Author's Notes: Wow! Thank you for the reviews and adding me to favorite stories/authors. I was not sure if anyone would read and love this. The list will keep growing and filling out as requested by you, the fans. The Transformer / Human mix is just so fun with alien ways and human culture! Chapter 2 is up and 3 is in progress.
"One thousand vorns for the Allspark temple scholars to compile the four hundred virtues of Primus and the Allspark. This rules list has the potential calculations to exceed four hundred before Annabelle finishes second frame schooling!" Prowl grumbled, watching the rules scroll by once again. He could have jumped to the end, but the logical tactician part of his processor reviewed it every time, noting possible additions and changes. External sounds were few as the night continued, humans sleeping or mech recharging after the latest battle. Patrolling guards and camera monitors ignored the Autobot buildings, use to odd hours kept by Prime and his command staff.
11. Do not threaten, injure or take offense if a human asks you to open your trunk, look under your hood or uses phrases like 'nice wheels, sweet ride or sick detailing.'
"The motor pool mechanic was not trying to skirt anti-technology rules," Captain Lennox patiently explained. The assembled Autobot command listened, perceptive but wanting the Captain to make it clear to his staff. "He loves cars and engines and wanted to appreciate your designs. Nothing more." Lennox turned around, seeing nods and hearing soft agreement from soldiers and techs nearby. "I issued a memo on appropriate comments and actions by NEST team members. Any potential violations are to be reported to Autobot Command and myself, immediately."
"That will prevent future occurrences?" Prowl asked, calculating the odds at one hundred percent there would be interspecies misunderstanding for the next several years at regular intervals, ninety percent on the human side. Eight percent on the Autobot side from lack of reading information provided.
"No. It means they will be reported and dealt with. And we mean no harm. Nice wheels is a compliment."
"A reference of interspecies encouragement using a singularly unloquacious and diminutive linguistic expression to satisfactorily accomplish the contemporary necessity," Ratchet stated before turning and striding away with the others.
"Ever get the idea they know more than they let on?" Epps commented thoughtfully.
17. Do not imply human boundaries / relationships / patterns to Transformers.
Prowl vented softly, considering. "Different composition existences, language translations issues and totally different means of reproductions could create confusion. For a race that claims they are gender fluid, embracing change and evolving they define reality by their world views. But Ironhide is not Optimus' grandfather; Sunstreaker and Sideswipe are not my sons! Regardless of time spent chasing and throwing them in to the brig. And Bumblebee is not an immature femme nor Arcee transgender. "
26. Do not help humans in their attempts to fly. Their species is not capable of self-propelled flight, no matter the appearance at the time. *Silverbolt, any Aerialbot
This one Prowl had thought would be self-explanatory. Until a despondent youth had shown otherwise. "How was Silverbolt to know he was upset at breaking up with his girlfriend? Or he was jumping off the bridge to offline himself and not attempting to fly?" He shook his head, recalling Silverbolt's explanation.
"I saw the young human male jump out, arms spread to catch the rising air only he began to descend. I realized he needed to get a better comprehension of lift, so I caught him, and then threw him forward at an angle. He screamed in delight then began falling. I again caught, threw up and out and he soared then lost lift. Simply could not glide with insufficient size appendages. He cried in gratitude for my assistance, but I had to continue my mission, setting him on the ground. 'I want to live, I want to live,' he yelled after me. I know I did the right thing. "
33. Do not take it personal if a human hangs anything from the center windshield mirror. Do not throw it and/or the human out onto the road. Transfer to the security of Command storage. *Ratchet, Ironhide, Skids, and Mudflap.
Prowl glanced over at a small carton on the left side of his desk. Crucifixes, fuzzy dice, several graduation cords, and even a pair of baby booties lay within. "Thank Primus no more air fresheners. Pungent galaxy wide. That human should have been grateful Ratchet only dumped him out, transformed, then withdrew that container of parts cleaner fluid from his leg hatch and hung it around the human's neck."
48. Do not imply, state or acknowledge any fantasy world of the humans as being REAL including but not limited to Star Trek, Babylon 5, Star Wars, Stargate, Alien, Predator, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, the Day the Earth Stood Still and related.
74. When caught speeding, do not switch your holographic driver to a diminutive, aged female human.
Prowl wavered on this one. Humans were law happy as far as he was concerned. Every Autobot had been cited for speeding, running red lights and more in their normal activities.
"Cybertron existed for thousands of years without major transportation accidents and a few laws and earth has thousands of laws and statistically too many accidents." His lip plates formed a grin, as he remembered how popular the ruse had become. 'Local law enforcement reluctance to discipline aged citizens created variables to the point the local newspapers had begun reporting on the 'speeding granny gang.' Optimus had banned any not approved holographic drivers from then forward.
88. Do not practice stealth tactics on humans in the dark, especially after a horror movie fest night.
The base's chief medical officer had ranted and raved on Optimus' desk for over fifteen minutes about irresponsible actions.
"You understand the weakness of human eyes and hearing limitations but not their hearts or minds? I am tired of psychosis and numerous panic attacks among the soldiers. Either you back off or I will ban movie night for all beings," the human medic had threatened.
Optimus had issued orders about sneaking up on humans and things had seemed to calm down. Until the night Stephen King's 'Christine' had played. The idea of a possessed, self-moving killer car had not gone over well. That was another rule however
Revised and updated 01.05.2019