Disclaimer: I own nothing (well, nothing that has to do with BBT).

August 1, 2009

We've been away more than 2 months but it felt like 2 centuries. Einstein is right that time is relative. Twenty minutes with Summer Glau (before Howard ruined it) is like 10 seconds whereas one minute with Sheldon is like watching Star Trek 1 marathon for 10 hours.

Only 51 days, 2 hours, 3 minutes, 8 seconds to go before I don't have Sheldon micro manage me for 24*7. Some scenario is worse than what you could've imagined, this is one of them. I do hope that I will be born not only like a well-hung billionaire in the next lifetime but a smart, athletic, good looking and can-talk-to-women billionaire for 3 lifetimes, instead of 1. It's only fair.

Well, to be fair, things weren't so bad until we drugged Sheldon with valium. He got suspicious whenever we gave him food or drink. It got trickier but we still managed, after all our combined IQ are higher than his. That and also we know that he can't deviate from his regular schedule.

I think since Sheldon can't trust us, he chatted online more with Penny. I guess he ordered her around a lot. I think he even asked her to sing Soft Kitty for him. If only he allows us to feed him valium voluntarily. I guess she is the only friend he gets at the moment. We are merely his "colleagues" and part of his team so to speak.

Howard is all talk about shooting Sheldon with a crossbow but he mentioned about can't let his mum visiting him in jail, too embarrassing even for him.

I think Leonard is thinking about Penny right now by the way he is wearing the Snuggles, that or he's feeling really cold, not that the Snuggles will help much. Howard is considering bolting out of the door to meet girls but Sheldon is stopping him. If we can come back without any murder or even injury, that will be a miracle (or good karma).

On positive side, I have a lot of time to Tweet and chat and know a lot of girls. I wonder why they think I need to drink to chat online. If only I can talk to them in real life once I come back. Only 51 days to go to find out. That and I can't wait to watch the Star Trek movie and of course to be free of Sheldon.

PS: My parents still keep ordering me around but I've the excuse of bad Internet connection whenever things get a bit too much.

August 1, 2009

I'm very pissed not to be able to chat up with more women today. Stupid Sheldon with his stupid endless tasks. He said something about not thinking with my brain and didn't have my priority right as a team player but that's to be expected with "oompa loompa of science". He even dared to ask me whether I had my refund from MIT. Oh, the crossbow is ready, I even make 2 more for Leonard and Raj. Sheldon asked if I want to test the crossbows. Oh, I think that is an open invitation for shooting him. However, Leonard suggested we didn't go to extreme violence so perhaps drugging Sheldon first would be preferable. Drugging him does provide a lot of entertainment as he said things that he normally wouldn't say, the things about his family and surprisingly a lot about Penny. Apparently Penny is his first girl friend, not mere acquaintance. Let me rephrase, I meant female friend not girl friend romantically. The boy friend spot of course is reserved for me. The good thing about not using the crossbow is of course don't need to go to jail, I don't want to go to all men jail without any access to women. If I were to go female prison, then perhaps thing wouldn't be so bad. Perhaps I should consider working in an environment with lots of women. An engineer for "America's Next Top Model" perhaps?

Another way to annoy Sheldon is apparently to hint some spoilers for the Star Trek movie. It's not listed in his contract that we shall not spoil him with Star Trek so technically he can't give us strikes. I think he must have regretted not to put that in the contract but too afraid to put a new contract as we may drug him even more.

I wished I've brought more valiums, I think there's only 8 left and we still have 51 days left.

I guess Sheldon feels isolated, not that it matters to him much but he chatted and played online game more with Penny nowadays. Raj is unusually chatty and even got to know a few women. I would pay to see him (not) chatting up to them when he's back. Leonard as usual being the most sensible and try to neutralise most conflicts. He felt jealous about the time Sheldon spent online with Penny though. He mentioned that Sheldon understood the meaning of friends with benefit now and he's spent the night at Penny. I wonder when it happened. It might be the cold causing Leonard to hallucinate. I guess that's reason he's wearing the Snuggles tightly lately.

I miss the presence of females (women here don't count as they wear too much layer but I'm not choosy if any is available), Penny, CalTech, even my mum. Long distance call is different from short distance yell. Despite my claim to Sheldon about indifference to spoilers, I really want to watch the new Star Trek movie too.

August 1, 2009

It's hard to be most sensible person in a group. It really is. You just try to do that when one of your friends is being impossible and another friend intend to kill the former mentioned friend. I'm pretty sure the court still sentences an attempted murder. After all an attempt is just an action that has not succeeded. I think my explanation has finally come across Howard's skull. He mentioned that we can make it look like an accident but there's no way a crossbow wound can be inflicted by accident. Actually if he pretends to hunt for polar bears he might but I've better keep this idea to myself. I still need to share the apartment's rent with Sheldon, unless Penny wants to share with me. Bad thought, Leonard, you're not thinking of getting rid of Sheldon so you can share an apartment with Penny, are you?

I still can't believe Sheldon spent more time online with Penny than with us though. I'm of course used to all Sheldon's idiosyncrasies but a guy has his limit. I can't really blame him though as we often drugged him as he claimed so he couldn't trust us. I think he overreacted though. I think we only did it four times in the three months we've stayed here, that is like 22.5 days once, far from often. He should be grateful compared to the alternative, aka being dead. Some of the things he said when he is drugged are downright funny but I'm surprised that he actually puts Penny in high regard as a friend. This happened before anyway. He chose Penny over Raj. I still wonder why having more than 4 friends is a herculean task.

Well, Raj is being sensible as well. At least he didn't annoy people or plot to kill someone. He is actually very normal here, he doesn't suffer mutism. That figures though. There is no attractive woman here although Howard disagrees about that. At least Raj and I can present food or drink to Sheldon. Somehow Sheldon distrusts Howard more although Howard is the most adamant against using valium out of us three.

I like to work and feel warm at the same time. That's why I often wear the Snuggles. However, I often earned funny and pitiful looks from all of them, even Sheldon, who doesn't care for appearance. Despite its ugliness, it's actually not bad. I certainly won't buy it myself but since it's a gift especially from Penny, why wastes it? It still has a bit of Penny's scent (vodka plus vanilla). Well, I do miss her but whenever I mention that I earned even more pitiful looks if that's even possible. To be fair, I miss everyone back in Pasadena plus the Star Trek movie. Sheldon and his timing is pretty bad. I thought someone with an IQ of 187 and love of Star Trek would think of a better schedule of leaving but apparently not. Ah well, there is only 51 days left before everything goes back to normal. As long as there's no murder happening here.

Note: This is the first part of the fic. May do second part later. Feedbacks are very welcome.