Author's Note: Okay, I have seen several 'list of rules' fics and could not resist my own addition with stories attached to the rules. Please review and let me know if you this one chapter to become more than one simple piece. If you want to expand any of these into fics go for it. Please send me the link so I can read them and post in my profile.
I keep my rating T for teen and stick to fluffy, lighter family stuff. Story arcs may be more intense with battle injuries and war references. I do NOT do gore, severe angst, or other extremes. For other reading, there are over 2,000 fics in this movie TF category not counting the M Mature and over 12,000 in the cartoon versions of TF fics. Lots to choose for whatever your tastes are.
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TF TF TF TF TF TF TF TF TF TRANSFORMERS
At NEST headquarters, Second in Command Prowl scanned the corridor ahead, guaranteeing no twins, as both sets meant trouble to his processor, were in sensor range. His wings doors high and weapons ready, the officer watched to avoid stepping on humans and triggering pranks left by fellow bots. Prowl entered his office while pausing automatically. A quick digital scan confirmed no tampering with any of the security settings. Relaxing his wings lower, he brought up the lights and began prepping the data pads for daily reports. "Supplies lists, status checks, Ratchet's medical updates, Prime's reviews and oh yes, my personal favorite. Prohibited items by and for all Autobots." That document scrolled by on the screen, already longer than he had thought possible. "Will this never end?"
5. Do not change the order of the letters on human keyboards.* Not all humans can type by touch. General Morshower did not appreciate late and mangled reports from base personnel.
8. While in alt modes, all holographic drivers will be clothed! Do not provoke unnecessary reactions from other drivers as this causes unsafe driving conditions and potential crashes.
Prowl pinched his nose plates with an armored hand, remembering how naively he had thought the rules would stop at about ten or so.
15. Do not download music and repeat lyrics without fully understanding the words, near humans, especially females of the species. *Mudflap, Skids and any music called Rap, Hip Hop, or related and designated with 'explicit lyrics.'
18. Do not comment on a human female's weight gain, but it is okay to comment on weight loss. "Primus," Prowl swore. "Several of the human females, especially one particular drill sergeant, put Ratchet to shame on their wrench throwing, explosive reactions. We should send them to chase the Decepticons. Be nothing left to brig."
24. No rerouting all internet connections to any hot robot sites especially after posing for your own online photo albums. *Sideswipe, Sunstreaker.
35. No parking in designated illegal tow zones, allowing yourself to be towed then breaking free and racing down the road the wrong direction.*Jazz, Sunstreaker, Sideswipe and Hound.
"Common sense is not common," Major Will Lennox had muttered once and Prowl had to agree. Which brought him to the next entry.
54. No giving candy to Annabelle Lennox without clearing it with parental units AND Ironhide. He shuttered his optics, memory cores replaying that incident all too clearly. Wheeljack had become fascinated with human dessert concoctions, deciding to make a lollypop for her as an after lunch treat.
"I wonder why no one ever questioned fifteen pounds of sugar, one barrel of corn syrup and enough color food dyes for a battalion unit," Prowl muttered. Normal in Wheeljack's hands, the resulting rainbow colored lollypop and been bigger than Annabelle. He had also incorrectly assumed she would take her time to eat it. Two hours later, her high pitched squeals had half the base running for their gear, thinking she was the attack alarm. She had shot by them all, running and dodging fast enough to put the Autobot speedster Blurr to shame.
"Annabelle! Stop!" Ironhide had commanded, black armored hands outstretched then blinked as she ran up, vibrating with energy, her hands and lips stained multi colors.
"Love you Ironhide and no stop having too much fun catch me if you can." And zipped right on by. Even Optimus had become concerned about how to corner her without injury.
Ratchet suggested a tranquilizer dart and was ready to use it until her dad and Ironhide had drawn near. "You are not shooting my daughter! What if you miss or something goes wrong?" Will yelled. Ironhide rolled his cannons once, ending that discussion.
They had simply cordoned off that section of the base; letting her run down while monitoring her vitals closely. Daytime became evening became night as she relaxed, falling asleep just before dawn. Ironhide threatened to slag the next mech to give sugar to his charge. For any reason. In any form. Ever.
62. Do not answer telephones and pretend to be Ratchet's, Prime's, or my assistant and scheduling any type of appointment, meeting or public event.*Sunstreaker and Sideswipe.
89. Do not masquerade as human children's entertainment rides, even if preventing graffiti or damage.
Prowl twitched his lip plates into a half smile at that entry. Local youth had done rampant damage with graffiti near the base ferry dock on the mainland until Mudflap and Skids had accidentally overheard two of them in town. That night the twins had snuck out, transformed into kids rides in front of the local grocery store and waited. The youths thought they were a rocket and horse ride for fifty cents and began to spray their paint. An hour later, the police found the youths hanging upside down, tied at their ankles and sprayed with weird alien symbols, babbling about robots and begging to be allowed to clean up the damage they had done.
118. No reprogramming human kids' toys with Cybertronian upgrades and leaving around for the soldiers to find.*Wheeljack, Sunstreaker, and Sideswipe.