AN: Just a quick little drabble that came to me as I was watching All Hell Breaks Loose Part 2. It's from Bobby's POV.
When I walked into that room, a bucket of chicken in my hand, I had a plan. This couldn't continue. Our fight had already lost two of it's best warriors, leaving the last of the Winchester line broken and defeated. We couldn't afford to lose him, too.
But I had a plan. A little food to get his strength back, and a mission, a direction. Deal with loss by exacting revenge on every evil bitch to ever walk the earth. We'll make Hell look like paradise. The same way his Daddy had done it, the same way his younger brother had done it. Revenge, payback, taking from those bastards what they had taken from us. It was a Hunters mantra.
"I want you to come with me." 'Cause it just wasn't right to sit in a cold, dark room with a dead body for three days.
"I'm not going anywhere." I wanted to yell at him, tell him I had loved and lost that boy too. But he was gone, and there was no turning back. I wanted to tell him that I loved him, too, and couldn't bear to see him like this. I was afraid I was going to lose him, too. And I couldn't. He was all I had left.
"Dean, please," was all that came out.
Ah, attitude, at least it was some kind of fire. Anything was better than that blank look, those green eyes dark with a grief the poor boy just couldn't deal with. Which was okay, because I had a plan.
"I gotta admit, I could use your help." This was part of the plan. Come on, Kid. A mission! A chance for payback.
"Somethin' big is going down- end of the world big."
"Well then let it end!" No, Kid, don't do this. Don't turn that fire on yourself.
"You don't mean that." Please, please don't mean that. But he was right in my face, and I could see, in those endless pools of pain, loss and hurt, that he did.
"You don't think so? Huh? You don't think I've given enough? You don't think I've paid enough?" Ah kid, no one should have to pay the price this job has asked of you, but you gotta stick with the plan. I had a plan. "I'm done with it. All of it. And if you know what's good for you, turn around and get the hell out of here."
And that's when I realize that I had forgotten. I had forgotten that he wasn't John or Sam Winchester, that revenge had never been enough for him. My plan would have worked with them, but not with him.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please, just go." Ah, I know y'are kid, I know. Me too. I let you down.
Because I had forgotten that the very reason he kept breathing everyday was lying on that mattress three days cold. I had forgotten that the Hunt, for him, was about love, not hate. He made it so easy to forget that, all these years. I could pretend he was one of us, could pretend that there was more to his life than protecting the little family he had left.
"You know where I'll be." But he won't come. I know it, sure as I'm standing here, that I'll never see him again.
I had forgotten.
He really doesn't care if the world ends, because his already had.