JKR Owns.

Something Unexpected

Chapter Three: James and Lily; Drunk Love at First Sight


James could feel the nerves suffocating him as he got closer and closer to the girl he'd fancied since he was eleven.

Finally, he found a spot next to her in the cue to get drinks.

After a few seconds of awkward lip biting and eye roaming, he turned to look Lily in her gorgeous emerald eyes.

"Nice to see a friendly face." God, stupid- that was such a stupid line…

Lily looked at him fully and rolled her eyes, "We were never friends, Potter."

James smiled in relief, "So you remember me?"

"How could I not? You're the most infuriating person on the planet."

"I was hoping you would have forgotten about that part," he said jokingly.

Lily raised her eyebrows at him but didn't respond.

"So um, you getting a drink?" he asked feebly.

This was always how it happened with Evans. He was usually so suave around girls but when in the presence of Lily Evans, he felt like a mouse next to a lion. His game was completely off, and it was frustrating him thoroughly.

"That's probably a good reason why I'm standing at the bar, Potter."

"Yeah, you're right." The bartender then came over and set Lily's drink in front of her. James took the opportunity to make a good impression on her by reaching in his pocket and pulling out a few sickles.

"Here, let me."

"No, It's alright. I'm getting free drinks tonight anyway."

James smiled at her, "Probably because you're so beautiful."

Lily was about to turn and leave but spun back around and gave James a pathetic look.

James bit his lip, Normal girls would eat that shit up- fucking hell, Lily Evans is like a block of ice!

Lily then let out a laugh and started walking away. James closed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair.

"So are you going to follow me back to my table or what?" he looked up and found Lily a few feet away, staring at him expectantly.

"Uh…" James started spluttering while Lily let out another laugh.

"Come on puppy," she cooed wiggling her finger at him.

James gulped, "Err, puppy- um, okay…"

As he was told, James followed her past layers of people and to the table he had seen her at earlier.

"So uh, how have you been?"

Lily shot James another cynical look that bordered on angry.

"You should have gotten a drink," she said instead, gesturing to all the empty cups around the table.

"Oh," James raised his hand to the shot glasses hovering in the air over the dancers and scrunched it into a fist. Immediately, a file of shot glasses flew to them and set themselves in front of them on the table.

Lily shook her head, "You were always good at that."

"You're admitting that I'm good at something?" James asked with a grin, "Other than being a jackass?"

"I always envied that you could do wandless magic. And somehow you always beat me in Transfiguration…" she answered wistfully, taking a shot glass.

"It was just a skill I was born with, sweetheart," he said with his cocky grin. At the look Lily gave him he quickly apologized for calling her sweetheart and took a shot for himself.

"So, I never took you for the type to come out and party without a reason," he said conversationally.

"Let's get something straight Potter- you never knew me. You might have stalked me from afar and barraged me with dating propositions whenever you could back in school, but you never knew me personally."

James let out a breath and drummed his fingers on the table. Who was he kidding? Did he honestly expect her to be civil to him?

"However, you're right. I usually don't come to clubs and drink this rigorously without a motive…"

James smiled, "So what's different this time?"

"My boyfriend broke up with me."

"Turner?" he asked, knowing the prick from back in school. About two years ago, he heard from their mutual friends that the wannabe actor and Lily had started dating.


"Well I can't say I'm sorry for that," James said jokingly.

To his luck, Lily laughed, "Yeah, me either. I didn't realize how much I changed when I was with him. I mean, it's only been a couple hours and I feel like I'm getting back to my old self."

James grin and handed her a shot glass, "Well cheers to that."

Lily smiled back and tink'ed her glass against his before knocking the glass back.

"Oh bloody hell," she snickered as James set his glass down a second after her.


"Is that really how you take a shot, Potter?"

"What's wrong with the way I take my shots?" he asked, returning her playful banter.

"Oh nothing, except for the fact that my six year old cousin, Effy, takes a better shot than you," she said deviously with a small smirk.

"Okay, first of all- what is a six year old girl doing drinking alcohol? And secondly, this is my way to preserve myself and my liver."

"By drinking it like warm milk?"

"No, by drinking it more slowly. In the end, I guarantee you I can out drink you and remain more sober," he finished boldly winking at her.

Lily let out a sarcastic laugh, "Nah, I don't think so."

"Put your alcohol where your mouth is," he challenged, holding out a glass to her.

"After you," she responded, also holding up a glass for him.

"Ladies first."

"Exactly," she smirked, gesturing for him to drink.

"Ass," he muttered as he took the drink.

"Takes one to know one," she laughed as he drank.


2 and a half minutes later…

Lily and James both fell over on the table, laughing hysterically. There were several empty glasses littering the table.

"You're telling me that Turner would rather recite poetry with you then have a shag?"

Lily giggled harder and clapped a hand over her face, "Yeah… it was okay though because he had a itty bitty," Lily held up her pinkie finger and wiggled it for James.

James roared with laughter, "Lily… what kind of bloke- however miniscule his dick is- would rather read then have sex with you?"

Lily nodded, "I know! Am I that unappealing?"

"He's probably gay," James said seriously.

Lily looked at him, somewhat amazed that he could be thinking along the same lines as she, albeit their drunken state.

James saw the look and mistook it for her being offended.

"I only said that because a bloke would have to be that, or mental to not want to shag someone like you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked, looking him straight in the eye, wanting him to continue.

"I'm just saying like- on a scale of one to ten, you're a twenty."


"Borderline twenty one," he said holding his hand flat and shaking it.

Lily turned away with a small smile. She grabbed her drink from earlier and drank earnestly from it, preparing herself for what she was about to do.

A few moments passed where she didn't do anything but drink. James was about to apologize for making her uncomfortable when Lily suddenly turned and pressed her lips against his.

James' eyes shot open and his heart started pounding. When he realized that this was really happening and it wasn't some wild fantasy of his, he began to kiss back.

As he did, Lily pulled away and turned back to the table and her faithful drink.

"What was that?" James asked, breathing irregularly.

"What?" Lily returned innocently, sipping her drink

"Y-You just go around kissing guys whenever you please?"

Lily shrugged, "I just wanted to see where you ranked, is all."

James swallowed, "And where did I rank?"

"Decent," she said simply.

"Decent?" James questioned shockingly. Never before in his life had he been called something as insulting as decent.

"What, you think you deserve something better than that?" Lily teased.

James turned back to the table with a frown. Spotting a full glass, he grabbed it and drank it eagerly, hoping for some courage that he would dearly need.

Then, he spun back to Lily and gently grabbed both sides of her face. Quickly, he pulled her in again.

James wasted no time in opening his mouth over hers and delving his tongue inside. Lily made a noise in the back of her throat that encouraged him to continue.

She tasted like the sweetest firewhiskey and all he wanted to do was run his hands over the rest of her body, particularly her bum.

But then again, if he did do that then he'd probably be going home missing a testicle.


Tonks, Remus, Sirius, and Peter had been catching up for about five minutes when Sirius casually looked over the railing. What he seen made him spit out his drink all over Peter.

"Come on, Sirius!" Peter whined, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand.

"Fucking hell- James is kissing Evans!"

"What?!" Remus and Peter exclaimed looking over the railing and down to where James and Lily were sucking face.

Tonks too looked over but handled it in a more subdued manner, "You weren't there when she drank like eight shots of firewhiskey in a row…"

"She doesn't have to drink so she's more fun to be around," Remus said sensibly, assuming that was the reason.

Tonks snorted, "She's drinking so everyone else is more fun to be around."

"Why?" the boys asked together.

"Jason broke up with her today…"

"Jason Turner? The gay guy that works in the owl room of the Wizengamot?"

Tonks nodded and then added with a smirk, "He's an aspiring actor."

"He's an aspiring gay guy, that's what he is," Sirius replied automatically, "I don't understand why a straight guy would break up with Evans."

"Well at least it seems to be working out to James' advantage," Tonks returned offhandedly.


"That was brilliant and you know it," James said as they broke their heated snog.

"Um," Lily started spluttering and a blush rose to her cheeks.

James grinned triumphantly, "Repeat after me: James is a brilliant kisser."

"James is a brilliant kisser," she muttered begrudgingly.

"And I am allowed to snog him whenever I please for whatever reason," James continued nonchalantly.

This time, Lily only glared at him.

A few moments passed where they both stood there quietly; James drumming his fingers on the table and Lily staring out into the crowd.

The music changed, and a different song started blasting over the speakers.

James bit his lip and turned to Lily, "Um, do you-"

"Hey sweetheart," a blonde bloke said, coming up behind Lily and wrapping his arms around her.

Lily stiffened and James glared at the obnoxious wanker.

"Oh hey, um- Noah right?"

"That's right love, you wanna dance?" he asked smiling at her flirtatiously.

"Well, actually," Lily turned to James, "We were about to, so…"

"Yeah," James said derisively taking Lily's hand and pulling her out of reach of the blonde douche bag.

"Bye," Lily muttered to Noah before following James out to the dance floor.

"Who was that guy?" James asked when he found enough space to turn and look at her.

Lily smirked, "Jealous much?"

"He was feeling you up like he knew you," James continued stoically.

She shrugged, "He was just some guy I danced with."

James scratched his head nervously now that they didn't have anything to talk about.

Lily again smirked seemingly knowing what he was avoiding, "So can you dance or what?"

"Dancing is not my forte- but I can dry hump pretty well…"

"Well that's pretty much the whole point," Lily laughed, motioning around the dance floor where mostly all the couples were grinding into each other.

"Come on," she said gesturing for two more shot glasses to zoom over to her, "a shot for luck!"

"Cheers," he mumbled clunking the shot against hers and drinking it at once. At least if he was going to have to do this he could be drunk doing it.


20 Minutes Later


Peter sighed sorrowfully as he watched Sirius put a suggestive arm around Janie, the brunette girl from earlier who said she'd come back to talk to Peter if she was drunk enough to the point of delusional.

But, as luck would have it, the only girl polite enough to forcefully endorse him, Sirius had a thing for- which was fairly obvious the way he had stared down her ass as she walked off. He actually ended up abandoning the group to follow Janie into the bathroom and invite her back to their table as his interest instead.

"Peter," started Tonks in a slight slur, noticing his depressive look, "I think the reason you can't get a girl is because… because you resemble a hobbit. And you just need to wait for a hobbit woman to come and claim you…"

Sirius laughed and shook his head, "It's more like you're a gay woman stuck in a man's body."

Peter scoffed at him and took a drink from the beer bottle in front of him- obviously trying to appear tough and unfazed by their jabs.

"I turn down chicks left and right- you guys just don't pay attention," he tried to convince in a cavalier voice.

Sirius snorted in amusement, "Peter, your chicks are left and right"

As Tonks, Remus, and Janie fell about laughing, Peter stared at Sirius in confusion before his grinning best mate gestured down to Peter's hands.


"Is this what you do every day- try and pawn your friend off on unsuspecting victims?" Janie questioned in her Australian accent (something that Sirius thought was so, so sexy).

"No, this is more like community service. For the sake of everyone around him- Peter needs to get laid," Remus replied.

"So what do you do exactly?" Janie asked, turning back to Sirius.

"Well, I'm currently unemployed, living off my dead uncle's fortune. I'm taking the time to really get in touch with my soul, mind, and body… well mostly my body… and other women's bodies..."

"So you're basically a free-loading man-whore?" Janie inquired with a smirk.

"I prefer to reference it as 'on a quest to find myself," Sirius corrected.

"Sirius, that's really just called being a bum," Tonks commented, "No need to add all that extra hoopla to make you sound smarter."

Sirius laughed sarcastically while flipping her a rude finger. Tonks grinned at him victoriously.

Janie looked at him with raised eyebrows, "You know, most people travel somewhere to look for self discovery… maybe even go to a university for a bit…"

"Hey! I did go to a bit of college outside Hogwarts. Remember Pete! Me and you took those two criminology classes they were offering at the ministry!"

"Criminology classes?" Tonks let out an incredulous laugh, "What were you studying to be? Batman?"

Peter brightened, "Is there really a class for that?"

"For your information," Sirius responded in a logical voice- one he rarely used, "that class was very enlightening. We thought it could be an integral opportunity to a future in that career field. Didn't we Pete?"

Peter's eyebrows furrowed, "But, you said we only went to those because the instructor, Mrs. Statham, was a sexy biatch. And the classes were free with an all you can eat doughnut table."

"That explains why he had such a good time. Attractive married women and pastries- that's hard to pass up."

Sirius raised a mocking brow at Remus before turning back to Janie, "They're just trying to embarrass me, love."

"Al, Frank!" Tonks shouted suddenly as the couple walked up to the table.

"Hey, I figured you guys had to be close by," Alice said to Tonks as Frank shook hands with the guys.

"How'd you suss that?" she asked, taking a drink.

"Do you have any idea who Lily is thrusting pelvises with?"

Sirius smirked and held up a hand, "Can I buy a vowel?"

"Shut up Sirius- Tonks, she's down there with James Potter," Alice continued, emphasizing James' name.

Tonks nodded, "I know."

"This means she's drunk," Alice told her zealously as if wanting Tonks to spring into action.

Tonks only laughed, "I can vouch that."

Alice raised an vexed eyebrow, "You know, she would probably want us to stop her before it went any further."

"Alice, she's having a good time. Leave it alone," replied Remus this time, putting an arm around Tonks' waist.

"I have an idea," Sirius announced, "why don't we all go back to our flat and get in a hot tub session? Janie you in?"

"I don't have a swim costume…"

"Perfect," Sirius grinned turning back to the rest of the table, "Cousin? Do you think you can convince the lovebirds here?"

Tonks smiled and turned back to Alice and Frank with a suggestive look.

Alice looked to Frank who also gave her indicative smile.

She nodded, "Okay, I'll go get Lily."


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