Disclaimer:I don't write fanfiction for fun. Oh. Wait- yeah I do!

Author's Notes:I'll just say this first. I have absolutely nothing against Chouji. In fact, I like him quite a bit for such an underdeveloped character. This story is definitely not a best, but I decided to post it because I happen to enjoy it.


Silence (noun) – absence of any sound or noise; stillness; the state or fact of being silent; muteness.

Naruto didn't quite agree with Webster's definition. Sure, he understood what they were getting at, and sure, that was silence. But then, if that was silence, what would you call what was going right now?

Because he sure as heck didn't read 'awkward as hell' in the definition.

Cerulean locked with obsidian. Naruto kept opening his mouth to say something, anything at this point, but some sort of divine entity was working against him today, because of all the polite, socially acceptable things his brain had conjured up, he somehow managed to only push out:

"What the hell, Chouji?"

The young man looked up from his bag of chips. At nineteen Chouji had finally worked off some of his weight, but nothing drastic; he was still soft, circular, "pleasantly plump" Chouji.

Which made everything more disturbing.

"You heard me," he grunted around the barbecue chips in his mouth. Which was actually on the funny side, now that the blond thought about it, because now he really couldn't hear him. "You. Me. At my place. Naked. With my mom's -"

Which was the point where Naruto decided to cut off the rest of that sentence for sanity purposes. Dressed only in a pair of blue boxers he didn't remember buying, he was becoming more and more uncomfortable in the chilly October air outside his apartment. And judging from the grunts inside, his partner for the day was growing more and more impatient.

"Yeah, um. Chouji. No. Y'see….Tenten's inside right now, and we're sort of busy. So if you don't mind?" He began to take a step backwards, hoping to the gods that Chouji would leave it there.

Too bad he'd pissed on that shrine during last week's mission.

"But Naruto!" Chouji whined, latching himself onto Naruto's leg. The blonde, rather indiscreetly, attempted to kick him off. "Here I am, offering you my body…."

"I don't want your body!" Naruto yelped as Chouji attempted to rub his leg. "And for gods sake, don't touch me there!"

Chouji let go with a sigh. "But what am I gonna do with all the stuff I bought? I mean, I've got the whip cream, the cherries, the hot wax- everything!"

Squirming under Chouji's touch, Naruto moved as far away from him as he could get, namely, pressed up against the door.

"While I really….uh….appreciate your offer," Naruto tried, snatching his leg away before Chouji could pounce on it, "I like girls."

Chouji sat back, astonished. " Are you kidding me?" he stammered. Naruto shook his head. "Whaddya mean you like girls? I mean, how is that even possible? The newspaper ad said you were searching for a 'male partner'!" And with a punctuated flourish, he thrust the article up at him.

There, circled with yellow highlighter, was the ad, just as Chouji promised. He scanned the clipping until something at the bottom caught his eye. Then he smiled benignly at the tragically misinformed man and handed the article back.

"Sorry Chouji, I'm not interested." he closed the door as he said it, leaving the rotund young man outside to deal with the life changing news. He walked past a complaining Tenten and into the closet, where he kept his ninja tools, and took hold of a kunai before walking right back out again.

What he'd seen at the bottom of the paper? Two small, seemingly insignificant initials.