I don't know the characters names, but really, this thing is so ridiculous that it works better without them. Enjoy? Maybe? =D

Let's Visit the Sun!

"I has kitty!" main guy yelled, holding the petrified cat in his hands as he ran around in circles.
Blond guy and other girl stood in great disinterest as they watched.
"Cat hat!" main guy yelled, putting the cat on his head, not even noticing the claws that dug into his skull as the cat clung on for dear life.

"What is he doing?" main evil guy asked, watching main guy on a screen and slightly annoyed at his ability to run in perfect circles. 'I want to be perfect, too,' he thought as he pouted.
Evil girl and midget shrugged, but said nothing.
"Stop him!" evil guy said, his voice slightly breaking as he held in his imperfect tears.
Evil girl and midget looked at each other before running off.

"It's them!" blond guy said, pointing as evil girl and midget jumped from their car, evil girl not bothering to stop it, all watching as it plowed into a children's hospital, causing the building to explode.
Awkward silence followed.
"Kick the midget!" main guy yelled as he ran at the midget at a hundred miles an hour, arms flailing madly.
The midget could only stand, petrified in fear.
Main guy planted his left foot and kicked with all of his might with his right foot. Contact was made and he watched excitedly as the midget flew off, leaving the earths atmosphere and flying towards the sun.
"Midget!" evil girl yelled sadly. "Wait for meeee~!" She stood on the ground and jumped as high as she could, not getting high enough to follow the midget, but never giving up.
"Whee!" main guy said as he stood next to evil girl and jumped with her.
The cat continued to hang on.
"You hungry?" blond guy asked, girl nodding and the two of them driving off to get some burgers and shakes.

Main evil guy watched the screen, sobbing uncontrollably as he watched the main guys perfect jumps. "I wanna be perfect, too!" he blabbered as he pounded his fists on the desk.
Wanting to end it all, he stood on his desk and jumped as high as he could, more tears coming as he was too imperfect to reach the sun, realizing that even the midget was better than him.
"It's not fair!" he wept as he continued to jump up and down on his desk, hoping that the sun would wait for him, but knowing that even a giant fiery star was more awesome than him and would probably die rather than have him grace its presence.