Disclaimer: I don't own, don't claim any credit, don't make any money. Such is life. Please don't sue me.
Strange, the things you think will make you happy.
Make other people happy.
Make them forgive you.
Why had he even thought that would appeal to Penny?
He hadn't thought.
And now, he can't stop thinking.
A vast, unforgiving continent filled to the brim with the most poisonous arachnids, reptiles, amphibians, and sea creatures known to man, and he'd wanted to gift-wrap it and hand it to the love of his life like a glorified box of chocolates.
Hell, even the goddamn platypuses had poisonous spurs.
He'd run into Captain Hammer the other night in the dark back corner of a seedy bar, smelling like he hadn't washed that muscle shirt with the stupid logo in at least a week, his formerly perfectly coiffed hair heavy and dull with grease and self-pity. The hero had been at the point of inebriation where his fear couldn't quite struggle through the haze of alcohol, and somehow Doctor Horrible found himself actually having a conversation with the cretin instead of beating the hell out of him.
The topic of Australia had come up, and Billy had mentioned—by this time he was pretty drunk too—his former intention to bestow upon Penny a continent full of death.
Captain Hammer had blinked blearily at this, and then belched. "Wow. Huh. That's ironic."
Billy was pretty sure Captain Hammer didn't know what 'ironic' meant.
And it was still the best conversation he'd had in months.
Strange, the things that actually make you happy.
At least for a little while.
"Bil—uh, Doctor Horrible?" Moist piped up. His dripping fingers fidgeted in the air over the targeting system. "You decided yet?"
He shook himself from his thoughts, and gazed out the window of the Horriplane at the coastline. The inky waves lapped against the sand, the surf making a sucking sound as though it were trying to devour the beach. Further on, cars dashed and lights danced in the roaring night of a city that should have belonged to Penny, even if she didn't want it.
He turned to Moist. Maybe doing this would make him happy again.
For a little while.