Disclaimer and other junk: Wow, chapter 10! I never would have thought I would have made it this far! Hah, take that society! I have made it past a chapter! *insert Kira laugh* Ahem, yes. I'm quite happy I've made it this far. Surely you are too, right? Right? RIGHT? Answer me!
Me: Shut up, Light-kun or I'm going to make bad things happen to you through the power of Fan Fiction!
Me: Now, isn't there something you'd like to add on my behalf?
Light: Uh, Cherry does not own anything except for the words you see here and here. Death Note and its characters belong to its rightful owners. Also, this Fan Fiction is full of yaoi, cuteness, blood, cursing, mild violence, suspense and my infinite love for Ryuuzaki. If you don't like what you hear, leave immediately or I'll use my Death Note on you.
Me: That was lovely, Lighty. *hugs*
Light: Thanks, I guess.
Me: Now let's get this show on the road! Whoo!
Chapter 10: Reflections and Revelations
Silence. Silence and tears were all left scattered inside this room; the infuriating knocking outside this demented room disturbing the quiet that inhabited us. Our bodies pressed against one another's, holding each other for dear life, hoping we would never be torn from each others arms where we truly belonged.
But, sadly, my father hates who I am, who I've become. No, not Kira, the demented psychopath that inhabits my being, but a hopeless romantic whose in love with L, the greatest detective in this whole world. I really don't understand why it's so bad that I, a male, am in love with another male. Honestly, is there really a right or wrong way to love or fall in love?
L gripped tightly handfuls of my dress shirt, letting his silent tears fall down upon my covered chest. I held him tighter in my arms, kissing the top of his messy, black hair that I loved so much.
I didn't have much time, the knocking outside continued, signaling me to hurry the fuck up and get out. My dad said he's taking me back home. Home. Home? This is my home, here with L. I can't bear the thought of calling another place home where I know L won't be there to hold me.
L looked up at me, sniffling and wiping away the tears the still flowed out of his obsidian eyes.
"Light-kun…let's try to make the best of things." whispered my lover in his monotone as he made the greatest effort to smile under all those tears. I sighed and petted his hair.
"You're right, angel. I mean, there's no way dad will let me stay here so let's try to make this a positive instead of a negative." L nodded and wiped the remaining tears with his sleeve. I held his hand and led him toward our bedroom, ignoring the pounding against the door.
L sat on the bed and I sat beside him, bringing him closer to rest his head on my chest. L sighed and started fiddling with my shirt, still in silence. But the silence wasn't at all that awkward, it was actually quiet nice.
Then he spoke.
"Light-kun, I love you more than anything." He said, as he made his way onto my lap. I smiled.
"Even more than cake?" I asked, jokingly. He giggled.
"Of course, Light. My love for cake can't even amount to how much I love you." He said as he placed a light kiss on my cheek. I smiled and blushed. I will always and forever love this man right next to me. Whether my homophobic approves or not, does he really have a say in whom I can and can't love? No. I make my own path when it comes to love and so far, I've found my angel; my sweet, sweet angel, L.
We sat there, in silence in that position for a while until I leaned in and dove in for a kiss. My lips and tongue completely ravished his, invading and memorizing every area of his sweet mouth. He moaned and whimpered, grasping onto fistfuls of my chestnut hair, gaining a groan from my throat.
My back hit the bed, making the springs creak. I kept kissing him with that overwhelming passion that took control over my body and then placed my hands on his bum, giving it a squeeze.
"Ah, Light." moaned L as we broke apart, the look of pure lust on his eyes. I licked my lips; he looked oh so delicious. I desperately wanted to trace patterns with my tongue all over his paper white body that belonged to me.
"L…" I whispered in his ear, giving a lick right after. He shivered on top of me, the pink blush that graced his cheek were now a bright red. He looked down upon me, looking like he was going to devour me. His lips were so close to mine and one step closer to my personal Nirvana.
But, alas, as close as we were to becoming one, my phone began to blast out its ringtone, Light's Out by Mindless Self Indulgence, which I found utterly annoying at this moment.
"Fuck." I thought to myself.
L sat up on my lap and I did as well, still holding him close to me. I finally, with a sigh, picked up the phone and surprised at the voice at the other end.
"Light, where the hell are you?"
"I'm still up here. Just give me a few more minutes to-"
"Light, I don't have time for this! Get your things and meet me outside. Jesus, I even made Matsuda go up to your room to escort you out but I'm guessing you were too busy with L to even bother."
I wanted to yell and scream but I just sighed.
"Alright, dad. I'll be right over." I said and I hung up the phone.
I looked at L; his eyes were darted on his lap where his fingers were twiddling, nervously. I sighed and petted his head.
"Everything's going to be fine, L. We'll work something out. I promise."
L sighed then looked at me, his eyes full of sadness and tears just ready to overflow from his obsidian eyes. It hurt just looking at him, knowing that this is most likely the last time I'll see him again. I mean, with Kira still controlling my body, I don't have much time until I die or lose my memories forever. I hope that God would at least let me keep the wonderful memories of L and me. I could care less about my original goal of becoming a god of some sort, I just want to happy.
"Light, you're leaving, aren't you?" said L, his voice low and his head still looking down. I petted his hair and slowly spoke.
"Yeah, I'm leaving soon. But there's something I want to give you before then." I said. L jerked his head upwards and looked at me. I smiled.
I got up from the bed and went over to the mahogany nightstand that was placed next to our bed. I opened it and could feel L's eyes staring at my back. I smiled as I pulled out the glossy strips of paper that graced beautiful memories that I hope I will never forget.
I'm not sure if he remembers these pictures; I've kept them safe ever since that day we went to the mall on our very first date. I remember he was hesitant in getting inside the photo booth but, in the end, he went inside with me. He didn't know what to do, exactly but after I kissed his cheek in the first shot, he knew exactly what kind of pictures I wanted as keepsakes. We actually ended up taking three strips of photos, all of which made me so very happy.
I even took one of myself alone because I want L to remember me, always. I want him to only think of me. Damn it, I know I sound selfish but I can't help myself! I'm in love with him and I just want to hold on to this feeling of love just a little bit longer. I might forget it all after Kira gets me.
"Light, what is it?" said L as he buried his face on my back which startled me a bit. I got up, hiding the pictures on my back, sat on the bed and smiled. L smiled a small smile and crawled up to sit beside me.
"L, do you remember our first date?" I asked, smiling at my messy-haired lover. He blushed and that small smile still playing upon his lips.
"Of course I remember, Light-kun! How could I ever forget such a perfect day." He said still blushing and his thumb resting upon his smiling lips. I rested my head on top of his and placed the photos on his lap.
L's face light up and he gasped in surprise. Maybe he'd forgotten about the picture or maybe he though I misplaced them but whatever the reason, he looked so happy to see those memories recorded on these shiny strips of paper.
"Oh, Light-kun, these are…" he didn't even finish his sentence before he tackled me down to the bed, holding me tightly and thanking me over and over again.
I chuckled and embraced him. His face was buried into my chest and then he looked up at me and smiled.
"There's something I want to give you as well, Light-kun." He said, still smiling. I smiled back and kissed his lips tenderly.
"There's no need to give me anything, my angel. All I need is you." I said as I buried my face into his messy black locks. L jerked his head upwards and pouted which just made him seem absolutely adorable.
"Please, Light-kun? I want you to keep something that will always make you think of me while you're gone." said L, his cheeks gaining a pink tint. I nodded and smiled at him as a reply.
L got up and walked slowly to the closet. He opened them and pulled out a box which has never caught my eye whenever I opened it. L walked back to the bed and sat beside me once more.
He handed me the aged box that seemed very fragile and delicate with all the years and the amount of damage it had.
"Open it." He said, simply.
Inside the box laid a perfectly made silver pendant locket. The locket was heart shaped and had a beautiful design engraved upon it. It was simply beautiful.
"Oh, wow, L! This is beautiful!" I said, hugging him in gratitude.
"You're welcome, Light-kun. I wanted to give you something precious. That necklace…is the only memento of my deceased parents."
I didn't know what to say or what to do. I mean, this is such a valuable and precious pendant and he's giving it to me?
"I love you, L and I promise that I'll treasure this as much as I treasure you and my own life." I said as I pulled him into a tight hug.
"I love you, too, Light-kun. I'll love you till the very end." He said, snuggling closer to me.
Then my stupid phone rang, again.
"Light, there you are! Where the hell have you been?" exclaimed my father as I walked through Headquarters' doors, L right beside me. I had a messenger bad over my shoulder and a small duffle bag being carried by L, who insisted on helping me. But I knew from his pained expression, his head still looking down at the floor as we walked ever so slowly, he hated me leaving. Hell, I wasn't too fond of the idea, either.
"Sorry, dad, we we're just finishing up with the packing."
"Well took you damn long enough. Let's go." He said, his body already heading for the exit. I sighed and motioned for L to come along. We walked together side by side, in silence as my dad strode on, heading for the small, teal sports car he barely used.
I sighed. So this really was happening, after all? I have to leave the one I love for God knows how long, right? I can't say anything or ask for God's help since I am beyond redemption. Hell, in the eyes of sinister ghouls like myself, I am God. But, as I came to realize thanks to L, I'm just as pitiful, resentful and disgusting as those I have killed. Even if I didn't witness their actual death, their screams as they were in their final moments ring through my head like an annoying song.
But, why, dad? If only you knew how much L has helped me discard this animal I have become, maybe you'd be more considerate of my feelings; my feelings for L.
I'm in love with a man. That can't be helped. But surely that can't be something to look down on. I mean, dad loves mom and I love L. What's the difference? We would both lay down our lives for the one's we hold so dear and close to our hearts. We're available to them at every whim. We would do anything for them. So why is it that it's so bad that I love L? Dad, you and I aren't so different.
"Alright, Light. Say good-bye and then we'll be on our way." Said my father as he shut the trunk of the car shut, carrying my belonging inside. I sighed and my hands trembled. No, I can't do this. Saying 'good-bye' to L is by far the hardest thing I have ever done. No, please don't make me do this! Please! I'll give up as Kira, I'll go to jail, I'd even die at my own cost, just as long as I get to stay with my angel.
But, as I got closer to L, I thought that maybe this was for the best. He won't be near me when I finally relinquish my right as Kira, protecting my true form from my beloved. Yes, I just need to do this as quickly as possible. L cannot find out about my identity. Never. I will take this to the grave.
L looked up at me, his obsidian eyes stained with tears. I held him closer to me and kissed his head. I really didn't mind the glares I gained from dad or the others. This was our moment.
I placed my finger under his chin and brought it closer to my face until our lips touched in a tender kiss. But this kiss felt bitter. This kiss felt wrong. No, I'm the one who's wrong. I need him! How the fuck could I go on living a lie?
I grabbed L by the shoulders once our kiss finshed. L looked at me, his face stricken in confusion.
"Is something wrong, Light-kun?" he said, softly. That voice, so calm and sincere. No, I can't tell him. Not now. I have time.
I sighed and smiled at L.
"I love you, L. Don't forget about me. I'll resolve this problem. I promise." I grabbed his hand and brought it to my lips.
"Do you best, Ryuuzaki. Make me proud." I said. L smiled and nodded.
" I will, Light-kun. Don't forget me."
"Never." I simply said. My dad honked impatiently.
"Come on, Light! We'll be late for dinner!" exclaimed my father. I quickly kissed L and hopped into the opened car.
I kept my eyes fixated on L, even when my dad turned on the car and we slowly sped off.
"I'll text you! I'll call you! I'll do everything I can to keep in touch until this whole ordeal is resolved! I'll see you soon, L! I promise!" I screamed. L kept running after my car, his hand outstretched and his face covered in silent tears. I reached for him, but alas, we were too far apart.
"We will meet again very soon, Light! I'll catch Kira and do my best! I'll make a better world for us both!" he said and he stopped running, waving instead. I smiled and blew a kiss at his direction. Then I sunk into my chair, running a shaky hand through my silky hair.
'Make a better for us both'? But I'm the one who's making it worse.
I sighed and looked out my window, gazing at the dark sky. I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth. 'Fuck you, Kira' is what I cursed in my mind.
"Light! There's my baby! You look so thin! Have you been eating properly? Was everyone treating you nicely?" my mother rambled on and on about my stay at Headquarters. I just nodded at everything. I was in no mood to talk.
"Hey, mom, I'm pretty tired. I mean, it's been quite a day, you know?" I said, scratching the back of my head and trying to look as genuine as possible. She bought it.
"Of course, dear. Why don't you go up stairs and get ready for bed. We can talk about all your adventures tomorrow." She said as she placed a kiss on my cheek and went to talk to my father.
I ran up the stairs and shut the door to my room.
"Hey, Light's back!" yelled out a familiar voice. Ryuuk. I smirked and tossed him an apple I managed to sneak out from the kitchen.
"So, how's the boyfriend?" said Ryuuk as he nibbled on the apple. I sighed and looked away, sitting on the edge of my bed. He chuckled.
"Well, you'd have to find a way to convince your parent's to be okay with you being all gay and stuff. I mean, you don't have much time before you know who comes and gets you." Said Ryuuk, laughing right afterwards like a maniac.
I stood up and walked over to the mirror, disgusted at my reflection.
"Hey, Light. It's been awhile." Said Kira, his gleaming red eyes piercing into me like a sharp knife.
"Wh-what's the meaning of this! Weren't you inside of me?" I exclaimed, getting closer to the refection of the other me.
He laughed sinisterely and sighed.
"Oh, Light. You really are an idiot. Didn't old Ryuuk tell you? As the days pass and you continue to contemplate whether or not to continue as Kira, I become stronger. Do you remember the pain I was able to produce? Well, now I could do that from a distance." He smirked. "I think we need a demonstration."
Suddenly, my knees felt weak and I fell on the floor. My face suddenly was smashed against my wooden vanity multiple times, a loud 'crack' going emiting from my face. I was suddenly lifted from my collar, but no one was there! How? How could this be possible?
The menacing laugh rang through my ears and I was finally set down.
"We'll leave the rest for tomorrow, my dear Light. Go and wipe your face. The blood really clashes with your beauty. But, even so, I'd take you." He said, mockingly. He laughed once more and his face was gone, replaced with the reflection of me and my bloody nose.
"How can you let him do this to me? Don't you have any say in this?" I yelled at Ryuuk.
Ryuuk just broke out in laughter. I sighed and cursed.
But as I was going to call it a night, I heard a familiar ringtone going off. My face suddenly got hot and I didn't care about my bloody nose. I leapt onto my bed and grabbed the tiny device with my shaky hands.
I flipped open the phone and put receiver to my ear.
"Hello, Light." greeted me the most beautiful voice in the world. I smiled and forgot about the blood that kept cascading down my ivory face.
"Hello, Ryuuzaki." I said.
We spoke for what seemed like a little while but was actually the whole night. Even when we had nothing to say, we didn't mind. I ended up falling asleep to his voice.
"Goodnight, my prince." He said softly.
But as fast as the phone line went dead, a voice sounding like my own whispered:
"You are mine, Yagami. Mine."
Author's Note: WHOOO! I'M FINALLY DONE WITH THIS CHAPTER! –dies-
God, I'm so so sorry it took so long. I've been dealing with a lot lately. I mean, I've been in and out of the hospital a couple times, my classes are getting harder, state-wide tests are drawing closer and I've been working on my cosplays.
But thanks to you, I've been given the strength to continue. Thanks! And don't worry, I'm working on chapter 11 as we speak and 'School Days' too.
Kira is becoming a main character in this story from this point on. Yay, he's not like Bakura from Yu-Gi-Oh! Heh, what do you guys think of Kira? Love him? Hate him? Would you do him? Wait, don't answer that. O_O;
See you in chapter 11, guys!