Disclaimer: Gilmore Girls belongs to Amy and Dan Palladino. "Life During Wartime" is a creation of Talking Heads.

A/N: My version of Finn in this story is loosely based on one of my best friends in the world, someone whom I barely know. This is dedicated to him, in a weird way.

"Once upon a time…"

Finn hastily scratched out that line. It was much too clichéd to start out his life story, as clichéd as his life may be. At 40, Finn was the jet-setting CEO of a multi billion dollar corporation blah blah blah. Really, who wanted to hear about his semi charmed life? Someone, apparently, because he had been tapped to pen his life story: how he went from outback to Forbes 500. It was a really boring fucking story, if you asked him.

So for the past three months he'd been trying to put his life story into words. 'Trying' being the keyword. So far, nothing past the introduction. And even that left something to be desired.

He sighed and took a liberal sip of his scotch and soda. Finn knew how he came to be, how he went from Yale playboy to the most eligible bachelor in LA. He knew how and why he was the way he was, but was America ready for him to spill his guts on how he become, as Rory once put it, a "robot?"

Probably not.

It wasn't as if he didn't want to care, he just couldn't. That was probably why he was such a good CEO. His life story wasn't a pretty one, not the all-American, be all you can be story. And it certainly wasn't the rags-to-riches story that Hollywood loved so much.

"Once upon a time, an arrogant little prick got sent to a correctional boarding school in the middle of the goddamn desert because of a few bad grades, and there is life fell apart."

That oughta catch their attention, he thought.