I.

Penny squinted through the windshield, attempting not to run into the car in front of her. She loved the rain, but whenever it fell in California people forgot how to drive.

"Crazy bastards."

She turned onto Euclid avenue.

Bump.

She was still in resent mode for having to do this at all. Sheldon was a big boy, why couldn't he find his own ride home from work? Just because Leonard was doing his once-every-three-years pilgrimage home shouldn't mean Penny was responsible for his roommate.

Bump.

Her wipers cleaned the shield for a moment before becoming completely covered again. Penny flipped off the air conditioner and turned on the radio. The two hosts were in the middle of what was supposedly witty banter about how this was the end of the world. Penny silently thanked her mother for raising them in Nebraska, something which she never thought she'd be grateful for.

Bump.

She pulled into the Caltech parking lot and, with some difficulty, found his assigned spot. Taking a deep breath, Penny pushed open her door and ran for it as fast as she could without the threat of losing one of her new flip flops to a puddle. Once inside the building, she turned to the right, hoping she was going the right direction. She'd only been in these halls once before. She passed a cluster of people who were lurking in a doorway, smiling at them. They all in turn gave her looks she would expect if she were alien. She turned another corner and finally recognized her surroundings. A minute later, she was standing outside his office, watching him work.

He was at his whiteboard, scribbling furiously for several moments before stopping and staring at. Penny suddenly got the feeling she was on safari.

Here is the rarely seen Intelligent Male, endangered now, in his natural habitat.

"Are you just going to stand there and watch me?" he asked, not looking up from his work.

"I was thinking about it," she answered, stepping into his small office. He turned to acknowledge her existence briefly before turning back to his board.

"There seems to be something wrong with your shirt," he noted.

Penny glanced down and gasped. No wonder the scientist guys in the hallway had been giving her funny looks. The thin pale yellow tee she'd chosen this morning, one of her favorites, was soaked through, giving everyone she came in contact with a great view of her lace-trimmed demi bra. That too was one of her favorites, since it was low cut enough to wear with her sluttier tops and the lace rubbed against in a way she found particularly pleasing.

It had been a long time for her after all.

"Forgive me for asking this, but are you aroused right now?"

"Excuse me?" she asked indignantly.

"I happened to notice that your nipples appear to be erect, meaning you are either in a state of arousal or about to breast feed an infant," he stated, continuing to neatly print on his board. "Since I figured the second was unlikely, I was taking a guess with the first option."

"That is really inappropriate, Sheldon." She crossed her arms over her chest and walked over to stand next to him. "It's pouring out," she finally said. "I'm cold."

He gave her a sideways glance before taking a step to his left, putting some space between them. "If you paid any attention to your local forecast, you would know it was going to rain today."

He went on, rambling at length about the art of meteorology. But Penny was no longer listening. She was watching him write. His long-sleeved shirt was pushed up to his elbows, and she suddenly couldn't look away. She was hardly ever in a position to actually see them working. His arms were more toned than she would have guessed. His prone fingers wrapped around the dry-erase marker with ease and strength.

Wow.

"-in luck, as I happen to be in possession of an umbrella." He turned and gave her a smug grin.

"Huh?"

He rolled his eyes and capped his marker. Penny shook herself, trying to regain some control over her libido. Seriously, the day she starts wanting to do things to Sheldon was the day to break down and buy some new batteries.

"I said," he spoke up, drawing her eyes back to his tall form, "that I have an umbrella here."

He smiled again and produced a large yellow umbrella. Penny stuck her hand out toward him, waiting for him to hand it over. He pulled it away, sliding it behind his back.

"Why should you get to use it?" he asked, frowning at her. "You're clearly already wet. This is my umbrella, Penny."

Penny narrowed her eyes at him, but he just steadily stared back at her, a defiant twinkle in his eyes. Throwing caution to the wind, Penny stepped forward and threw her arms around his neck, trying to pull the umbrella from his grasp.

That was probably a bad idea, in retrospect.

Suddenly, Penny was pressed against him from shoulder to thigh. His tiny squeak of surprise barely registered with her, as she was fully immersed in the sensation of having his sturdy chest rubbing against her already clearly turgid nipples. She inhaled sharply before meeting his gaze.

He looked terrified.

She quickly grabbed the umbrella from his slack grip and stepped away from him. "I get the umbrella," Penny finally said with false bravado. "Unless you want to come get it from me?" She quirked an eyebrow at him and extended her arm toward him.

They were both soaked by the time they reached her car.

II.

She stood in his doorway, clad in her Cheesecake Factory uniform. Sheldon was hunched over his desk, writing in one of his little black and white notebooks. He chewed his lower lip, deep in concentration.

"Hey brainiac," she said, knocking on the wood trim. "You ready to go? My shift starts in half an hour and I can't be late. Mark already wants to fire me."

"Why don't you let him?" he asked, rising from his chair and starting the process of shutting down his computer.

Penny sighed, stepping into the office. "Because I need to have another real job before I quit this one." Her eye caught on two objects sitting on his desk. "What's up with the fork and knife?" she asked, picking the fork up.

"Please put that down," he scolded without looking at her.

"Do you eat in here like some strange hermit guy?" she asked, pointing the fork at him.

He glowered at her, taking a step forward. "No," he answered. "I eat in the dining room at a table with Leonard and Wolowitz and Koothropali."

"I see," she responded, not really seeing.

"And sometimes Barry Kripke, if there isn't any other room available."

"Sweetie, that doesn't really explain why you have flatware in your office."

"I bring my own eating utensils from home," he finally explained, pulling his messenger bag over his head. Penny watched his fingers work against the strap cutting across his chest. She bit her lower lip.

"Any particular reason?" she asked, trying not to smile.

"I've seen the kitchen help, it's a judgment call."

"You're one of a kind." She smirked at him.

"Please put it down," he repeated, staring pointedly at the fork she still held.

She was feeling feisty though, and this was as close to foreplay as she'd been in a long time.

"Or what?" she asked, cocking a hip out and waggling her eyebrows at him challengingly.

He took another step forward and grabbed the arm that held the fork. His thumb danced across the pulse point in her wrist. She stopped breathing. His grip was firm, but gentle. It was as close as Sheldon had ever willingly been to her, and Penny was feeling the effects to a ridiculous degree.

"Put it down," he said, his voice going into a lower register than he usually used.

She was so fast in returning it to it's spot she was sure he'd used some sort of Jedi mind trick on her.

III.

"What time is your audition?" he asked conversationally.

"Ten tomorrow."

"Are you sufficiently prepared?"

She gave him a sideways glower. "Are you offering to help me run lines, Dr. Cooper?"

"No," he scoffed, rolling his eyes. "I am just trying to gauge how drunk you're going to be tomorrow night when I'm setting up your new website software."

"I don't always drink too much," she frowned.

Bump.

"You could drive slower, you know."

"I know," she answered flatly.

Bump.

"So, Leonard and I are going out tonight." She snuck a glance over at him. He was staring resolutely at the road.

"Yes, he told me."

Her jaw tightened. "He did?"

"Yes."

"What's with the single syllable words all of a sudden?" she asked.

He turned and gave her a hard look. She could see his brain clearly working.

Bump.

"This thing between the two of you isn't going to work out," he finally said. "And we're all going to end up paying for this gross lapse in judgment on both of your parts." He looked down and fiddled with the strap on his messenger bag.

"It could work out," she shot back defensively.

He glanced back over at Penny, his eyes cutting through her. Penny reflexively reached forward to flip on the air conditioner. It was overly cold, but felt good on her suddenly heated skin.

"Unlikely."

IV.

"Hello," he greeted her, smiling tightly.

She shot him a look that said she thought he was crazy. "Hi."

"Thank you for picking me up." He was quiet today, not really meeting her eyes.

"Sure," she shrugged, leaning against his desk. He looked like he wanted to reprimand her, but said nothing. Penny furrowed her brow in concern. He never censored himself around her. "What's up?" she asked conversationally.

"Nothing," he answered slowly.

"Why are you being weird then?" she persisted as she straightened up and crossed her arms over her chest. He watched her carefully for longer than she felt comfortable with. She simply raised her eyebrows in anticipation.

"I heard you last night."

"Huh?"

He rolled his eyes and turned his back to her and busied himself with a stack of paper. "I said I heard you last night. With Leonard."

Oh.

Oh.

Penny felt her face go red and swallowed over the lump in her throat. "Oh."

Sheldon turned back to her, a challenge in his eyes. "Yes."

"Sorry?"

"Are you?"

Penny's eyes went wide. "Excuse me?" She advanced on him menacingly. "Are you actually implying that I was having loud amazing sex with my boyfriend so you would purposely hear me?"

Sheldon narrowed his eyes at her, but she could still see the glint there. "I'm suggesting that you're overly vocal performance could possibly be a result of the conversation we had recently, in which I implied you were unhappy in your current relationship."

Penny licked her lips slowly and watched as his eyes moved downward unconsciously.

She smiled.

"Did it work?"

Sheldon shook his head, clearly confused by what she was asking.

"If I were to have done that, just for the benefit of his psychotic roommate….In theory, would it have worked?"

"Penny…." He tried to step past her and out of the doorway, but she blocked him.

"No, you brought this up, Sheldon." She planted herself firmly in front of him, just far enough away from him that they didn't touch. "You wouldn't have brought it up if you didn't want me to know you were listening."

"And you wouldn't have been practicing your fake orgasm noises at such a decibel if you weren't intent on me hearing it."

They stood, simply staring at each other. She watched him closely and she realized this moment really was a testament to how well she knew him, for better or worse. Because someone else might not have noticed the pink tinge his cheeks gained. She felt a spike of adrenaline shoot through her. She tried not to jump up and down. "Sorry," she finally said. She was valiantly trying to bite back a smile. "It won't happen again."

That night, she told her boyfriend she had a headache.

Also, every night after that.

V.

It was an honor. Everyone had told him several times already. He merely waved his hand, disregarding them. She understood. He didn't need a consolation prize. Didn't want a consolation prize. He wanted something better, and Sheldon was never happy if he didn't get what he wanted.

They'd taken a quick detour to his office upon his insistence that the plaque be delivered straightaway. The other boys had gone home, all slightly tipsy and excited for their friend. Sheldon however, had been quiet all night, more low-key than he usually was when not on antihistamine.

Penny watched him survey the walls, searching for a spot to hang it. How he managed to always be going, thinking she would never understand. He paused a few feet from her, considering his options. She saw her opportunity and suddenly, she was in his personal space, always worming her way into his life. He narrowed his eyes at her and she felt her heartbeat pick up.

"Where are you going to put it?" she asked, trying not to smile. He looked over at her, his gaze even and unwavering. Penny felt heat starting to coil in her stomach.

His tongue darted out and licked his lips.

Penny took at deep breath and reached up to stand on her tiptoes in front of him, her warm breath whispering over his mouth.

And she waited, just like always.

Waiting for him.

He moved the last inch and they met heated and hurried. His lips slid against hers, still slightly unpracticed but with an amazing learning curve. She pulled back from him and she was climbing onto his desk. If he wanted to say something about her disrupting his work, his life, he quelled it and instead seized her mouth again, leaning his body against her in a way that caused Penny to groan. She let her legs fall open and he settled between them, still completely focused on her mouth. It wasn't until Penny let her hand slide down the front of his pants that Sheldon seemed to come back to himself.

It was he who pulled away this time, looking at her with a mix of curiosity and desperation. She winked at him and chuckled before pulling harshly on his tie. He came to her easily, tilting his head to the right to more fully engage in their increasingly sloppy kisses. This time when Penny caressed him through his dress slacks, he didn't move away, seemingly content with making some strangled animal noise in the back of his throat instead.

Penny chuckled again.

His hand was on her hip, shaking slightly. With what, Penny didn't know, wouldn't ask. Sheldon had already spent too much of his life talking, talking, talking. She covered his hand and moved it down her thigh to the hemline of her dress. She saw the glint appear in his eyes as he took her hint and retraced their path alone, this time out of sight. His fingers were quicker, surer than Penny was expecting from him, even in the hurried state they were currently in. He was already boldly touching his thumb to the spot on her panties that was wet. Penny whimpered and Sheldon shot his eyes up to meet hers. She quickly licked her lips and nodded her head. All at once, Penny lifted her hips off the desk as Sheldon pulled her underwear down her legs before carefully folding them and slipping them into the pocket of his pants. Penny almost came on the spot at the sight of that.

His hand was back quickly, fingertips brushing over her mound. Penny pushed her hips toward him and this time, it was Sheldon who chuckled. She murmured his name and was rewarded by the feeling of two long, strong fingers pressing against her, into her. He was still a beginner, but was much more confident than he'd been the first time they'd done this. She moaned in appreciation, reveling in the feel of his fingers, those amazing fingers inside of her. She was ready for him. In all honesty, she'd been ready since she'd seen him walk into the room earlier tonight in his tuxedo.

"So wet," he noted in awe.

Hands slightly shaking, Penny grasped the metal tab of his zipper and yanked it down. Sheldon's eyes bulged slightly in surprise, but he recovered quickly. She unbuttoned the fly on his boxer briefs and pulled him out to fully grasp him, causing a breathy gasp from Sheldon.

"Penny," he whispered in a choked tone.

They both fumbled momentarily. And then suddenly, there he was, at her entrance. Penny leaned back on her elbows, watching his eyes go infinitely darker.

"Fuck me," she said in a low voice.

He made a sort of growling noise and pushed into her quickly, his eyes still locked with hers. He slid in deeply and easily. Her head lolled to the side, letting the sensations wash over her. Sheldon gave them each a moment to adjust to it, pulling her hips toward him to find the best angle for her. When she moaned and writhed beneath him, he pulled out and thrust back in again quickly. The movement caused her to slide away just slightly, but he yanked her back possessively. She squeaked in appreciation at the feel of her body slamming against his. In their haste, he hadn't even managed to drop his pants. They remained stationary, and with every thrust his zipper rubbed against her in a way she found exhilarating. To Penny, it meant Sheldon wanted her so badly he couldn't be bothered with things like actually taking any of his clothes off.

She angled her hips upward more, putting more of her weight on her arms resting behind her and her lower back. She was going to be stiff and sore tomorrow, but right now she couldn't care less. He was slamming himself into her with abandon now, the intense look of concentration on his face that she'd come to understand meant he was close. She brought a hand down to where they were joined, circling her clit as an extra stimulation. Always paying attention to six things at once, Sheldon immediately took her hint and brought his own hand down and batted hers away. He was less sure, obviously less practiced, but the result was just the same and Penny was on the edge. Sheldon fisted his other hand in the bunches of her dress at her hip, which stuck to her sweaty body. She sent out a silent prayer that no one else was walking the halls tonight, because she was sure they would hear what was going on in here. He was groaning loudly now too, letting the sensations take over his brilliant mind. Penny was now throwing herself at him with all the energy she had, a sheen of sweat covering her entire body.

He was going to have to air this office out afterward.

He shifted his weight so he was more fully on top of her, his face much closer to hers now. She reached up, cupping his cheek with her hand. He leaned into her, not slowing his rhythm. She trailed across his face, her fingers grazing his lips. He opened his mouth and allowing her index finger in. He applied pressure to it, and Penny realized it was the finger she'd just been touching herself with.

She came with no warning, her hips shooting off the desk. Her inner muscles clamped around him and he was with her, emptying into her with a throaty groan.

They didn't move for several minutes, catching their breath in the small stuffy room. When her vision cleared, Penny looked up at him, still collapsed on top of her.

"Yeah, that was a good place to put it."

VI.

Penny lifted a box from the desk, glancing around the room. The scrape of shoes behind her announced his return. She turned to look at him. He looked much less uneasy than she would have thought.

"Is that the last one?" he asked, stepping over to her.

"Yeah," she answered. "I think so." Dr. Sheldon Cooper spun three-hundred sixty degrees, looking at the walls within which he'd spent so much of his time. "Are you okay?" she asked, touching his arm. He nodded wordlessly. "Sweetie?"

"I am, yes." He looked down at her. "It helps that you're all here." She put an arm around his waist and squeezed.

"We wouldn't be anywhere else." She looked over at her shoulder at his desk, unable to hide the smile that came to her lips.

"No," he stated firmly, seemingly reading her mind. "We can't."

"We could," she answered.

"The kids are waiting in the car, some people might consider that uncouth." He raised an eyebrow at her.

"Didn't you used to be fun?" she asked, flipping off the light as they left the room.

He stopped, staring at her. "No." She giggled, balancing the box on her outside hip so she could reach over to grasp his hand.

"Isaac is going to want to drive," she warned her husband.

"Well, he has had that permit for several minutes now," Sheldon answered, grinning self-indulgently.

The turned the corner in comfortable silence. "So, what are you going to do tomorrow, doc?"

He opened the door for her and they stepped outside. He smiled at his children, animatedly talking about the newest 'Star Trek' movie. Penny squeezed his arm.

"Change the world in a new way."