Italics are diary entries.

Bold are flashbacks.

Normal is real life.

Enjoy.


It feels like I have to put on a brave face for everyone, like seeing The Sonny Munroe sad is the first major sign of the apocalypse. Well, I can tell you one thing: this Sonny Munroe does not cry.

Except for now.

Sonny shook her head as one single teardrop sunk into the page of her diary. She settled into her dressing room couch and adjusted her pen in her slender fingers. It shook uncontrollably as she touched the tip of it to the page.

I've finally snapped.

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"Good!"

"Good!"

"Oh, and by the way, I never thought your hair was pretty."

I've reached my breaking point.

"Poor little Sonny Munroe; taken from her outcast of a state into the spotlight. So much pressure and she can't even handle it," he said, shaking his head in mock disappointment. "Poor little prude, inexperienced, amateur, annoying Sonny Munroe. You clearly don't belong here."

It's like I'm on the edge of a cliff, and with one more of his knowing smirks or playful winks, I'll fall.

"Sup, Munroe," he said with his infamous smile. "Nice outfit."

She looked down at her cheerleader costume for their new sketch and blushed. "Thanks," she mumbled.

"No," he said. "Thank you." He trailed his fingers across her back softly, winked, and sauntered coolly out of sight.

Finally, she could breathe.

But I've already fallen. Hard. I can't get back up, no matter how many people have tried to help.

"You'll find someone who will treat you right," her mother said soothingly, stroking her daughter's soft brown hair as her tears sunk into her shirt. "You deserve so much more, and you'll find someone who will cherish everything about you."

Why can't it be him?

"Bright blue eyes, perfect blonde hair, amazing body. It doesn't get much better than this, ladies."

I overheard him telling his friends that I just needed to get over him. Well, I'll get over him when he starts getting over himself.

"She's completely and totally in love with me. It's so obvious. I mean, who wouldn't be?"

Plus, it's not like there's anything to get over.

"You're a shell of a human being, Chad. You feel no emotions except love for yourself. You aren't worth the time of day, and you know it."

So, there have been a few more tears than usual since I'd met him. Big deal.

"Are you crying?"

"No!"

So, my head spins every time I see him. Yahoo.

"Feeling a little light-headed, Munroe? It's understandable, I mean, I am in the room."

So, my heart breaks a little more every day. Whatever.

"Are you feeling okay, Sonny?"

"Not really, Marshall. Can I go home?"

See? I'm perfectly fine. I just won't mention the fact that every single one of those statements kills me inside.

"What are you doing?!" Tawni shrieked.

"Shaving…"

"Shaving your wrist?!"

No, there's nothing to get over. I don't even like him…

"Listen, Sonny, I know I'm God-like, but could you stop staring?"

I love him.

"By the end of the week, you'll fall in love with me."

"I already have," she mumbled.

Stupid Chad Dylan Cooper.

"Hey, Munroe," the suave celebrity himself greeted as he entered the So Random! girl's dressing room.

Sonny immediately shut her diary and swiftly hid it under the pillow next to her.

"Chad," she replied solidly, silently hoping he hadn't seen her book.

"What are you doing?" he asked, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Nothing, just about to go to filming." She stood up and strutted past the teen heartthrob. With a flick of her brown locks and her dignity safely in place, she walked out of the room, praying he would follow her lead and leave as well.

Ha, yeah, like he didn't see the sparkly yellow book she had been writing in moments earlier.

Looking around cautiously, Chad sat on the couch and slid the bright yellow book out from under the pillow.

My Diary, it read. Chad licked his lips and rubbed his hands together happily.

"This should be good," he mumbled to himself.

Taking another look around, he opened the book and flipped through the first few pages. It was mainly doodling and sketch ideas, and Chad got bored very quickly. Just as he was about to shut the book and leave, he flipped to a page with Sonny's curly penmanship scribbled across the paper.

Curiosity flooding his mind, he began to read.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x

A few minutes later, Chad Dylan Cooper shut the tiny yellow book and slid it back in its hiding place. He ran a hand through his hair and breathed a deep sigh.

Suddenly, he had an idea.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Forty three and a half minutes later, Sonny Munroe returned from filming and smiled when she collapsed on the dressing room sofa, relieved to have finished the episode's filming for the week. He loved So Random! with her life, but she just felt like going home today.

Then she remembered her diary and its hiding spot, and she quickly retrieved it, hoping it was never touched or toyed with while she was gone. But as she pulled the little book out from under the fluffy pillow, she noticed a piece of paper attached to it.

The paper looked as if it had been ripped from a notebook and like it'd had been crumpled multiple times. She unfolded it carefully, making sure she didn't rip it. Messy writing filled its spaces. Leaning back comfortably in her seat, she began.

The counsellor on set told us to write out our deepest feelings on a piece of paper to relieve ourselves of anything that may distract us from acting. How lame is that? I don't want to waste time writing about feelings and other things I don't care about.

Sonny almost chuckled when she realized it had to be by Chad. But then she was filled with rage when it dawned on her that he must have found her diary. Dismissing the anger, she continued reading out of pure curiosity.

Well, I might as well get this over with.

My deepest feelings….hmm…

Whoa, hold on, a Random just barged onto the set again. What is with them? One second…

"Chad!" screeched Sonny, prowling around the set of Mackenzie Falls, searching frantically for him.

"You rang?" Chad said, sliding into view with a smirk on his face. He looked at Sonny and let out a laugh.

"Why would you do this?!" she shrieked, gesturing to her face, which had "I love Mackenzie Falls" neatly written in marker from ear to ear.

"Why wouldn't I?" He crossed his arms over his chest and smiled. "Teaches you not to sleep on the job, eh, Munroe?"

She scowled. "It won't come off. I've tried everything. Soap, sponges, make-up remover, even some--"

He raised a perfect hand to stop her. "If you hadn't noticed, I couldn't care less."

Sonny was livid. "You're such a jerk!"

"Oh, I know," he replied with a wink.

I think she just wants any excuse to see me, that Sonny Munroe, although, the feeling's mutual. It weird; she's a stupid Random and yet she's a girl that can always brighten my day somehow.

"Chad! Learn your lines for heaven's sake!"

"Chad, what the hell are you doing? Don't do that!"

"You're making it worse, Chad! Go away!"

So he did, and as the blonde wandered the hallways of the studio, he bumped into none other than Sonny Munroe.

"Chad," she hissed.

Chad, not in the mood to even start a meagre argument with her that day, just nodded and looked at the floor. Sonny noticed this, and without saying anything, handed him a lollipop she had from doing their Candyland sketch, smiled, and walked on.

Chad couldn't help but smile too.

She has some weird power over me. It's new, that's for sure. I'm usually the one to wear the pants in a relationship.

Not that…you know…I want a relationship with her, or anything…

"I bet you wouldn't know a real relationship if it bit you in the butt, Chad."

I don't even like her…

At all…

"What are you staring at?"

Just her smile…and maybe her eyes; they're so warm and chocolate-y. And her hair is pretty…she has a nice laugh, too. She's the one Random who can actually be funny, and I like being around her…

"Have you seen Sonny, Portlyn?"

She laughed. "No. Why?"

"…just wondering."

But that doesn't mean anything. She's still Sonny from Wisconsin, and I'm still Chad Dylan Cooper from Hollywood.

"Cool! You have a corvette? Back in Wisconsin, we just rode horses."

We clearly live in two different worlds.

"If you could have anything in the world, what would it be?"

"Why are you asking me this, Chad? Is this a trick question?"

"Just answer, Sonny."

"Um, okay, well I'd love for my family to move here with me. I miss them a lot. Wisconsin seems like another universe away from here. What about you?"

"…a new car."

Psh, no, I don't like Sonny.

"You're crazy! Insane! Nuts! Psycho!"

"Only for you," he said quietly to her retreating figure.

I love her.

"What's with you lately? You've been acting weirder than usual," she said with that amazingly cute smile of hers.

"Nothing. It's…nothing."

Stupid cute.

Sonny read the last few lines over and over and over again; it was so surreal.

"You know that feeling, Munroe?" a chillingly familiar voice asked from behind her.

She whipped around. "What feeling?"

He shoved his hands in his pockets as he sat down next to her, sighing. "You know, when your stomach does flips inside you, and your palms get all sweaty, and your heart pounds in your chest so fast that it feels like it's about to burst?"

Sonny nodded, blushing as she looked from his piece of journal to him. She almost couldn't comprehend what was taking place, nor where he was going with this, so she asked, "Do you?"

The boy shrugged. "No."

Sonny's face fell. She could have sworn he was going to…she sighed. She was just too hopeful of a person. She couldn't look him in the eyes, afraid that her sadness and disappointment would show.

"Until I met you," he added quietly.

"What?" she gasped.

He shrugged. "You're the first girl to do this to me," he breathed, and then he met her eyes. "You're pretty special, Munroe."

Sonny could feel the blood rushing to her cheeks, and the next thing she knew her lips were being covered by his gently. She smiled under them and closed her eyes.

"I hate you!"

"I hate you more!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"Good!"

"Good!"

"So are we good?"

"Absolutely amazing."