Jacob. I had never considered him a rival for Bella's affection. It would appear, now, that I had won. Not that Bella was a trophy to be won. She meant far more to me then that. She was my life, and she was now my wife. I often caught myself thinking of him, well that's not entirely true. It was more that, I wondered if she thought of him. I couldn't read her mind, so never knew. I was, however, grateful to Jacob for helping her pick up the pieces of her life, I had ever so carelessly made fall apart. I would never forgive my self for leaving her, I would spend the rest of eternity trying to make it up to her.
What am I doing? Its my honeymoon for gods sake. I shouldn't be thinking like this!
We had arrived at Isle Esme early this morning. I was preparing Bella brunch, while she freshened up in the bathroom. She was going to call Charlie also, let him know we had arrived safely. I firmly believed he found it incredibly difficult to let go of his daughter. They loved each other immensely, even if it was rarely said out loud.
Our wedding and reception last night, was amazing. She had looked absolutely exquisite, as she walked down the aisle towards me. I could picture it all clearly in my head. Bella's face, she had a long neck., a graceful jaw line, full mouth, blushing cheeks, and wide set chocolate brown eyes. Her features were combined in graceful harmony. I knew, without a doubt, that I had never seen a more beautiful woman. Her dress, strapless, clung tightly to the top half her body. It was decorated beautifully in swarovski crystals in a intricate design. Her pale arms were long and graceful. The bottom half of her dress flowed as she moved, gracefully, down the aisle towards me.
I still strove to think of words to describe her in that moment. The total effect was…dazzling. Bella was gorgeous, stunning, magnificent.
As I thought of her long graceful arms, her eyes, her bare shoulders I could feel myself becoming aroused, but then it came upon of me with an insistent agonizing demand. I wanted her with an urgency I had never known before.
I was tempted to rush into the bathroom and touch her. My hands itched to caress her perfect, warm, soft body. I wanted to discover her secret places; to explore, to taste, to give my Bella pleasure.
I desperately, tried to reign myself in. Trying to control my urges. The closer our wedding date approached, the more aroused I became, and so easily. I had hidden it well from Bella, or so I think so. Now we were married, and I had promised we would try and make love. I shuddered at the thought, from absolute fear and eagerness. I wanted this, so badly. I wanted to be able to make love to my wife, but I was terrified. I feared I would lose control and bite her, or be so in control of not biting her, I crushed her instead. These thoughts tortured me continually. I knew the countdown was now on. It would be only hours away before we would try, for the first time, to make love.
Make love. Bella's body moving with mine, as one.
I shuddered, as the current of electricity I felt at that thought, rippled through my body.
I had been so wrapped in my thoughts, I hadn't heard Bella walk into the kitchen. When I looked up. Time slowed. She was wearing a navy blue, cotton strapless sundress. My favourite color on her was blue. It made her soft skin the appearance of fresh cream. I could see 2 black straps on her shoulders, that weren't part of the sundress. Must be a swim suit under the dress. Looks like we will be going swimming today. The smell of the strawberry shampoo she used lingered in her hair, it was still dame from her shower. Pushing her hair out her face, sat a pair of sunglasses. She depicted the summer look flawlessly.
"Edward?", shed obviously caught me gazing at her.
"I…uh…was just getting your brunch ready, Bella, it shouldn't be to much longer." I picked up the tea towel that was on the bench, twisting to my left, and then to my right, feeling momentarily confused. If it would have been possible for me to be flustered, I would have been. I hadn't felt like this since I was a new born. I had practiced smooth self control until it was an art. For the first time, in the longest time I felt…human.
I heard Bella pull out a bar stool, and take a seat.
"Smells delicious, Edward." Bella commented, she loved my cooking. Food Network hadn't failed me yet.
You smell delicious.
I flicked her omelets onto her plate, and pulled some bacon, hash brown and sausage out the oven onto her plate also, then handed her the plate over the bench.
"Enjoy," I gave her the plate, grinning my dazzling smile. I heard her heartbeat quicken instantly.
"Edward," she said playfully. "If you expect me to eat this, then no dazzling me, its not fair."
"Sorry, my love. You need to eat, but I don't think I can wipe this smile off my face. Im just so happy."
And I was, and I wasn't joking about the smile. It may well be plastered to my face for some time to come.
She giggled, as she raised one eyebrow to me, reached over and grabbed the fork out of my hand, and began to eat her breakfast.
"So," I started, "Did your ring Charlie?"
She looked at me, nodding. Her moth full of food. She held her fork, making circles in the air with it. Like that somehow was going to speed up her chewing.
"Yes, yes I did. He stayed at your parents for awhile after we left. I think he had a good time. Alice gave him instructions on texting, so he's going to try his hand at that." She was smiling to herself. I didn't need to read her mind to see what she was thinking. Charlie, with his step by step instructions on texting would be quite amusing to watch.
"Jacob texted, that he's sorry," she watched my carefully, looking for a reaction. There was none, the smile stayed on my face.
I shouldn't be like this. She did, after all, marry me.
"You forgave him?" knowing full well, she would, and already had.
"Yeah," she looked down at her food, now playing with it with her fork, looking suddenly tense. I didn't want to argue about this, not today.
"I knew you would, he is, after all, your best friend. it's a good quality to have when you know when you need to apologize. Even if it is through a text message."
A even better quality would be for him to find someone else to play fetch with.
She quickly relaxed, and went back to eating, while watching me intently while I tided the kitchen. I could feel her eyes watching me. I couldn't take it anymore, I was beginning to get more and more frustrated wondering what she was thinking
"What are you thinking, Bella?" I asked, exasperated.
"That you're the most, amazing, most wonderful, most handsome, most…well your just everything I could ever ask for in a husband. Your perfect…….not to mention sexy, and you can cook," she smiled as she lifted her empty plate to show she had eaten everything.
Just like that, the urge was back.
I walked around the bench to her, her eyes never leaving mine. When I leaned closer, I could smell her warm skin. I was ready to take her, without even asking, if I could have been able. But I sensed, even though she wanted this as much as I did. She wasn't someone who could be taken easily, she had her idea on how things would happen. I was sure of it.
I leaned into kiss her, but was stopped by the animal magnetism in her gaze. I looked into her deep brown eyes and felt drawn in deeper. Her heart was pounding, her face grew warm, her body quivered, bringing a strong scent of her arousal to my attention. I was going to explode.
What is wrong with me?
I tore my eyes away from hers, looking down, only to notice my own arousal making itself known. Her eyes had followed mine, and she was now staring at my erection straining against my pants. I felt an overpowering urge to take her hand, to make her touch me, there.
No, not now. Not like this.
I closed my eyes, breathed in deeply and tried to still my shuddering.
It was going to be a very long day.