Okay; so I decided to take up the Seddie Challenge that Smartbabie had proposed. I though, hey? Why not? So here is my presumed four-shot of iCloset.

Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly, or the actual idea for this fanfic (which belongs to Smartbabie). I only own the writing.


It began with Freddie. That dipthong of what his mother calls a boy, had to go and piss off Carly.

Earlier Today...

"Gahh! Sam, that's enough!" Freddie cried out in pain.

"Oh, give it a rest Freddifer."

I tugged at Freddie's hair as I pinned him to the ground.

"Sam! Stop, this really hurts!"

"Man up! You're the one who ate my ham- it's time for my payback."

Suddenly Carly walked into the room. I was too busy pinning Freddie to the floor of the Shay's living room to take notice of her sprinting towards us.

"SAM! What are you doing?!"

"...Nothing..."

"You're pinning Freddie to the ground!" I could hear anger pouring out of Carly.

"If you knew, then why'd you ask me?"

"Sam!"

"Okay, okay!"

"Get... off... of... ME!" Freddie screamed.

Carly gripped her hand around my arm and tugged as hard as she could, causing me to tumble backwards.

"Carls, just let me finish pulverising him! A dork like Fredward needs all the attempts at becoming a man anyway... of course, it's not like he could ever be one in the first place." I muttered the last part under my breath.

Unfortunately, Carly heard me. She nudged me in the ribs as Freddie limped to the couch. I felt a twinge of guilt, but brushed it off quickley.

"What did he even do?!" Carly was still freaking out, but loosend her tone.

"He ate my ham." As soon as it came out, I knew it sounded stupid, but I had to stand my ground.

"You're kidding me, right?"

"I don't kid about ham; you know that!"

I guess Freddie decided that he wanted to watch all of his bones break, because it was then that he began to argue with me.

"Of course you don't," Freddie began. "All you think about is ham!"

"And all you think about is when you're going to hit your growth spurt!" I retorted.

"Guys, give it a rest! I swear, I'll go get spencer and his sculpting tools!"

I ignored Carly and continuted to stand my ground.

"Aw, does Samantha feel that pushing her insecurites on me that she is more powerful?"

"Does anyone hear me? I will go get Spencer!"

"No, you're lack of muscle and height make me more powerful. Here, I'll show you."

"Sam," Carly warned. "Don't!"

I grabbed a hold of Freddie's left arm and hurled him over my shoulder. He landed with a thud on the hard wood floor.

Apparently the entire time Freddie and I were fighting, Carly gave up and left us alone.

"Wait... where'd Carly go?"

Freddie and I scanned the space to find an empty living room.

"Carls? Where'd you go? Carly?"

Suddenly Spencer entered the room.

"You haven't by any chance seen two bottlecaps and an air mattress have you?"

Freddie and I exchanged glances.

"Uh... no... why?" Freddie asked.

"Could you help me look? Pleeeeeeeeeease? It's for my next sculpture!"

"We're in the middle of something, Spencer!"

Spencer's eyes began to water and of course, he pulled out the dramatic side of himself.

"Fine! Let me just go and be by myself! No one to help me look in the deep, dark, cold closet of storageness! I guess, I have no friends anymore! Good-bye cruel world! May the closet be my place of rest... for eternity!"

"Oh boy..."

"Sam, it couldn't hurt to look. Then we can go right back to fighting."

"Promise?" I smirked.

"Of course... but the real question is can you?"

Ouch. That one hurt.

"At least I can fight."

Freddie was about to speak, but I cut him off.

"Stuff it Fredling or you'll never have children."

Freddie cringed and turned towards Spencer.

"Okay, we'll help. Just let me grab an ice pack."

"Oh, sorry, we ran out of ice packs yesterday."

"How do you run out of ice packs?" Freddie questioned.

"Used 'em for a sculpture... want to see? It has rubber ducks and everything!"

"Maybe later..."

"Let's just look for the junk and move on with our lives."

We started to follow Spencer but Freddie cried out in pain from his leg.

I scoffed.

"What?"

"Wimp."

"You did this Miss Remorse. Oh and if you didn't notice, that was a sarcastic title."

"Mlah mlah mlah." I mocked.

"Guys!" Spencer urged. "Help me."

Spencer could be such a whiner.

He led us to his storage closet. I'd never been in the closet before, but I was usually in the Shay's fridge or the iCarly studio when I was here anyway.

"Let's get started... good luck!" Spencer opened the door to the dark closet, smiled, and waved.

"I'm sure those things wo't be that hard to-" Freddie was cut off by Spencer shoving us in the closet.

"SPENCER! YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE THIS INSTANT AND I WILL LET YOU KEEP YOUR EYELIDS ATTACHED TO YOUR FACE!" I pounded on the door furiously.

"Sorry! Carly paid me fifty bucks to lock you in here. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to Canada."

"Canada? For what?" Freddie asked, obviously frustrated.

"Canadian bacon. Duh." Oh yes, because you should always kidnap two teenagers then go off to Canada for slices of ham!

Spencer giggled and skipped away.

"CARLY! CARLY!" I bashed my fists agaisnt the door.

"Sam, you and Freddie are staying in there until you can learn to be nice! Or at the very least argue when there is no one around but you and him."

"But Carls..." I protested.

"No buts! This is for your own good Sam. There is a light switch to the left of the door. I'll see you in three hours."

"Carly," Freddie began. "What about my well being? I will never survive three hours with... it."

"Good-bye..." Carly said in a sing-song voice.

I tried to study my hands to look for the Capital "L" to decipher which side was left or right, but there wasn't any light to begin with.

Then Freddie spoke up.

"Well aren't you going to turn on the light?"

"No thanks short stack, seeing your face would just add to the punishment."

"Looking at your face isn't any better."

I got up to try and punch Freddie, but ran into what seemed to be a large, heavy box.

"Shit," I cried.

"Sam? What happened?"

"Just turn on the light dimwit." I rubbed my shin to try and stop the pain.

"What about my face?"

"If you don't turn on that light, you won't have a face!"

"Alright, alright."

Freddie shuffled towards the door and flicked the light on.

"If you want to live, you'll shut your mouth for these torturous three hours."

Freddie didn't bother to to reply, he just settled down on a semi-deflated swimming tube. This was pointless. I started to think back a bit... I guess this wasn't entirely Freddie's fault. Mostly, but not all.