"Amu… will you marry me?"
That's when I broke. Tears started to pour down my eyes, like waterfalls, rewinding the water. I've never felt happier in my life, my prince, my love, my true destined soul mate had just proposed to me. Hotori Tadase.
Hands were covered over my mouth, whimpering was all I could do. I nodded my head, in an affirmative matter. I took the ring from the small, teal-leather box, and put it on my ring finger. It rivaled the beauty of the rainbows.
"I want to, spend the rest of my life with you, Amu." He said, meaning every word. His eyes glistened as pre-tears were seen. His blonde hair only added to the cuteness.
"T-Tadase… I love you so much…" I sobbed.
He removed my hand, and brought his lips to mine. He kissed me, and I kissed back. Life never felt so good.
It was around ten o' clock, at night. We were at the local park, the one close to that carousel. The lights off the carousel were the only lights I saw that day, as my life shattered. It felt like someone punched my gut.
Ikuto left, and never came back. My last memories were with him, riding that carousel together. He would wrap my hands around my small waist, and whisper lustful and loving things into my ear, sending shivers down my body. He gave me goose bumps whenever we lingered together, whenever we held each other.
But he left, and now Tadase is my world. He's my savior, the true hero. Not the villain, not the one who tore me apart and threw me away like trash.
Well, maybe not threw me away, but left me.
I remember the day he left; I was stuck in my room, leaving the balcony door unlocked. Hoping he would visit me at least once, every single day. I hoped. I prayed. I dreamed.
But when I soon realized he wasn't coming back, I felt like… dying.
I locked myself up in my room, refusing to eat, drink, or move. I did that for a couple of days, before my friends came and helped me. That's when my fire for Tadase was re-sparked. I found how close he was to me, and we soon elevated our relationship.
We went out for four years, considering I started to date him at 18. I was now 22, incase you're not too good with math.
I'm pretty tall, for a woman. Or well, that's what I think.
I'm 5'8, with no heels. My body is honey-tan, and my legs are lean. My hips are small, and my breasts are pretty full. My hair goes down to my midway back. My 'Cool N' Spicy' style still remains; I actually use it quite often.
The only person I remember that could see through that was,
"Amu, we're here."
Tadase. Oh right, we were walking home from the park. I rented a condo, not too far from my parent's house. My job was secure, as I worked at a fashion industry building. Basically, we manage clothes and investments that affect other high-name industries. Not to mention, I also design clothes.
"Thanks Tadase, um, do you want to come in?" Asking cautiously, although we were about to get married, I still didn't feel fully comfortable around him. I really don't know why.
"I'm sorry, but I can't Amu. I got work tomorrow, and I kind of want to wake up early…" He replied, giving a small chuckle. He scratched the back of the head, as he grabbed my chin.
I stared into his eyes, they were… interesting. Nothing really special, but eyes don't really matter, do they?
He pressed his soft, warm lips to mine. Giving me a small, not-too-fast-not-too-quick kiss.
"See you tomorrow, my love."
He walked away, leaving me standing there. My love? I never knew Tadase was so corny.
"Love you, Tadase!" I said back, he replied with a wave of his hand.
I closed the door, behind me as I plumped down on my large, black couch. My job paid well, so I could afford some 'wants' in life. It was around 10:45, and the night was boring.
My pet cat, Yoru, jumped onto my lap, and started to purr. I gently started to pet it, as it rubbed against me. I giggled.
Yoru, his hair was a weird shade of grey and black, and when moonlight shown on him, he looked almost midnight-blue. The moment I saw him, I knew he was right for me. Probably due to the fact, at the time, that guy still lingered in my mind.
I made myself a cup of coffee, and sat down on the couch again. I could hear crickets from the still of the night, it sounded peaceful. My mind wandered off to Yoru, who was now running about in the house. I kept my eyes on it, until… I noticed the window was open.
It jumped out, and made its way down to the front of the door.
I unlocked the door, and ran outside. Amazingly, I could see pretty clearly. The moonlight shone the path, as I followed my frisky little cat. My coffee was probably getting cold… oh great. I'm almost out of the mix too.
Stubborn little Yoru kept on making small meows, as if it was trying to guide me somewhere. Like I really cared, I just wanted to get back into my damn condo.
That's when I stopped. The cat led me to the amusement park, and I saw that someone was here. All the lights were lit, as the electricity rushed through the wires. Yoru sat down, licking himself.
That's when I heard it. That tune. That tone. That pitch. That sound…the music.
It's a violin, and it's a song. Strangely enough, it sounded like… my song. The very one Ikuto wrote and played for me, when we were… a couple. I could still remember it very clearly, as it was carved, engraved, and etched into my memory bank.
If I knew how to read and write music, I could pretty much rewrite it blindfolded. I knew it by heart.
Wait, if that really is my song… who else would know how to play it?
My legs started walking towards the sound; the volume grew louder, as my heart started to pound. I was getting nervous. Nervous? Sure, at work when deadlines were assigned, I got nervous at time. But nervous like this? With my heart pounding this much? Never.
Then I saw him.
This back was turned to me, as I saw him moving gently, swaying back and forth playing the wonderful, sublime musical piece. He was taller than me, around the height of 6'1, or 6'2. His body was lean, but muscular, it was toned. And his hair…
That's when it hit me, it had to be him. As the musical piece came to a soft end, I stared at him intently, clutching my chest.
Something wet hit my head. And again. Oh, once again. I groaned as I realized it was rain. Stupid rain…
However, my eyes still stayed glued to him, as the lights started to turn off. The beaker must've fallen. He packed up his violin, and slung it around his shoulders. And then he turned around.
Although we were quite a distance apart, we stared into each other's eyes. Nostalgic feelings rushing over my body, as I met with those nostalgic eyes. This nostalgic heartbeat. I felt so… happy?
He started to walk over to me, eyes widened with shock. I couldn't help but blush slightly, as I saw him coming towards me. Yes, he was coming towards me.
As everything processed in my mind, his face was on the same level as mine.
"A-Amu?" He said, as if he was scared to see me.
I didn't reply, not that I didn't want to, but I couldn't. My vision started to blur, as a small tear dropped. Why? Why couldn't I say anything? Why am I feeling these emotions again?
He grabbed me, pulling me into a tight hug. I felt his chin on tope of my head, as he inhaled my scent. To be honest, I inhaled his scent too. It smelt… good. Like going into ecstasy.
His hug became tighter, as I just stood there. My arms at my side, crying. Do… I still…
"Amu…it's been a long time… hasn't it." He said, his voice sounded almost… sad. But reassuring with feeling.
His arms let go of me, and he took a small step back, allowing him to see my face in a more, clear manner. He wiped my ears away, and took a deep sigh.
As he touched my rose-tinted cheeks, by now, I put my hand over my mouth. More tears started to fall, I entered a desperation mode. A mode with shock, mixed with confused feelings.
He placed my hand on my cheek, brushing away a piece of my hair. His touch felt good. It felt, protective and loving…
Then he kissed me. Bringing his cold lips to mine, he started to kiss me. I didn't respond, I didn't know how to. Should I kiss him back? Should I pull him away?
Then I did the unthinkable. My unconscious side took over me, and I started to kiss him back. Running my hands through his hair, I pulled him closer. It was a kiss, but not just a regular kiss, it was deep, and passionate, and very long.
I wanted to… hold him. Kiss him, embrace him, and most importantly… love him. At that moment, I felt like erasing all the text in my story book, and rewriting another story. A story with him.
But I couldn't do it.
I pulled away from him, letting out small gasps as I need some air. He looked at me with a confused look, almost sad. He looked like a hurt, confused puppy, not knowing where to go.
Oh god. I wanted to kiss him again right there, but I refrained myself.
"I-I'm sorry… I just c-can't do this, Ikuto…" I managed to say, although, I was pretty sure my voice sounded pretty shaky.
He cupped my face as I looked into his, deep-midnight blue pools you call eyes, and I melted. I knew what he felt, what he wanted to say, what his dreams were, just by looking into his eyes. And I'm pretty sure he knew what I wanted to say, and dream, and feel.
"Amu… do you know that I still," He paused, almost scared to what he was about to say.
That did it. I wanted him. I wanted him now. Not in a sexual way, but an emotional, passionate way. Although a sexual way wouldn't be so bad either. I almost blurted out 'I love you too' but something held me back.
Oh yeah, my marriage I'm supposed to have with Tadase, and how I'm his fiancée.
"Ikuto, I-I'm engaged…to Tadase." I didn't want to meet his eyes, knowing he would be hurt, sad, depressed, and most of all, hurt. It hurt me as much as it hurt him, but it was the truth. I hadn't seen him for almost seven years! How could I just run off with him?
He turned around, his back faced to me. I looked up at him, as the rain started to soak both of us.
"Amu. Do you still, love me?"
"Do I still have a place in your heart? Do you still care for me?"
More tears started to fall out. This situation here felt, sad.
"You left me for seven years, Ikuto. Tadase helped me through the pain, and now I love him. You're the villain for crying out loud…you're only meant to… hurt me."
He stayed quiet, not saying a word. I felt bad, but it was the truth. I can't fall in love with someone again, especially the villain, and the person who hurt me, and traumatized me. And scarred me.
A few minutes passed, as only the rain could be heard hitting the ground. I had to break this conversation…
"Ikuto, I don't –."
That's when he turned around, and kissed me. More passionate than last time. He held me. His right hand wrapped around my waist, as the other hand pressed the back of my head to his. That's right, I loved him then. But what about now?
I did what felt right… and started to kiss him back… again. I moaned out his name between kisses, trying to tell him to get a hold of himself, but that was useless. We walked over to the nearby bench, not breaking the kiss. He laid me down as the moment became more, intense.
But something made me push him off.
"I-Ikuto! I'm engaged! I can't do this… not again." I choked out, pausing for a breath here and there.
He sat up, and stepped a few feet away from me, allowing us to regain that space between us. He looked, hurt? No, he looked mournful, and desperate.
However, his expression remained the same: blank.
"I-I'm sorry, Amu. It's just that…"
We were both getting soaked in the rain, and I was pretty sure we were feeling the same emotion. The emotion of… well, more like the feelings of restrictions and consequences.
"As long as you're happy, Amu. Then I'm… happy." He said, almost like a question towards the end. He doubted his feelings, and questioned them. And here I thought he could read people like a book.
"I guess this is goodbye…"
"Ikuto-." I interjected.
"I came back from America to see you, and hopefully be together with you," He gave a small laugh, like a 'Heh', "Guess I'll be going back sooner than I thought."
What? He came back from America just to see me? To hopefully get back together with me?
He started to walk away, crying. Although, the rain did quite a good job covering that up.
I saw him, taking a step. Then another one. Every step getting further away from me. I can't let go of him now. Not again. I have to keep the things I love close to me… or I might never love again. I think I recall that from a song I once heard…
Then I ran.
Towards him, grabbing him and wrapping my hands around his body. I squeezed as tight as I could, not to mention my tears were falling once again. He stopped, but tried to shake me off. I didn't let him.
"I-Ikuto… don't leave just yet. I think…I think I still love you, so please, just stay with a little longer… please…" I sobbed.
Sudden? Yes. Truthful? Of course.
I handed him a cup of coffee. I had enough mix for two people. How ironic, huh?
We dried off a few minutes ago, and here we are. Sitting on my large, fluffy, soft black couch, enjoying each other's company. However, as I looked upon Ikuto, he still had a look of… dismay.
He broke the peaceful silence. Thank God.
"When's the wedding?" He asked, trying to sound happy, but miserably failing at it.
"I-I don't know yet, he kind of p-proposed today…"
We've been sitting here for a couple of hours. It was late. Like 1 AM late, but I didn't really care. Since, well, it was with and for him. Nothing really cared when I was around him…
"I bet you're pretty excited." His voice was blank now, emotionless. It made me feel…regretful?
I studied his eyes, and noticed they glanced at the clock. His eyes slightly gained a look of shock, as he started to get up from his seat, setting the cup of coffee on my small coffee table.
"I should get going. Thanks for the coffee, Am-."
I panicked. Why's he leaving so suddenly? Am I never going to see him again? I didn't want to let go of what I had just caught.
"No!" I unintentionally yelped out…nice one.
He just looked at me, slightly confused. I had to admit, he looked extremely cute when he had a confused expression on.
"It's pretty late so-."
"Ikuto, just, stay a little longer…" I asked, a slight accent of plead.
"It's pretty late, you should go to sleep." He replied, taking a step toward the door.
I unconsciously grabbed his arm, and held on tight. I didn't want to let go. I've waited so long just to see him again…but I'm engaged to Tadase…why? Why couldn't I have waited a bit longer?
"T-Then, stay with me…for the night." I sounded like one of those girls, in those love stories who start to beg the guy to stay with her. I sounded desperate, but I could care less.
He gave an assuring smile, and pulled my arm away from his.
"Amu, you're with Tadase now. You have to realize that-."
"What if I don't want to?" I said, in a mediocre loud-but-not-too-loud voice.
I found that my true inner character was starting to come out. That my true heart was coming out…
"Don't be stubborn now. You should be happy now, Amu. Tadase's a great guy and –."
"But he's not you!" I yelled, in a whisper-tone. I couldn't believe what I just said. Those four years with him, were getting overrun with a few hours with Ikuto. Four years, against a few hours. That really tells you a lot, doesn't it?
"Ikuto, just… just for tonight, please?"
It seemed like I won the fight. He seemed to give in, and motioned for me to get up. We walked into the bedroom, as the lights were turned off, I could see his eyes sparkle through the heavenly glow of the moonlight.
We were both on my queen-sized bed. The covers were wrapped around us, together. Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever actually slept with Tadase. Wow, that's kind of sad…
Ikuto was on the left side of the bed, his back towards me, all the way toward the edge. I was in the same position as him, except on the other side. Nothing could be heard except the raindrops outside. It was 1:30 AM. I had work tomorrow at 8:00 AM, not that really mattered.
To be honest, I had to admit to myself my own feelings. I loved Ikuto. I always thought, if he ever came back, I wouldn't feel the same towards him since I was with Tadase… but, boy was I wrong.
I love him. I love Tsukiyomi Ikuto. I love Ikuto.
I rolled over, and moved closer to him. I knew he was awake since I heard him sniff, like he was, crying. I really did he was crying, but of course, he refused to show me his 'sissy' side. Though, it was hard to believe he had one.
My front was to his back, etched closely. I wrapped my arms around his chest, and pushed my face to his back. I heard his breath hitch, for a split second; then it returned back to normal.
I entangled my feet with his, and closed my eyes.
I really did wish it was like this. That we were a couple again, that he proposed to me, and that we would get married. I regretted everything I did with Tadase, and wished it was with Ikuto. Going out on all those dates, laughing together, and smiling together. I'm not that type of girl, but that really shows how much Ikuto affects me.
"Amu…Tadase and you,"
"I love you, Ikuto. I love you, I love you, I love you."
I felt him shift as I said those words. My only reaction was to hug him tighter, my eyes still closed, and now blushing.
"You're engaged. Don't be like this…"
I felt something on my leg. He shifted as he said his last sentence, and I felt something fall out of his pocket. Completely ignoring what he said, I removed my warms from him, and grabbed whatever the hell it was.
As I got up, I saw him eye me, wondering what I was up to. Then his eyes went into shock, almost horror.
I looked at it. It was a small box.
"Amu, don't open -."
I opened it.
My eyes went wide, as my body went numb. My mind started to flash memories, as my heartbeat started to increase. I got goose bumps as I felt chills. My eyes started to tear up, as everything went blank.
It was a ring. A beautiful colorless diamond. On the rings, there were words.
Amu, my only love. I love you, more than anything.
Ikuto was sitting up by now, and tried to stop me from opening the box. But apparently he failed. He moved his hands through his hair, as he sat back. He let out a sigh.
"Amu…I'm sorry, you weren't supposed to see that since,"
I did the unthinkable.
I grabbed his face, and pressed my lips to his. He had an expression of shock, then adapted. He grabbed me, and started to kiss back.
I couldn't help but entangle my body with his; I ran my fingers through his hair viciously, as he responded with his tongue in my mouth. I loved every moment of it, I felt so content. I felt like I was loved.
We fell asleep together, embracing each other. I was truly happy.
I recall that day very clearly. The day where I told Tadase the engagement was off. I told him that I would be happier if we were just friends, and he surprisingly accepted, as if he knew as if I was going to call off the engagement.
The rest of my days were spent with Ikuto. He proposed to me, and we got married. I had never been happier in my life. He was my everything. And always will be.
He passed away due to age. His death was peaceful; it suited a musician like him. We spent the rest of our lives together, we experienced everything.
We had a child, only one. We had a girl. I had to admit, she was beautiful.
Through hardships, and happy times, I didn't regret anything I did with him. We experienced everything together. Loving life, loving each other, having a kid, growing old.
My memories with him will never fade, even after death.
I know he's above right now, as my guardian angel.
But I know I'll be joining him soon, since I'm pretty old myself. It's as if…
We were made for each other.
So, I was actually bored so, I wrote this story to relieve myself. I was actually thinking of putting a sad ending, but, I felt unexpectedly nice today. This is my first one-shot by the way, so, yeah.
And since some of you asked for my favorite songs, since songs really inspire me, here are a couple of my favorite songs right now:
(I'm a guy, so, my taste in music is thuggish')
Unexplained – Gravediggaz
You Never Know – Immortal Technique
Beautiful – Eminem
Everyday Struggle – The Notorious B.I.G.
Changes – 2pac
Soul – Epik High
8:45 Heaven – Drunken Tiger
Loner – Outsider
Yup, some of favorite songs right there. It's all rap by the way. And, it's not some mainstream shit you hear nowadays, it's old-school, real, raw, ill, dope, sick rap. Man, what happened to hip-hop and rap…
Anyways, thanks for reading. Appreciate you all.