Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the movie.
Okay, I adore Twilight books….the movie sucked. LET'S EVALUATE!
NOT IN ORDER!
Bella: Hey....did you get contacts?
Bella: Your eyes were black yesterday, now they're like…golden-brown—
Edward: GAH! It's called TOPAZ! NO ONE GETS IT FUCKING RIGHT!
James: You brought a snack...
Edward: Don't you dare touch my damn Pop-Tarts you SON OF A BITCH!!
Edward: I can read every mind in this room....apart from yours.
Bella: What, is there something wrong with me?
Edward: ....yes. You're eating fucking mushroom ravioli with a fucking vampire. There's something wrong with that picture.
*Bella and Edward driving*
Bella: ok....I think I'm warm enough now.
*hands touch, Bella gasps*
Edward: oh shit....my dad's gonna kill me.
Bella: *looks ahead* Woa. What is going on?
Edward: That's my dad's car on the end....shit. He's here to kill me.
Bella: You're impossibly fast….and strong.
Edward: that's because I work out every day.
Bella: Your skin is pale white and ice cold.
Edward: yea, I use this make-up I found at Hot Topic....
Bella: Your eyes change color.
Edward: yea, it's these sweet colorful contacts I got...
Bella: and sometimes you speak...like you're from a different time.
Edward: what, because I don't say words like "Yo" and "Foshizzle"?
Bella: You never eat or drink anything...
Edward: Yea...how else am I going to fit into my skinny jeans?
Bella: You don't go out in the sunlight...
Edward: yea....it burns.
Bella: How old are you?
Bella: How long have you BEEN 17?
Edward: .....I said 19.....
Bella: I know what you are.
Edward: Say it.
Edward: SAY IT!
EDWARD: I SAID FUCKING SAY IT!
*dragging Bella through the forest*
Bella: Where are we going?
Edward: To my lair.
Jacob: Hi...I'm Jacob.
Jacob: Yea....we used to make mud pies when we were little.
Bella: Yea....I used throw them in your face.
Bella: ....are they always like this?
Jacob: ....it's getting worse with old age. Soon they'll be hitting each other with their canes.
Bella: This is PERFECT! *opens car door and hits Jacob*
Jacob: WHA THE FUCK! I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU LIKED IT! WHY THE HELL ARE YOU HITTING ME!
MORE TO COME! REVIEW!