100-word Buffyverse Halloween drabble, suggested by recent story summaries on Twisting the Hellmouth.
All characters belong to their respective creators etc., there is no intent to infringe on copyright. This story may not be distributed on a profit-making basis. Warning - character death.
by Marcus L. Rowland
"I'm out of ideas," said Xander, "so I'm just going to be the fifth Marx Brother."
"That's just a suit and a tie," said Willow, "and a label on the jacket. And anyway..."
She realised that Xander wasn't listening, and followed him out into the street.
* * * * *
"It was horrible," sobbed Willow. "When the spell hit Xander just... shrank. I could see him lying on the ground... and then Spike picked him up, flicked him, and threw him into the gas station. He just melted in the fire."
"But surely..." said Giles.
"I tried to tell him he'd spelled Zeppo wrong..."
Note: For the benefit of the hard of thinking, a Zippo is a cigarette lighter. A Zeppo (as in the BtVS episode of that name) was the stage name of the fifth and allegedly least useful Marx brother. Ironically, his stage name originally was Zippo - after a popular trained chimp of the time, the lighters weren't invented until 1933 - but he disliked it, and changed it to "Zeppo." Thanks to Don Sample and Wikipedia for some of this information. I'll leave it to someone else to write the "Xander becomes a chimp" story.