Pearls Before Swine is owned by Steven Pastis, and any other characters who might be mentioned in here are copyrighted by their respective companies.
About a month ago, I went on vacation in Florida, which means, of course, I visited Universal Studios/Islands of Adventure. I got the idea for this fic walking through the "Toon Lagoon" section of Islands of Adventure and remembering how much Rat hates the older funnies getting the success he feels should only belong to himself. I thought to myself "this is a great fanfiction idea" and eventually came up with this. Hope you enjoy!
Pearls Goes Universal
It was a typical day in the "Pearls" neighborhood, except for the fact that Pig had been gone for the past week. This didn't bother Rat that much, as it left him with more time to drink beer and plan new ways to scam his idiot neighbors.
Currently, he was sitting at the kitchen table doing the former, when suddenly the door burst open, revealing Pig dressed in a "Universal Studios/Islands of Adventure" T-Shirt with matching hat. "I'M BACK!!!!" the simple-minded pig shouted out, startling Rat and causing him to fall off the chair onto the floor.
"Where have you been, you stupid pig?" Rat asked annoyed as he got up off the floor. "I was beginning to hope you wouldn't come back."
"You didn't remember?" a disappointed Pig asked. "We won a free trip to Florida in the mail a month ago and you told me that you didn't want to go."
"You mean that wasn't a scam?!?" Rat exclaimed dumbfounded. "I missed out on an all-expenses paid trip to see the babes in the Sunshine State!"
"Too bad for you," grinned Pig. "You missed out on going to all the fun theme parks with me like Universal's Islands of Adventure."
"You mean Universal Studios, you dumb pig," corrected Rat annoyed.
"No, in 1999, Universal Studios opened up a new theme park next door to it called Universal Islands of Adventure. It's kinda like Disney World's Magic Kingdom, but more colorful and fun!"
"So the park's split up into different areas," guessed Rat, figuring out the analogy. "What are these areas?"
"Well…" began Pig as he began listing the areas, "there's Marvel Superhero Island, Jurassic Park, Seuss Landing, the Lost Continent, the forthcoming Wizarding World of Harry Potter, and Toon Lagoon, which is a tribute to all the old-time comics on this page, like 'Blondie' and 'The Family Circus'."
"Were there any 'Pearls' characters there?" asked Rat.
"Um…no," admitted Pig nervously, knowing his friend's reaction to this sort of news all too well.
He wasn't disappointed. "WHAT?!?!" shouted Rat enraged. "I can't believe it! Once again the old comics get all the success and I'm left with squat! Well I'm not going to stand for this!"
"What are you going to do?" asked Pig.
"What am I going to do?" repeated Rat. "You'll see what I'm going to do…" he finished evilly with a little snicker.
"What are you doing, Rat?" asked Goat as he saw Rat and Pig leaving their house with packed bags.
"I'm heading to the Universal Resort to complain about the Toon Lagoon section of Universal Islands of Adventure," explained the rodent as he began hailing a cab. "Those idiots don't have any 'Pearls Before Swine' characters in there, which means that the people are deprived of getting to see yours truly whenever they go there."
"Rat, Toon Lagoon is dedicated to the older comics in this section," Goat explained to his friend, "and you've done nothing but criticize the older comics ever since this comic first got published."
"Please don't challenge me on this," growled Rat as a cab finally pulled up in front of him and Pig. "The people on vacation in Florida deserve to see a true comics superstar when they go to the theme parks, and I intend to give it to them!"
"But what about the cat burglar who's been terrorizing the neighborhood for the past months?" asked Goat. "Aren't you worried about leaving your house unprotected?"
"Don't worry, Goat," replied Pig as he loaded Rat's last bag into the trunk of the cab. "I've left my Guard Duck in charge of the house while we're away. I think he'll be able to handle keeping our house safe from any beef patties made from cats." Before Goat could correct him, Pig entered the cab after Rat as the cab driver took off from the house, leaving Goat all alone in front of the house.
"I wonder how long Universal Resort's going to last with those two there," he wondered to himself as he left to find out what Zebra was doing.
Next time: Nearly every joke Pearls Before Swine has done involving an airplane comes back to bite Rat in the butt, and the Guard Duck subplot begins.