Hey guys :) A new fic, i'm totally completely insane. This is ten i think? Oh well. :P This is for FadeIntoTheBackground, my best friend aka Alice, who has just today got out of hospital cos she broke her ankle. And now can't go on holiday so i think you guys should go read her fic, it's Harry Potter but it's brilliant and come on peole, who hasn't seen/read a bit of Harry Potter? There is no excuse! Jokes :P Hope you enjoy.
Disclaimer: None of it is mine. *sighs*
Change is coming
She was sat in her office, her office of all fucking places to do this, to find out. She was curled up in a ball, knees tucked under chin, on her chair with her back to the door which led into the place. Unwanted, unnecessary tears streaking her face, she brushed them away quickly, angrily. She didn't want to cry. She hadn't for a very, very long time. Hell she'd come close, very close but she'd somehow managed to bottle it up inside, not let any of it out. But this, this was huge. She felt she had a right to cry for this, no matter how much she hated it. And she did hate crying, it made her feel weak and useless. Two things she'd tried for years to convince herself she was not. She hadn't shed a single tear since the anniversary of her mothers death, and that had been eight months ago.
Being strong was something Teresa Lisbon prided herself on, and she was. She was strong, she was tough. She had coped with all the things life had thrown at her, all the crappy, crappy things life had thrown at her as an innocent, unsuspecting girl. And now she was a woman and new better than most the harsh realities of life. And coped with them on an everyday basis, so why? Why was it she was falling to pieces at an eight letter word?
She'd been through and put up with a ton of crap in her life, a lot. Bad things, horrible things had happened. But she'd got through it, somehow. And her job wasn't exactly the safest – but she couldn't remember being this scared in her entire life. She was so incredibly terrified she couldn't breathe, she felt trapped. There was no way out, there was no way back, there was no way except forward – but it was forward that scared her the most, forward was full of uncertainties, fear, the unknown.
To be honest she was still reeling in shock, all she could think about was this. This whole mess. Nothing practical, nothing useful was coming to her. Just that feeling like she been, hit by a bus, or struck by lightening or something else completely and totally out of the blue.
She'd made mistakes before, yes. Everyone had, or was going to. It was a fact of life. But normally most of her mistakes were fixable, or she was able to work around them and this, this was definitely not. Inwardly she cursed herself; she shouldn't be seeing this as a mistake. She would hate that.
"Hey Lisbon," Damn Jane, he'd entered her office without knocking – again, she scrambled frantically to hide the object in her hands and in desperation ended up sitting on it. Quickly brushing away a few stray tears that she hadn't realized were existent, she swiveled on her chair to face him.
"What do you want Jane?" She sighed as she stole a glance at his greeny-blue eyes; they were full of hurt and confusion. Something although she would never admit it, Lisbon really hated to see – even more so when she knew she was the cause of both of those emotions.
"I'm sorry," her eyes pleaded with him, but then she realized who she was looking at, more shockwaves hit her and she looked away. She had to, because if she didn't she knew she would start crying again and she just, she just couldn't.
"What's wrong?" he asked softly, concern written all over his face.
"Why can't you just start off with, are you alright or something? Why is something always wrong?" She said, her voice was off higher than usual under a lot of strain.
This was bad, he thought. Very bad.
"Ok," he decided to tread gently, observing her closely he asked, "Are you alright?"
"No," her insides screamed, she swallowed, "What, no witty remark?"
"Just answer the question Teresa," she sharply breathed in as she heard him speak her name.
She swallowed, "I'm fine Jane," she managed, adding a fake smile on the end to complete the effect.
"You're lying," he stated. "Now, tell me what's wrong? I thought we'd got past the awkwardness, the avoiding?" He looked her into her eyes for the answer; they were such a beautiful mesmerizing green, "Why have you been crying?"
She turned away, but he crouched down and gently guided her face back around to him under her chin. Now those beautiful green eyes of hers were glistening, with tears for what was evidently the second time.
How the hell was she going to tell him?
That little voice in her head was telling her that. A huge part of her wanted to chicken out, to prolong what he would inevitable find out anyway.
She'd hurt him so badly when she'd told him it couldn't happen again, because she was scared, scared of getting hurt. She'd been a coward then.
But not again, not this time.
She was Teresa Lisbon, she was strong, and she would tell him. Because there was no way she could bottle this up, and there was no way she could do it alone.
But of course that didn't stop the tears spilling over. Because she was scared, and she'd never been this scared in her entire life.
"Jane… Patrick," she held eye contact. She had to hold eye contact. Come on Teresa it was now or never. "I'm pregnant," she sobbed as emotions, sheer exhaustion and stress overwhelmed her, "It's yours."
Please review!!! I live off the things :P So pretty please do. If you're bored you could always check out my other mentalist fics (after Alices of course :P) because i'm going on holiday tomorrow for two weeks :( No UD's i'm afraid unless i type one up quick and send it to Ali... which i may do.
Thanks a bunch for reading and hopefully reviewing!