DISCLAIMER: I do not own Twilight or the poem "My Name Was Lucifer".

WARNING: There is references to rape, abuse and cutting, but nothing graphic. Also reading please know that some characters(mainly Charlie) are OOC.
Rated T for possible language in upcoming chapters.

Edward leaves Bella, and Charlie goes abusive. Bella has a notebook where she write about what's happening to her. On almost every page up until the last twelve page, she's either drawn pictures of the each of the Cullen's or written song on the page. But what happens when she finishes her notebook?

Author's Note: I'm working on the next chapter - So please review, and tell me what I can improve on.


Bella Point Of View:

New Years Day: I'd just finished my picture. It was of Rosalie holding a red rose in her hands, while Emmett had his arms around her waist. I miss Emmett and Rosalie. I definitely miss Alice. I really miss Esme and Carlisle and Jasper too. - "BELLA!" I was pulled out of me thinks by Charlie's yelling at me. I hope all he does is yell and leave. Things have gotten worst since Ed-he left, Charlie yells at me and sometime, I think he wants to hit me. When I got down-stair, Charlie did yell at me and then right before he left. He slapped me so hard that I fell to the floor.

My name is Bella
I'm eighteen,
Tonight, my dad turned very mean
But how can it be?
I'm not stupid,
I'm not bad.
So what have I done to make
My dad so mad?

Valentine's Day: I hate this holiday...I hate this holiday...I-Charlie came through my bedroom door, breaking me of my thought. The first thing I notice is that in his hand in a beer bottle and it's half way empty. I was scared at what he was about to do. "Its all your fault I'm alone on this day and your gonna fix that." He says, while stalking towards me. Next thing I know me hands are tied behind my back and Charlie made me lied down on the bed.-I really hate this holiday.

I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe Edward
Would still want to love me.

One month later: Since Edward left, I don't look the same. I lost weight. I'm so much paler. I feel so..breakable. And I'm covered ing bruises. Charlie yells at me and hits me so much, and I can't tell anyone. Who would believe the good chief of police would hit his own daughter.

I can't do a wrong
I cant' speak at all
Or else I'm locked up
All day long.

A few days later: Charlie's away for a few day and I'm all alone. I not going to lie. I thought about killing myself a few stops, but then I think about Renee and Jake, and I just can't do it. So I was carefully when I cut myself. I was bleeding away to pain and suffering that I'd been though. So I here I am bleeding away. Here I am alone at home.

When I'm awake
I'm all alone
The house is dark
My dad's not home

Four days later: I did everything Charlie told me to do. And then I went to sleep in my closet. He didn't get my that night. That night I feel safe, protect, and fine...at least that's how I feel until, when Charlie beat me for hiding from him. Then he left for work, and I went to go look at my new bruises.

When my dad does come home
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe, just maybe
I won't be raped tonight.

A few weeks later:Tonight was awful. Charlie had been at Billy's drinking. I'd asked Billy not to get him to much, but he didn't listen. When got home, first he slapped me and told me I was worthless, then he dragged me to his bedroom. I tried to finish him but he banged my head into something. My vision was going in and out, as Charlie tied me to his beds. And then he taped me mouth. 'This is going to be really bad,' I thought to myself, 'Usually he just lets me screamed.'. I don't know how, all I know is that Charlie burned me. He burned me and then cut me, and then to make it worst, he rape me all night long. Then he left me tied to the bed then the next day, while he went fishing with Billy.

I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Billy's bar.
I hear him curse.
My name is called,
I press myself
Against the wall
I try to hide
From his evil eyes.
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry
He finds me weeping.
Calls me ugly words,
He says its my fault
He suffers at work.

Two weeks later: Tonight while Charlie was hitting me, I did know what happened but I snapped. I knew that if I fought back all that would happen would me getting hurt worst, but I couldn't take it, So, I kicked him. I kicked, and I scratch. I did everything I could. I got away for a second and ran to the kitchen. Charlie followed me. I grabbed and knife and pointed it at him. "Stay away." I said. But he came toward me. backed up until I was against the wall."You would hurt your dad, would you?" Charlie said, coming closer. Then I cut his leg and ran, I ran to the front room but it was locket. I heard him coming, so I ran upstairs. Charlie grabbed me by the hair and throw me to the ground. I hit my head a soon black out.

He slaps and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And run to the door
He's already locked it.

One month until Bella's birthday: "You're worthless...No one wants you...This is why Edward left you, because your a worthless whore." Charlie said, as he beat me. This isn't right, why couldn't he just hit me and leave? But no, he hit my body and heart. He was ripping out my soul with what he was doing. Charlie picks me up by the throat, and I struggle to breathe. "You are worthless...just like you mother." Charlie growled, and with that., Charlie throw me against the wall and left.

I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall
I fall to the floor

Three weeks until Bella's birthday: When I got home today, I thought it would be safe to take a nap, so I did. When I woke Charlie was fuming. He grabbed me by my hair and pulled me up stair, while yelling about how I didn't have dinner ready. I hits me and slaps me. And the whole time, I'm screaming sorry and trying to make him stop, which only makes it worst.

With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken,
"I'm sorry!", I scream.

Two weeks until Bella's birthday: After dinner I straight to bed. I thought he won't hurt me tonight, because I'd done everything he asked. But no, he did hurt. He tied me to the bed and tied a rope around my throat. Every time I screaming or cried, he'd pull the rope tighter. I couldn't breathe and then I blacked out. When I came to, Charlie was gone, but he left me a present. He craved 'Charlie's' in the skin of my stomach. It wasn't bleeding, but it made me realize that no one would want me not.

But it's now much to late
His face has been twisted
Into a unimaginable shape
The hurt and the pain
Again and again.

One week until Bella's birthday: Tonight Charlie not only hit me, but raped me too. And to make it worst he invited some of his drinking buddies over. They tied me to the bed and took turns raping me over and over again. I screamed and scream but no help come. The neighbors just turn out the light. I feel so alone.

Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!

Three days until Bella's birthday: I was so badly hurt from yesterday, that Charlie told me to stay home. But before he left for work, he slapped me across the face and punches me in the stomach.

And he finally stops
And heads for the door.
While I lay there motionless
Brawled on the floor

Two nights before Bella's birthday: Charlie was yelling and raping me again, but tonight was different for two reasons. One- I only had one page left in my notebook. And two - after rape me, he went downstairs to the kitchen. I was worried about what her could me getting. My worry was justified when he can back up to my room, he blank look on his face that scared me and in his hand was a hunting knife. Before I could do anything or say something or even scream for help that I knew would never come, Charlie stabbed me in the stomach. Then he smiled at me, brushed the hair out of my face and, told he loved me and this was for the best way for everyone. Then he tucked me under the cover, kissing my forhead, and then he left me there to bleed to death. Everything was fading in and out, I should have been scared about dying, but I was relieved. The pain would stop, no one could hurt me. But, there was one thing I had to do before I die - I had to finish my notebook. So with all the strength I had left, I reached over to the nightstand and got out my notebook. I could find a pen, so I thought 'Why do I need a pen...I'm bleeding to death...why not write it blood'. I think it was quite poetic really, what I did. The whole writing my death poem in blood. I wrote four simply lines.

My name was Bella
I was almost nineteen,
And last night my daddy
Murdered me.

Before I slipped away I felt cold arms encircle me.


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