Title: Kissed a Girl (A Slayers Crack!Fic snippet)

Author: Tsutsuji

Fandom: Slayers

Pairing: Lulu/Lala (aka Zel/Gourry) (I hope I got their girl-names right...??)

Rating: Teen, I guess

Warning: crossdressing with implications of yaoiness

AN: Although Rosethorne has convinced me that Xel and Zel are already getting it on by the time the gang gets to Femille/Femiria/whatever-it's-called, I've had this idea in my head for ages. Was supposed to be part of "Who Do You Love," but that might never happen so I figured what the hell, might as well post this as it is. Consider it a quick, random sketch rather than a completed painting. In fact, if I could draw, I'd just make a picture of the moment, but since I'm just a writer, I can only do it with a bunch of words. If someone else were to draw this scene I WOULD LOVE THEM FOREVER *_*

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Kissed A...

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"But I'm just not girly!" Gourry protests in a whining whisper, glancing nervously over his shoulder.

The hedged-in garden appears to be empty, except for Zelgadis who just darted into it a few seconds behind Gourry. Zel laughs softly, his eyes also darting around to make sure they weren't followed into this little sanctuary in the midst of the girls-only kingdom of Femille.

"Well, Gourry, to be honest, you are very attractive..." Zel says, and Gourry doesn't even seem to notice that he didn't say "very attractive as a girl."

"You look so much more right for it, though, with your body... I mean..." Gourry goes red as a tomato. "Not that you are, of course, but you - you look much better like this than I do, Zel," Gourry says with a helpless shrug. He plucks at his skirt and the ribbons in his hair.

Zel can't take offense, since it's Gourry, even though he'd rather not take it as a compliment, either. He shrugs, momentarily resigned to their ridiculous situation.

"Apparently we both make fine girls, Gourry. At least, the local girls seem to think so. The ones that like other girls, that is, which seems to be most of them!"

"Yes, I noticed. Have they been chasing you as well? Well, of course they have, come to think of it. You're really..." he trails off, whether thinking better of whatever he was going to say or simply at a loss for words, but Zel sees his eyes pause on his exaggerated curves and cinched waist. He manages to laugh again.

"I saw them making eyes at you in the square a little while ago, too, Gourry. I wasn't surprised at all."

"I ducked into this place to try to get away from them all," Gourry admits. "I was afraid you were one of them for a second, when you came running around the corner."

"I was running from a pair of them, as a matter of fact. I hope I lost them, but..." he looks around at the bushes, which seem to be rustling even though there isn't any wind. "I don't think I succeeded. I think we're being watched."

Gourry doesn't turn his head but his eyes dart side to side, then he looks back at Zel with a sigh.

"I think you're right. Maybe they think...hmm..."

Zel follows Gourry's train of thought, which would normally lead to a train wreck, but in this case, Gourry's idea makes an alarming amount of sense.

"They think we're together?" Zel laughs softly. "Well, maybe that would keep them from following us, which would make our search a lot easier."

"That's true."

They stand there for a moment, considering the implications of the situation. Zel wonders if Gourry could possibly be thinking what he's thinking. It's not exactly the first time he's thought of it, either, but at any other time, the idea of kissing Gourry seemed absurd - rather appealing, but still absurd.

It's even more ridiculous now but for different reasons, not least of which is the delicate gown that billows against his legs in the slightest breeze, and the layer of girlish makeup on his face.

The bushes rustle ominously. Gourry takes a step closer and leans down to whisper at Zel.

"Maybe if they see us doing something they'd leave us alone!"

Zel's heart pounds a little faster. Maybe Gourry is thinking what he's thinking. That's a frightening thought, for more reasons than one.

"Doing something like what? You mean, like... kissing?"

Gourry smiles disarmingly. "Well, that would convince them we're together, wouldn't it?"

Zel smiles back. Of course, Gourry isn't taking this seriously.

"I guess so," he agrees, determined to make light of it as well. "One way to find out, anyway."

He wants to kiss Gourry, he realizes with alarming certainty - even if Gourry is in a pink dress with ribbons in his long, golden hair. But he hesitates, exactly because he wants to, so it's Gourry who leans down and closes the distance between them.

Zel's sharp ears hear the gasp and giggle from the bushes on either side of them as Gourry's lips find his. He catches Gourry's eye, sees the twinkle of humor in it that reflects his own amusement at the effect they're having on their hidden audience. But then something else flickers in Gourry's sky-blue eyes, capturing his attention.

The rushing sound in his ears blocks out everything else as his eyes drift closed, the better to taste and feel their kiss. Gourry's lips are firm and gentle, pushing his apart, and Gourry's tongue is hot as it slips into his mouth. Zel has to bring his hands up to encircle Gourry's neck, just to steady himself. Gourry's hair flows over his arms like sunlight. He feels himself tilting, and then Gourry's arms are around his back, holding him as he leans back and stretches up slightly to deepen the kiss.

Their padded chests bump together as they pull each other closer. That's only a mild distraction. But somehow, as Gourry reaches to pull Zel's slighter figure closer to him, his hand slips down the smooth fabric of Zel's dress and lands on the curve of his butt, and that feels nice. At the same moment, Zel suddenly realizes that it isn't part of Gourry's dress that's gently poking him in the hip.

The blood that was rushing in his ears and heating his face drops away suddenly to gather in his groin. In another second, Zel realizes, Gourry's going to notice something poking him in the leg, too.

He breaks the kiss with a quick gasp, and at the same time, Gourry's hand leaves his back so fast he almost falls over. But Gourry's hands end up on his shoulders, and his own on Gourry's arms. They stand there for a second, foreheads almost touching and hands steadying each other, but all other contact broken. Both panting, both trying not the let the panting be too obvious.

Zel doesn't open his eyes, uncertain what Gourry might see in them if he does. He isn't sure he wants to see what's in Gourry's face right now, either. Shock and embarrassment, probably, but that might not even be the most alarming thing he could find there.

Without opening his eyes, though, Zelgadis can tell that they're alone in the grove now. Apparently their act was convincing. If it was an act.

Zel finally looks up to see Gourry studying his face with concern. He tries to speak, casually, but his breath is still astray, and those guileless blue eyes aren't helping him catch it.

"Sorry, I smudged your makeup," Gourry says.

Zel deflates with a rush of both relief and disappointment. Of course that's all Gourry was worried about! But then the swordsman's hastily-manicured fingertip brushes his cheek and the corner of his lip.

"Girl-makeup is so messy," Gourry says. Zel isn't sure if his breath is hushed-quiet because someone might be listening; the swordsman's sense of presence is as sharp as his, so he must know they're alone now, but why else would he be almost whispering? "You make a better girl than I do, but you look better without it."

"Gourry!" Zelgadis murmurs, and he isn't sure why he's speaking almost in a whisper too.

"Lulu-san!! Lala-san!!"

Lina's voice blasts through the hedge with the force of a Flare Arrow, coming closer. A second later, Gourry and Zel are standing three feet apart, hastily straightening dresses, ribbons and makeup. Two seconds later, Lina herself bursts into the courtyard.

"There you are!" she cries with a piercing, supposed-to-be-girlish laugh. "Come on now, don't be so shy! We're all girlfriends here," she giggles and then her voice drops to a much more familiar growl as she hooks their arms in hers, "and there's no Claire Bible in this garden so stop hiding and get back to work you two!"

As they're dragged back toward the main street, Gourry catches Zel's eye over Lina's head with a shrug and a gleam of humor, and an eyebrow arched in an unspoken question. Zel grins, and puts himself back into girl-mode - for Lina's sake, he tells himself, even though she doesn't see him wink girlishly at Gourry.

Maybe later, they can figure out if that was an answer.

*the end, or at least, enough of that for now ;p *