This is seriously AU so it's best taken it at face value with a bag of lightly salted Lays chips and Mug root beer or any other kind of root beer really! Remus Lupin can't read Severus Snape's poker face. Sirius is a big fat jerk. PP/RW, HG/VK, DM/HP, RL/SB, SB/LM and finally SS/RL surprise!

Poker Face

'So what are we playing tonight?' Harry asked dropping onto the seat between Draco and Remus after greeting the blonde with a soft kiss that caused Ron to pretend to vomit.

'Don't you have somewhere to be Weasel?' Draco asked scowling half-heartedly at the redhead.

'You're just jealous,' Ron stated smugly.

'Of what?' Sirius asked looking up from the mess of cards in front of him.

'That Pansy left him for me.' Ron's chest seemed to puff out at that statement, causing Harry, Remus and Severus to snort in amusement.

'Alright Weasel someone seems to have miss informed you. I left Pansy for Wonderlust over here and besides didn't Hermione leave you for what was his name oh yeah Viktor Krum.' Draco replied sarcasm oozing from his voice.

'Whatever Ferret,' Ron growled as he stormed out of the house slamming the door shut as he left.

Draco chuckled looking quite pleased with himself, 'I wish you'd stop baiting him,' Harry said softly, the exasperation clear in his voice.

'But it's so easy,' Draco whined.

'Please?' Harry pouted, batting his eyelashes at Draco in just the way that got Draco to agree to anything. Including but not limited to hitting on Hagrid to get Harry out of detention, keeping madam Pince occupied while Harry pilfered the restricted section of the library and finally posing as a girl that claimed to be Dumbledore's long lost daughter. Severus had once fallen prey to it when Harry had wanted to attempt to brew Felix Felicis which had been as disastrous as the books had said. Severus has since become immune. It had never worked on Remus but Sirius however had immediately agreed to stop harassing Ron, though he hadn't actually said anything to the redhead.

Harry's bottom lip began to quiver, 'alright, just put the lip away, I'll stop baiting Weasel,' Draco replied with a resigned sigh. He had tried to resist but the lip was far too powerful, he was going to have to get some pointers from Remus and Severus on how to resist Harry later.

'Thank you,' Harry immediately perked up and pecked Draco's lips softly, his hand however had given his cock a squeeze that promised more.

'So,' Harry settled back in his chair watching as Remus plucked the cards from Sirius and started to deftly shuffle the pack as Sirius watched in awe as he pouted, 'what are we playing?'

'Poker,' Sirius stated accepting the shuffled cards from Remus, 'we're using five cards and the tens are wild.'

As Remus explained the rules to both Sirius and Draco, with Harry tossing in a comment here or there Severus watched his tablemates. Harry and Draco had been going out since the beginning of their fifth year after an incredibly awkward summer as they danced around each other. Severus and Remus had banded together to lock the pair in a room until they could talk to each other again. The young couple hadn't talked to their godfathers for almost a month after that.

Remus and Sirius however had been together for almost 20 years. Though it's been an on again off again relationship for the last 15. Severus couldn't understand why Remus kept accepting Sirius back into his life when all the other man did was seem to hurt him.

Severus himself had no one, he had tried, Lucius, Lily, James, Alice oh he had tried but none of them had been the one. No his one was with someone else. And as Severus won the first hand with a pair of fours he was pretty sure that Remus Lupin couldn't read his poker face.


Four days later the entire house which included Harry, Draco, and Ron were woken by an agonized cry of rage.

'Get out! Get the hell out of my house!' Remus yelled throwing things at the pair that were in his bed. Sirius and Lucius lay in a tangle heap and while Lucius at least looked cowed Sirius looked anything but, in fact Harry thought he looked rather smug.

Sirius sneered, 'it hurts doesn't it?'

'What the hell are you talking about Black?' Remus snarled, hurling something at Sirius that shattered against the wall when Sirius ducked.

'Finding out the one you love is with someone else,' Sirius looked smug, at least as smug as one can look as they clutched a sheet around themselves. 'I came home and found you gone there was no note, nothing.'

'You're a fucking moron, you know that right?' Remus replied startlingly calm.

Sirius just glared at the werewolf.

'You have no idea what last night was do you?' Remus anger seemed to vanish and it was replaced with an almost tangible pain.

Sirius didn't reply but cast a look at Lucius who was openly glaring at Sirius as well as Harry and Draco. Ron it seemed had had enough sense to leave.

'You may be my godfather but that doesn't seem to make you anymore of a moron.' Harry stated before he turned on his heel and stormed off.

'It was a full moon moron,' Draco informed him before following after Harry, somewhere a door slammed.

Sirius paled, 'I'm sorry I listened to you,' Lucius sneered. 'I'm sorry Remus, he told me you had left him and I was incredibly drunk. I know it's not a very good excuse but it's the only one I have, I never would have slept with him otherwise.' Lucius explained to Remus who looked just as betrayed by Lucius as he was with Sirius.

'Please Lucius just go away right now.' Remus pleaded, closing his eyes.

With a one last saddened look at Remus and a glare for Sirius, Lucius left whether to find his son and apologize or to just go home they didn't know, nor did they particularly care.

'Remus, baby,' Sirius began.

'Don't start Black,' Remus cut him off and Sirius flinched at the use of his last name, 'we're done, like we should have been the first time I found you with Peter.'

Sirius blanched, 'Remy.'

'You don't get to call me that now get out!' Remus shouted, 'take all your shit and get the hell out. I never want to see you again!' Sirius' things seemed to gain a life of their own as they began to fly around the room. Remus took a deep breath and the clothing dropped to floor. 'Just pack your stuff and get out,' he said in resignation as he moved to leave.

'Remy, I'm sorry,' Sirius pleaded once more.

Remus stopped in the doorway, head held high he didn't turn around, 'It's too late to apologize.' He said loud enough for Sirius to hear and left gently closing the door behind him. Sirius never saw the tears.

Severus stood at the end of the hall and watched as Remus made his way slowly down the hall away from him. He watched as Remus had to lean against the wall, looking as defeated as he had sounded moments ago. Severus wanted to go to the hurting man but he couldn't move. Even as Remus' legs gave out from under him and he sank to the floor he couldn't move. Harry and Draco came up then and Harry gathered the older man and helped him up. They made it to the guest room before Remus looked up at Severus. Severus could only stare impassively back, while inside he wanted to beat Black for doing this to Remus and at the same time he wanted to hold Remus and keep him safe from the world.

No Remus couldn't read Severus' poker face.


Remus didn't love Nymphandora, hell he could barely tolerate her but damn she was feisty in bed, the way she could bend and change her looks. She was exactly what Remus had needed, or so he thought.

They had been having sex on a regular basis for almost three months now and Remus was seriously considering breaking it off. She was good for release but he needed more. He needed someone with a cock.

He was making dinner as he was trying to figure out how best to tell Tonks that their relationship, whatever it was, was now over when a tawny owl landed on the window sill.

The familiar scrawl belonged to Tonks and Remus opened it in curiosity. Thankfully he was standing in front of a chair because as he read the letter he had to sit down.

She was breaking up with him, which was a relief but it was the second half of the letter that was worrisome. She was pregnant with his child. And she wanted nothing to do with him because he was a beast. And at the first sign of her son having the same disease she was going to drown him. Merlin's left testicle. What the hell was he going to do?

'Hey Remy?' Harry called as he and Draco tumbled out of the floo.

'In here Harry,' he replied automatically.

'Papa? What's wrong?' He asked concerned. James had always been Dad and Remy had been Papa while Sirius was just Siri. It had bothered the other man but he could understand it. He got half his DNA from James so that one was a given. When Harry had been three he had been abandoned in a forest by the muggles Dumbledore had sent him to live with when he thought that Lily and James were dead. It had been a full moon and Harry had, at the age of three years and 7 months, been bitten by a werewolf a full two years younger than Remus himself. Harry had been rescued by Lucius Malfoy because the boy had run onto his property as he was being chased by the wolf. Lucius had called Remus the next morning knowing that Remus, more so then Sirius, had been looking for the young boy.

As a werewolf Remus was allowed custody of Harry when it was determined that he too was one too. The bond they now shared had begun to form when Remus first found Harry after his attack. When Lily and James had returned they had wanted custody of their son but the boy had been 6 and a half and unwilling to separate from Remus, less Sirius since the man had a habit if disappearing, so the adults had made an agreement and it had started out with lunch once every two weeks then it was every week then almost daily. It had taken a little while for Harry to be comfortable with them but they had been completely honest with the boy and eventually he had called Lily mum and in typical Lily fashion she had burst into tears and clung her baby boy to her as tightly as she could.

'She left me.' Remus said in a bewildered tone.

Harry and Draco cheered and gave each other high fives before turning back to Remus realizing he wasn't joining the celebration.

'Remy?' Draco asked concerned.

Remus didn't reply, he simply handed the letter to whoever was closest. Draco took the letter and Harry read it over his shoulder.

'She can't do that.' Harry stated.

'Yes Harry, unfortunately she can,' Remus replied.

Harry swatted Remus with a rolled up Prophet, 'No you dope, according to the new law that Lucius finally got passed last month,' he started.

'Any woman or man who gives birth to a werewolf child and is not a werewolf themselves is to relinquish custody to the werewolf parent.' Draco finished.

'The werewolf parent can then decided if the non-werewolf parent can see the child or not.' Harry added as an afterthought.

Remus could only stare at the pair before him, he had never been this bewildered ever. And he had been friends with Sirius Black and James Potter in school so that was saying something.

Severus arrived with Lucius a few minutes later and after finding out what Tonks was doing Lucius stormed out of the house to only he knew where.

He came back about a half hour later with Ted and Andromeda Tonks. Nymphandora's parents.

'I have no idea what has gotten into that girl,' Ted said with a shake of his head.

Andromeda however enveloped Remus in a tight hug as she apologized profusely for what her daughter was doing. 'Well do whatever we can to find her and give you your child back,' she promised.

Severus however was in the shadows glad that the tart was finally gone, wishing he had more balls to tell Remus how he felt, but Severus figured the last thing Remus needed was another bomb dropped on him. Severus began to plot, planning out how best to find the vile woman.

No Remus couldn't read Severus' poker face


Six months later word came from a hospital in Auckland that a woman matching Tonks description was giving birth. By the time they got there the woman and the infant were gone.

Remus was devastated. He clung to the stuffed wolf that Harry had bought on a whim one day it looked exactly like Moony.


A month later while at an awkward dinner with Lily, James, Harry and Draco, Sirius was called away on an emergency, Draco had muttered "thank Merlin" and Sirius could help agree.

A day and half later Sirius walked into the cottage he had once shared with Remus holding a bundle of rags.

'Remus,' Harry said softly as he had answered the door for Remus, 'there's someone here to see you.'

'Tell them to go away.' Remus replied monotonously.

'I'm afraid I can't do that,' Sirius said drawing both Remus' attention and the attention of those in the kitchen.

'I believe this belongs to you,' he said as he handed the rags to Remus, 'you might want to bring him to Poppy to get him looked over but I wanted you to see him first.' Sirius explained as he stepped back.

Remus pushed back the rags to reveal a tiny face that was almost identical to his own. Remus sobbed and pulled the rags from the tiny infant before taking in the scent of his youngest cub.

Without acknowledging anyone he stood and carried the restless infant from the room. Sirius went to follow but Harry stopped him.

'He's just going to clean him and scent him,' Harry said softly. It's his cub he wants to make sure he doesn't ever hurt him.

Sirius nodded. 'I have to go file the reports. Can you let him know?' Sirius asked, pleading with his godson.

Harry nodded but didn't say anything.

Sirius disappeared through the floo.

It was a little while before Remus returned, the small bundle now wrapped in a soft purple-ish blue blanket and sucking on a bottle.

He surprised everyone by handing the blanket to Harry who immediately began to coo over the child as Draco rolled his eyes but everyone could see the affection he held for Harry in his eyes.

Remus then went over Severus and pulling the taller man down he hungrily kissed the surprised man.

'Thank you for bringing my son back to me.' Remus said softly.

Severus spluttered and couldn't quite form a coherent word or sentence. 'Don't think I couldn't smell you on him.' Remus grinned and pulled Severus over to the bundle.

No Severus couldn't read Remus' poker face.

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