In The Shower

Authors: MoonStarDutchess and OTP

Oneshot

Disclaimer: We claim no ownership to Fullmetal Alchemist and gain no profit from this fanfiction.

AN: Back again with an oneshot. The song Roy is singing can be found in the end of Volume 12 of the Fullmetal Alchemist Manga.



In The Shower

Riza frowned as sunlight hit her eyes, telling her that another day had arrived. She would have called it the usual morning if it weren't for the fact that she was hearing humming.

Where in the hell is that sound coming from? She thought as she attempted to shift under the covers only to be stopped by a pair of arms folded around her body.

"Roy, what are you doing?" she questioned, elbowing him slightly, causing him to loosen his grasp a bit so that she could turn to face him. She looked at his face and saw that he was wide-awake and grinning happily.

"Oh, just humming," he said listlessly.

"You've never hummed before. You must have really enjoyed our activities last night," she said, surprising Roy slightly when he heard the reference to their sexual encounter.

"Of course I enjoyed last night, I always enjoy nights I spend with you, Riza. Today just seems...different somehow. I can't really explain it, I just feel really relaxed and happy," he said shrugging his shoulders.

"Probably also because you have the day off," she said with a small smile, as she ran her hand along his cheek gently. She turned her head to glance at the clock and saw it was time for her to get up and get ready for work. She turned back to Roy and kissed him. "I have to get up. I don't have the day off," she said, trying to sit up straight but failing.

Roy wrapped his arms around her waist, pulled her back down to the bed, and buried his face in her hair. "You can call in and tell them you're sick. If you do that you can spend the day with me instead of hanging around in that stuffy, boring office doing a bunch of pencil pushing," he mumbled suggestively into her ear. "We could have some more fun."

Riza was extremely tempted to do as he said. Her body was telling her to stay, her heart was telling her to stay but her common sense and sense of duty was telling her to go to work. She found herself shaking her head. "If I don't go in Havoc will be in control and the office would be too chaotic. I'll come back for lunch later if you want." She sat up and clutched the covers to her body.

He sighed dramatically. "Fine, if you have to...." he said, sitting up and putting on a kicked-puppy look.

"I'll be back at lunch time," Riza said. Roy reached up to her face and pulled her closer, kissing her passionately, inwardly hoping she'd change her mind. She pulled away and grinned. "Lunch Roy," she stated, standing from the bed and going to take a shower. He sat on the bed as she came out, got dressed, left the room, and then the apartment.

Roy frowned and sat there in the silence of his apartment for a moment before relenting himself to a boring day until Riza came back. Roy then stood from the bed and walked into the bathroom. He flipped on the radio in there, letting the music fill the room as he stepped into the shower.

He began singing along with the music on the radio as he reached for the soap. "Snap snap snap snap my fingers Snap snap snap snap my fingers," he sang while snapping his fingers with the beat.

The acoustics in the bathroom were perfect for his good singing voice, though the song left much to be desired. Roy didn't see Riza standing there at the doorway, staring at him and trying to hold back the laughter that threatened to burst forth. On the way to work, her hair clip broke and she her spare was in the bathroom. For once, she was so glad she'd forgotten something. What she was seeing was a once in a lifetime moment.

Roy continued to sing still not realizing that he had an audience. "Who's the man that's gonna be the president of all the land? The Flame Alchemist. My dream is to have miniskirt harem. Who's that hot dude, standing in front of the mirror, snapping his fingers striking a pose! Uh-huh. That's me. The Flame Alchemist..."

Riza bit her lip and moved slightly out of the doorway, as Roy did a dramatic spin as if he was performing at a rock concert, then moon walked. It was very impressive yet extremely funny considering he was naked and covered with soap.

He held up the scrubber to his face like a microphone. "I'm gonna light your heart on fire, baby," he said then made a sizzling sound. "My heart is a raging inferno, oh yeah. Disco Inferno!" He spun and did a disco pose. "And tonight, baby, it's burning hotter than ever. Like a flamethrower!"

Riza let a bit of air escape her mouth and nose, being careful not to release any noise. How did he think of such a ridiculous song?

"Snap, crackle, and pop, baby. It's my burning love. Oh yeah!" He punched the air. "My love's gone and burned up all the oxygen in the room. Thermodynamics!" He bobbed his head in time with the beat. "This one goes out to you, the girl in the mirage. An illusion, baby!" he waved his hand in front of his face.

Riza covered her mouth and a slight noise leaving her this time. She was relieved that Roy had yet to notice her; she wanted to hear the rest of his song.

"You know who I am. I'm Roy Mustang! Then that's all right." He slowly turned around. "I'm a colonel, baby. And this colonel's about to pop! You mean 'kernel?'" Roy was now facing Riza; his eyes still closed and continued to belt out the lyrics. He slowly opened his eyes as he sang. "You like breasts, huh? Well, I'm a thigh man!" his eyes opened fully and he stopped dead, his eyes widening in horror upon seeing Riza before him.

Riza finally let all of the laughter bubbling inside her go, it leaving out of her in waves of amusement, tears springing from her eyes. She walked a bit closer, put down the toilet seat, and sat down, gasping for breath and trying to get some words out of her mouth.

"Oh my god Roy! That was the funniest thing I've ever seen!"

She continued to laugh until it slowly faded into some chuckles

He stared at her. "Umm, how long were you standing there?" he asked nervously.

"From the snap," she said, snapping once, "to the thigh man," she said, lifting her uniform skirt for emphasis. She stood and laughed once again as she saw the terrified look on Roy's face.

Roy groaned, hiding his face behind his hand. "This is so embarrassing! Why didn't you tell me you were standing there?"

"And cut off your naked concert? I wouldn't have the heart to do that," she joked. "Besides, you were enjoying yourself and just so into it!"

Roy's face flushed. "That's because I didn't think that there was anyone here," he muttered and started to rinse off the soap on his body, trying to maintain his manly pride in front of Riza.

Riza reached in the shower to rub his head. "It's alright. We'll forget about it. I promise I won't tell if you promise me one thing."

He gazed at her with eyes filled with hope. "Name it."

"Don't make up any more ridiculous songs about yourself," she said, leaning in to kiss his nose gently.


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