol. newb.

Kupo: Hi. :)

Mistressmateria: Hiiiiiiiiiiiiii :DDDDD

Sweetnadine: welcome. :) supposed to be OTL, one too lawlified, but our guild leader Mistressmateria messed up. :D

pinkhearts: hello, Kupo, welcome to One Too Many. omigod I sound like a moogle with the kupo. xD

ViVi: hi there. hey mat, stop holding down the bloody key. it's annoying i swear.

This does not look so good for Elena. She wasn't expecting everyone to welcome her in a friendly manner. People like those are hard to ignore. They were just too nice.

Mistressmateria: i'd spot if you got my name right. ;))))

Mistressmateria: stop*

Sweetnadine: lol

pinkhearts: lol

pinkhearts: o yea, nad.

Sweetnadine: /?

ViVi: anyone seen lightning anywhere?

Lightning logged in.

Lightning: Sry im late.

pinkhearts: y r u so quiet? ):

Lightning: chased by wild dogs. lucky enough to still have my legs intact.

Sweetnadine: about that. i need help, pinkhearts. you see,

Sweetnadine: can we talk in private?

pinkhearts: okay :D. is it about him again?

Mistressmateria: HAHAHALOLOMG u got chased by dogs?

ViVi: wth did u do?

Sweetnadine: WHAT him?

pinkhearts: oh, sorry it's supposed to be a secret, right?. _ just don't cut your wrists off. maybe i can help.

Lightning: stfu, mat.

Sweetnadine and pinkhearts started a Private Chat.

At this point, Elena found the guild Reno was in was pretty amusing. Granted, Reno chose a lively guild to hang out with. Maybe that's why he was always looking forward to get lost in time playing that game. She was like that once but she'd decided that watching the others was more fun.

ViVi: she doesn't listen, man

Mistressmateria: IMB0rd8D entertain meh

Lightning: i got fed up. wonder how u put up with that

ViVi: i don't.

Mistressmateria: wana go quets??

Mistressmateria: *quest

Lightning: yeah i'll go. i need to lvl. Stuck at 135 since days ago.

ViVi: me too. I ned exp. lol, i'm also 135. lessee who gets to 150 first.

Lightning: why 150? Max lvl is 255.

ViVi: mat said she'll give smth who reached 5 lvls around her.

Lightning: /pif ya rly? 0: Lord of the Ufo n I hacked d server n found out respawn for OmgItzSeph. exp worth it.

ViVi: where's he?

Lightning: close nuff.

Mistressmateria: cool. wanna level, kupo?

Mistressmateria: poopie, pinkhearts is right. i sound liek a moogle. kupokupokupokupopo. POPOPOPOLMAO

Kupo: Yes and stop that, please.

RUFUS logged in.

RUFUS: BACK YO XD miss me? hey kupo ;D

Kupo: Hi.

Mistressmateria: YAR LATE LOL no, did not. for once. proud of it. :)

Mistressmateria: we'r gona go lvl with some boss Lightning thinks he found the location at.

Mistressmateria: where's the wizard ? u bully him again? If u do, i'll report u for ban so there. :)))

RUFUS: D: i aint bullying him. he's busy atm. so where's the boss monster?

Kupo: Rufus.

Mistressmateria: ask lightning if u care. 8D

RUFUS: nu I d0nt and kupo. whut?

Kupo: What the hell are you doing with that name?

RUFUS: it's my name duh.

Mistressmateria: yea lol doh.

RUFUS: it's duh, guild leader.

Mistressmateria: homer said doh. 8D

RUFUS: wtfever.

Lightning: let's mosey. are those two done?

ViVi: who?

Mistressmateria: everyone ready? puko u?

Lightning: hearts and nadine.

Mistressmateria: kupo* lol

ViVi: oh. duno.

Kupo: /sigh /otl

Sweetnadine and pinkhearts ended Private Chat.

pinkhearts: yes, boss! :D

Sweetnadine: U said mosey. ))): I disapprove. Lord of the Ufo said to use 'move out'.

Lightning: D:

Lightning: whatever. /sigh

Lightning: move out.

Mistressmateria: HEY i'm the guild leader! DDD:

Sweetnadine: yay :D

Lightning: i'm still the party leader. Kupo, accept that.

Kupo joined the party asdfghjklol.

Mistressmateria: YES kupo's here! 8DDD I SO HAPPY


Mistressmateria: kupo!

Mistressmateria: kupopopo KUUUUPOOOO sounds cute lawl

Elena winced. Must she remind the guild leader every time not to stupidly say her name in a way that's not recognizable? She was beginning to feel ViVi's and Lightning's pain. Reno – RUFUS, didn't seem to care. Maybe he's in cahoots with that Mistressmateria girl.

ViVi: mat. shut up, thank u.

Sweetnadine: lol

Mistressmateria: u can't make me cuz i'm ur overlord!! XD

pinkhearts: haha. /lol

ViVi blocked Chat with Mistressmateria.

ViVi: now THAT'S hahaworth.

Lightning: u're evil, know that?

Mistressmateria: what did he say?

ViVi: i know, lightning.

RUFUS: lolyeah even i don't do that.

Mistressmateria: WHAT HE SAY???

pinkhearts: lol that's coz u, rufus, hav a thing for Mistressmateria's nonexistent sexy butt.

Sweetnadine: ass

Mistressmateria:awww reeeeeallyyyy? i'm flattered. :DDDDDDDD GLOMPAGE yall

pinkhearts: butt

Sweetnadine: ass

pinkhearts: butt

Sweetnadine: ass

Mistressmateria: lol, look at those two.

Lightning: lol

pinkhearts: butt xD

ViVi: ha


RUFUS: hey, i do care XD

Sweetnadine: then choose ASS.

pinkhearts: haha butt.

RUFUS: haaay kno what?

RUFUS: i can sell apples nao. (y) (y)

RUFUS: and yes, butt. no, ass. i mean, yes to ass.

ViVi: that no one cares, rufus. deal with it.

Mistressmateria: i care about all my members' wellbeing. Better thank me and mai sexy ass. ;3

Lightning: tell me about it.

Kupo: Oh really, Rufus? Perhaps you should level on your own than letting people tank you.

Lightning: now why did I join this guild again? /otl

RUFUS: don't be such a grammarpunctuation phr3ek kupo. XD

Mistressmateria: Good Question, Lightning. I Wonder Why. Bling-Bling Question Indeed. :D


RUFUS: XDXDXD lmfao kupo.

No one said anything for a moment. Elena could imagine the awkwardness that would come if Lightning were to log out that instant or to play it cool. If Lightning were to delete his character with all the hard-earned experience points and start over with a new identity, he'd be the newb of the party.

Lightning: srsly. stfu or i kick u out of this party.

Elena chuckled. That must hurt Sweetnadine for sure. Talking about Sweetnadine, she didn't say a word. Too shocked, perhaps? It matters not. Elena wondered how far they would go with their carefree attitude. As far as she was concerned, OmgItzSeph was a new monster. It might have much more buff than the other bosses.

Mistressmateria: C8 loser loozer. lolzer. Lightning is a LUCER!!!1

RUFUS: kupo u sound liek smoething's up ur ass. rly.

Mistressmateria: crap. nuuuuuuuu dont!1111

Sweetnadine: haha mistressmateria don't piss lightning off

pinkhearts: /hmm. ouch kupo?

ViVi: exactly

RUFUS: lol definitely an ouch. for kupo and lightning. his girl's ignored him already. poor girl. no, poor him. XD

Kupo: /sigh

Kupo: Yeah, ouch.

RUFUS: the whole point of the game :D

Kupo: But you don't have to insult me.

Lightning: bloody ccccc hell.

Lightning: crap, sorry.

Sweetnadine: keyboard acting up? 0:

Lightning: yea. /swt

Elena grinned. The whole group had distanced away from the two of them. Saves the boy from being more nervous than he already is.

And so, the rowdy group went to their designated place, the Castle Meteor. Castle Meteor… How it got that name, they never wondered, it seemed to Elena as she played along with them but something inside her tugged hard hearing that. The name sounds ominous enough. Déjà vu much? Elena shook her head as observed some more.

ViVi had finally unblocked Mistressmateria under Lightning's order. That girl couldn't seem to shut up even if she was told to. But to Elena, it's much better that way. The party was much livelier with her random spelling mistakes. The party spent the time talking to each other, earning experience points as they went through the maze inside the castle. Finally, Lighting told them it was almost the time for the boss respawn when they reached the top floor.

Lightning: hearts.

pinkhearts: Okaaai :D Ouchword: God Mode Turn On!

Party buff initiated.

pinkhearts: done! Yey. :3

Mistressmateria: I R TEH INVINCIBLE!!11111

ViVi: i regret unblocking her.

pinkhearts: haha


RUFUS: chill dude

Lightning: wtf mat.

ViVi: shit here it comes

Sweetnadine: sorry guys, I go afk a couple of minutes.

It appeared normally as Elena expected it to be. First, phantomlike, the background still see-through. Then the colors solidified; black outfit, long silver hair and his recognizable weapon in hand.

"What the fuck…" Elena heard Reno mutter that. "A merchandise?"

Elena was thinking the same thing.


Mistressmateria: drtidcirdyc6id7t5gr5tjyyjhusdksdsddsfiaaicufnaliwgailwug

Lightning: mat quit it

Mistressmateria: can't help it. that retard's back. i'm shocked.

ViVi: and that made you punch the keyboard? grow up. this is a game.

OmgItzSeph: No, it isn't.

RUFUS: great another mr perfeckt english.

RUFUS throws a basket of tomatoes.

75 damage to OmgItzSeph.

ViVi: that thing just back talked me. should I be scared?



pinkhearts: don't worry vv. prolly just the server talking

OmgItzSeph deals 9990 damage to pinkhearts.

pinkhearts got owned.

pinkhearts: onoz. i forgot to buff myself. _

Mistressmateria: noo000 hearts!!!11one i need ur bufferz!!!1

pinkhearts: later, all of you. my time's up.

OmgItzSeph: Prepare to die, puppet. It's your turn next.

Lightning: shit.

OmgItzSeph deals 3356 damage to Lightning.

Lightning: why can't it be someone else first?

Lightning deals 4568 damage to OmgItzSeph.

Reno let out a 'pfft'. He lughed out loud "What was that? Puppet?" he managed. "Now where have I heard that before? Ah, Teef, of course," he said. "I remember days ago she was talking how that psycho had a thing for blonds. You should watch out, Laney."

OmgItzSeph deals 5122 damage to ViVi.

Mistressmateria uses Full Strip to OmgItzSeph.

Elena rolled her eyes. Right. Blonds.

Mistressmateria Mugs OmgItzSeph.

No item available.

RUFUS: HAHAHA that's cos u juts stripped him.

ViVi deals 4226 damage to OmgItzSeph.

The Sephiroth monster stopped halfway dueling Lightning and suddenly homed in to Elena's character, Kupo and did something unexpected.

OmgItzSeph: Cloud.

Kupo, a male character, blonde, spiky hair – spiky down to the shoulder blades – a shortass, had become the prime target of the boss monster. Only now, that fact seemed to evaporate. It said 'Cloud' like it has its own free will. Could there be someone controlling it?

Reno fell off his chair this time and looked like he just lost three precious oxygen tanks just by laughing his ass off. Practically. A thing for blonds. One might think Sephiroth bleached his hair too much that he envied blonds because he never got it. It was exactly what Reno had in mind. That and the half parting just like Aerith's. The length, oh the length, it was barely past Tifa's in the beginning. That silver-haired man died in jealousy for hairdos. That notion made him lost another oxygen tank. RUFUS was motionless in the screen.

"Damn, I'mma take a break," he said after clearing his throat. After a small ding from his speakers, Reno exited the room.

RUFUS opens up a shop.

Sweetnadine: back. :D where's hearts?

Mistressmateria: wcb nadster! lightning sed he misses u much. XDDD

Mistressmateria: she's ded. back in town i gess. LOLOOLOLLOOL

Lightning deals 4527 damage to Mistressmateria.

Kupo: Anyone wanna pwn this thing?

Kupo deals 2764 damage to OmgItzSeph.

ViVi deals 3021 damage to OmgItzSeph.

Mistressmateria: HEEEEY D:

MistressMateria deals 3348 damage to OmgItzSeph.

Lightning: stop spreading lies.

Mistressmateria: Tiiiifaaaaaaaa Lightning's calling me names!!!111 DDD8 pwn him for me. do it for your guild leader.

Lightning: wtf I didn't.

Lightning: wait

Sweetnadine deals 4445 damage to OmgItzSeph.

Sweetnadine: my level's just the same as his. -_-''' kinda useless.

Lightning: Tifa?

Exactly what Elena thought. Wait, what? Tifa? For real? She plays too?

Mistressmateria: i'll strip him 4 u. X'D

Sweetnadine: -_-

A-ha. Elena snickered. Tifa and Yuffie. So the gunman in red, ViVi should be Valentine, no? That was too easy… Anyways, back to the boss, she had no idea what to do than being bait. Maybe just kill him off with ViVi?

ViVi: guys quit yapping. where the hell did kupo bring that boss?

ViVi misses.

Lightning: /…

Lightning: Yuffie?

MIstressmateria: yo rufusss u there?

Lightning: the hell.

RUFUS: back. what do I miss?

Lightning: tif i didn't know u play this too lol.

Sweetnadine: do i know you?

Sweetnadine: in real life, i mean.

OmgItzSeph: Let me take away the thing you hold dear.

By now Elena was panic-stricken. OmgItzSeph had activated berserk. Dying means losing experience points – which pinkhearts didn't seem to mind at all. She better think of something quick. She mentally cursed herself for suddenly getting hooked back onto gaming. Sephiroth flew to their direction. Just how many lives does that man have?

Mistressmateria: zomgwtfpwnbbq. teh old style HAHA lfmaomomnomnomnom /omg

Kupo: I'm a woman. Back off or I'll spit at you.

Kupo: /spit

Lightning: yeah. i'm cloud.

That seemed to do the trick. Plus Lightning's surprise. Elena switched her keyboard to battle mode. Every key was now a command to all the skills she had mastered.


Kupo destroyed OmgItzSeph.

Experience points: party share.

Mistressmateria: YAY EXP!!!1eleven

Lightning: hey tif, can you come here a sec?

Sweetnadine: sure.

Lightning logged off.

Sweetnadine: bye guys :D

Mistressmateria: byeeee :DDDDDD

Sweetnadine logged off.

ViVi: i duno any blond woman.

Mistressmateria: the only blond i knw is Elena and Barbie.

Mistressmateria: new skill! :DDD

Mistressmateria Stalks Kupo.

ViVi: wth

Mistressmateria: AHHH IT IS YOO, RITE ELENA??? XDD

Kupo: facepalm Yes, it's me. Elena.

RUFUS: HAHAHAHA 500 gils for me laney!!1

ViVi: and that's Reno. /sigh he's useless here.

Kupo: I never agreed to anything. :P

RUFUS: u guessed it! XD useless my ass. i sell appleplets.

RUFUS: *apples

RUFUS: whut r u vivi, moogle? /lol

Kupo: He's Valentine.

RUFUS: f'real?

Announcement: Please take note there will be a major wipeout in ten minutes. Please enjoy your last moments. We will start the server after maintenance.

ViVi: yea

ViVi: gg everyone.

Mistressmateria: LOLZ I HAD FUN laney u shud paly tommorw too kk? x3

Kupo: Hm… Okay, then.

RUFUS: LOL missed all teh fun.

Mistressmateria: ur title will be loozer no. 2. :DDDDD

ViVi: lol


All four of them chatted until they got disconnected. Reno gave a heavy sigh of relief. "I can now sell apples and oranges."

Elena laughed as she stretched her arms. "Oh, really? That's an achievement, huh?"

"Damn right. So far I've only concentrated on attack skills."

"So Reno, what are you gonna do next? Ouch isn't available at the moment."

"Eat. I'm starved."

"You did nothing for today," said Elena, her eyes narrowed, "at least clear up your desk."

At some parts of Reno's desk were pens and pencils in need of a pencil holder, tissues at different stages of decomposing, cigarette butts, more of those and bottle caps. She didn't want to know what's in his drawers. Maybe even worst. Reno whined for a moment but obeyed and dragged the wastebasket closer to his desk as he shoved a great deal of almost everything to it.

"Do you think someone's playing OmgItzSeph?" Elena asked, reading her report that she was about to send to Tseng.

"Prolly," Reno laughed. "He was all over you."

Elena rolled up the papers she was holding and whacked his head. "Proper English, please. I'm gonna bitch about it in real life so there."

"Okay, okay."