Author's Notes: A couple of PM's and I'm anybody's, I guess. Anyhoo, Shinara and I were talking about Dean riding something other than the Impala. This is the result. Very silly.
Language Warning: Here there be cussing. Deal with it.
Disclaimer: Don't own Sam or Dean – dang it. *Sulks*
"This is a bad idea, Sam."
"You said we need to fit in during this job. This is part of fitting in, Dean."
"Stupid ghost has to haunt a ranch. Forget it. It's not gonna happen."
"Get on the freaking horse, Dean. People are staring."
"Don't care. I'll just walk."
"Don't be so negative. I'm doing it."
"You got lucky."
"That doesn't even make sense!"
"It's that long, girlish hair of yours. Diamondback there probably thinks you're a virgin maiden. Not very far from the truth there."
"That's unicorns, not – hey, just a damn minute! I'm not a virgin m-"
"People are staring, Sammy."
"You're such a jerk."
"Keep talking, Lady Godiva. I ain't getting on that thing."
"Look at her – she's perfect for you!"
"How do you figure that?"
"She's the same shade of black as the car. Even her name fits! You're always calling the car 'Baby', and that's the horse's name, too!
"Okay, okay. Look, Horse…"
"Fine. Look, Baby. I'm not thrilled about this and you don't look like you are either. So let's just try and get along, okay?"
"By the time you get on the horse, Dean, it should be just shy of midnight and the ghost will be showing up anyway…"
"Shut UP, Sam! Okay, here goes nothing…"
"Dean! Oh, shit! Okay, I can do this… I got up on the horse, I can get down. Okay, um, stay, Diamondback… Hey, that actually worked…"
"Oh, man, are-are you okay? Let me help-"
"Don't need help, Sam… just point me in the right direction."
"What are you gonna –"
"You remember that scene in 'Blazing Saddles'?"
"Dean, you can't punch the horse!"
"Why the fuck not?"
"Well, because she's run off for a start."
"Yeah? WELL, KEEP RUNNING, YOU STUPID NAG! YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE CALLED 'BABY'!"
"And we're back to people staring again. C'mon, you can ride Diamondback."
"Oh, no. NO WAY am I getting on another one of these things."
"You're not scared are you?"
"What?! 'Course I'm not…"
"Then get on."
"You see what the other horse did? Don't you do that. I know where you sleep and I've seen 'The Godfather'."
"Oh that's GREAT, Dean. He doesn't mean it, girl."
"Since when have you and the horse become such good buddies?!"
"I can't help it that animals like me."
"I still say it's 'cause they think you're a chick. Okay, okay, I'm going. Getting on the stupid horse Take Two…"
"See? That wasn't so bad."
"Nah, I did pretty okay, huh? I-oh, great. Here comes Baby. Decided to trot back and beg for forgiveness, huh? Well forget – Sam, get away from that thing!"
"I will not. She just needs someone to be nice to her, don'tcha girl? Yeah, that's a nice Baby. C'mon, I'm not going to yell at you…"
"I don't believe this. My brother the freaking Horse Whisperer. Sam, you get on that horse, she's gonna toss you and…"
"You were saying, Dean?"
"Yeah, I thought so. C'mon, Baby, let's ride!"
"There are days when you really freak me out, Sam."