Why yes, my dear readers, I am still alive! I'm still finishing up chapter 10 for "True Love Never Dies" and I hope to have it up within the next few days. I appreciate you support and the birthday wishes! I couldn't stand to keep you all waiting for some more writing so I decided to put up my "Defining Twilight" contest entry. (Yay, the copyright stays with the author!) The entries were supposed to be 1000 words or less (bit limiting for me but I think I did okay!) and we had to use 8 words from a list in our story.
I decided to rewrite part of the battlefield scene from Esme's POV. I hope you all like it...See you at the bottom =)
I sauntered across the field to see the faces of my children and granddaughter one last time. "I love you all beyond comprehension," I whispered as I passed. And it was true. The devotion and care I felt for them was omnipresent, they knew I was not lying.
My hands lingered on Edward, my first son's face, as I kissed him goodbye. But it was hardest seeing young Renesmee, knowing that her life had only just begun and was now about to end. I detested the Volturi more than anything right now and had to fight the venom begging to pool inside of my mouth.
My meandering was ended abruptly as my gaze settled on my husband, my noble Carlisle, whose face was as hard as steel. The most commended, and the most caring of us all was hiding his emotions. My longing to approach was made difficult by my current dearth of optimism upon seeing him. Was he so afraid that he resorted to erratic-for-him behavior in order to protect me?
He appeared to have exiled himself from the group; not so far away that he'd be out of range to help, but far enough to raise my suspicions. Had Chelsea succeeded in breaking him? Would this end with him declaring his opposition to what he'd helped assemble?
No. I would be strong, I would be brave. Alice had left with Jasper as the odds were greatly against us, but her visions were subjective. The future was not set in stone. There was no degree of permanence that it was compelled to live up to.
With my emotional lassitude behind me, I flitted over to my husband, desperate to hear his dulcet, calming voice and even more desperate to wash away his pain. "Carlisle," I whispered as I intertwined our fingers. "Please don't do this to me," I could hear my voice cracking as I spoke.
He kept his tone quiet in an attempt to disguise his fear. "What do you mean Esme?"
"This face is not yours," I said softly as I traced his jaw line. "The Carlisle I love isn't afraid to show me how he feels. It hurts to see you like this."
"I thought it would be best this way… I don't want you to see me break at the end."
"I just want you, no matter what you feel. If we… die, I want to die knowing we never kept anything from each other," That's when he collapsed into my arms, all of his anguish finally released. We both sobbed dryly, our shoulders shaking, completely vulnerable. Between sobs, there were kisses, and between kisses, there were exchanges of "I love you."
I thought of Carlisle standing in the field with Aro and the urge I had to run out there with him. I remembered Aro seeing every intimate detail between Carlisle and I; so many memories that he had no right to view. Then I realized just how inconsequential those moments seemed compared to where we were now.
I prayed that Alec would blind and deafen us. Death would be easier if we couldn't see each other burn or hear each other scream. I fervently hoped that my children would somehow escape. The thought of them perishing in this standoff sent chills and daggers through my heart.
The chances were good that we would not walk away from this. And even if some of us managed to survive, I would not leave without Carlisle. If he met the pyre, so did I. Though I couldn't bear the notion of leaving, my kids were tough, they could go on with their loves and their lives. I noticed Edward cringe at his post. "You will go on. Bella and Nessie need you," I thought to him.
I inhaled lightly against Carlisle's neck and stroked his hair as I continued to cradle him. His fragrance had never been as potent as it was now. His hands rubbing my arms had never felt more perfectly placed. I loved him even more than I had for the past decades we'd been together.
We'd seen heartache and we'd lost family, but now we were all lined up to meet our end. The queer thing is I was no longer afraid. As much as I hated it to end so violently, I knew I'd suffered worse. As much as I didn't want my soul mate or children to fight, I knew they were doing it with pride, that they would not be assuaged without battling, and that we'd never been closer.
We would either "live" a family or die a family.
"I'm scared Esme," Carlisle shook in my grip. "I don't want to be separated from you," My heart sank as I knew that we would not be killed together; Jane would see to that. I could only pray that Carlisle wouldn't have to watch me as I was set aflame.
"I know. I am too, but we'll live through this, I promise," I hated parting with a lie.
"Esme…" He trailed off.
"I want you to run."
"If you fight, I fight. I'm not leaving without you. Not ever. I'm not losing you!"
"I'll cover you then."
"I'll protect you too," I smiled up at him gently and he kissed my forehead.
There was hope, I had conviction. Even if this became our last day on Earth, I had the feeling that we would meet again on the other side. I could handle that; our family would be reunited.
I spoke quietly in my head, "I love you Edward. I'll see you in the next world," Edward nodded, albeit dolefully, but with renewed faith.
"It's starting," I heard from further down our line.
I hugged Carlisle tightly once more, "Until the end," I said.
"Until the very end."
Before you comment about it in your review (if you do review of course...which I love!), I did remember that Aro didn't touch Carlisle's hand, but instead opted to see it from Edward's memories. But this is fanfiction, and surely something that small won't kill the piece if it's tweaked a bit. ;) I'm thinking of working this into an extended version of the scene from Esme's perspective. Thoughts? Thanks for reading everyone; you all become more and more amazing with each story that I post!
Just three songs fueled my writing of this story. They are all from the Twilight Score by Carter Burwell- "Treaty", "Nomads" and "In Place Of Someone You Love".