By Miss P
Summary: She thought that kissing me would bring us closer, that physical contact was the only option, when all she really wanted was a friend. Rosalie/Alice
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Twilight characters.
Written in Alice's point of view.
I looked up from my book as I heard Rosalie enter the room. She sat down next to me in the sofa.
"Feels strange to be just us doesn't it?" I asked, grinning up at her. She nodded thoughtfully, but remained silent.
The boys were gone for the weekend on an extended hunting trip, and Carlisle and Esme were on a vacation at Isle Esme. I couldn't remember the last time I had been alone with Rose. It did feel strange. Everything was too quiet. There seemed to be some kind of tension in the air. I saw Rosalie glance at me and I turned my head to her, cocking an eyebrow.
Rosalie shook her head. "Nothing, really..." she mumbled.
I was confused. She was acting strange, or was she? Maybe I hadn't bothered to look close enough before.
I put the book away, turning to face her. There had to be something wrong, or else why would she look so... I couldn't find the right world for it. But I was sure there was something she was holding back, something she wished to talk about.
"What's wrong Rose?"
I could see her tense as she was looking, no… staring at me. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
Rosalie lowered her gaze, and it actually looked like she was embarrassed. Or was I mistaken?
"Alice..." before I had time to understand what was happening, I felt Rosalie's lips against mine. It wasn't a normal kiss. Her lips barely touched mine, but it was enough to send a shill down my spine. I gasped. When she pulled back, she looked just as chocked as I must have looked.
"Wh...why..." my voice trailed off. I had suddenly lost the ability to form a normal sentence.
"I'm sorry," Rosalie gasped. She moved away from me, sitting at the end of the sofa trying to create as much space as possible between us.
"What did you do that for?" I finally managed to get out.
"I don't know."
"You don't know?"
Rosalie shook her head.
"You must have had a reason to kiss me Rose," I demanded.
"I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that... I'm..." she cut herself off, looking down at her hands. I stared at her. Rosalie was never embarrassed or insecure. What was going on?
It couldn't be...
Without thinking of what I was doing, I scooted closer to Rose. I could feel her eyes on me the whole time.
I didn't stop to let her speak. Without warning, I pressed my lips against hers. I was shocked how soft they were. And when she kissed back I was even more shocked. My first thought was to pull away, but something stopped me. There was something in her action that made me think she needed this. Me.
I could feel her arms around my neck. One of her hands was in my hair. Something inside of me was screaming at me to get away. But another part of me enjoyed the feeling of her full lips against mine.
"Rose, wait!" I breathed. "What's going on?" I needed to know before things would go too far. "Wh.. what are we doing?"
"Don't talk," Rosalie breathed. I felt her hand grasping my hair. Her lovely face was still just inches away from mine.
Her beauty dazzled me, and I almost gave in, doing what she wanted. But somehow I managed to stay in control. To be rational. This was my sister. And we were both happily married. This was so wrong, why didn't she see that?
"Rose," I began. "I need to know," I said stressing each word. "Why?"
Rosalie pulled away, and that guilty look was back on her face as she was glancing at me. Suddenly she got up on her feet, attempting to leave. My voice stopped her. I was by her side in a flash, my small hand on her arm.
"Why won't you tell me? I won't get mad," I said softly.
She laughed bitterly, but nodded a bit hesitatingly as she walked to sit on the sofa again. Sighing, she pulled her legs up, wrapping her arms around her knees.
I sat next to her, touching her arm as I was waiting for her to say something. When she didn't, I realized it wouldn't be that simple.
"Why did you kiss me Rose?" I asked in a soft voice.
She sighed, but remained motionless as she began talking.
"It's silly really," she mumbled. "I just... thought I needed... that you and I being alone now was more than just the boys wanting some male-time, that maybe we..." her voice trailed off and I stared, not able to understand a word of what she was saying.
She seemed to realize my confusion. "This emptiness inside... I just wanted it to go away," she whispered and now I could catch up. I gestured for her to go on.
"I thought that maybe you could fill that empty space," she admitted. My eyes grew wide.
"Why me?" I breathed.
"Because we're alone here... I tried to tell myself that maybe it was meant to be. I prayed it would be true."
"But... Emmett?" I almost choked out.
Rosalie looked down at her hands, and it took a long time before she spoke.
"I do love Emmett. But I don't understand... why do I feel so empty when I... Why isn't he enough?" she whispered painfully.
"I don't understand... do you... like women?"
"Alice... it's not like that."
I still didn't understand.
"Then what is it?"
Rosalie just shook her head. "Forget it Alice, I was wrong there is nothing you could do."
"About what?" I was frustrated. Why couldn't she just say it out straight? I had to take a wild guess. "Are you attracted to me? Is that what it is about? Sex? You wanna do it with a girl too? Is it there Emmett's not enough?"
If she could blush, I was sure that her face would be bright red by now.
"No he… he's more than enough," she mumbled, and I had to smile. Of course he was. "It's not about sex," she added.
I nodded. Then what? Intimacy, she'd said. It suddenly hit me. At lease I thought so. I stared at my sister. I should have realized. She thought that kissing me would bring us closer, it was the only way she knew of. She'd though physical contact was the only option, when all she really wanted was a friend.
"Rose," I whispered. "Maybe I can fix that emptiness of yours," I smiled as she stared at me with a shocked expression on her face.
"I don't want to have sex with you Alice."
I laughed. "I know that!" I swiftly moved closer to her. I rested my head on her shoulder, putting my hands over hers. "There are better ways to be close, and maybe there is more behind us being alone now than a boys night out."
"What are you talking about?"
"You and me," I said simply.
She suddenly seemed to understand.
"I know we've never been close, and we don't always get along, but if that's what you want from me, a true friend, of course I'm there for you, I do love you like a sister."
Rosalie finally turned her head to look at me. I could see the hope in her sad eyes. Relief, but also uncertainty was clear on her beautiful face as she was trying to read my own face to see if I was really telling the truth.
"It's what's been missing all the time, the boys have each other, you have Bella, or Esme to turn to, I've always been... forgotten," she whispered. "I don't even know what it's like to have a friend... not for real. Not since Vera."
"Oh sweetie," I pulled her into a hug. "It's not true, we all love you."
She shook her head and I suddenly realized that maybe she was right. But I'd always thought she wanted to keep a distance. How could I have been so wrong?
"Why didn't you say anything sooner?"
"I didn't think anyone would want to be my friend, I'm not that easy to be around," she muttered.
"Oh I think I'll manage just fine Rose."
Rosalie smiled, and I was shocked to realize that I'd never seen her smile at me before.
"And I promise, no more kissing," she smiled and I laughed. Then my face turned serious. "It wasn't that bad actually. Emmett is one lucky man."
Rosalie chuckled. "And so is Jasper."