Disclaimer: I obviously don't own anything even slightly related to The Chronicles of Ancient Darkness. An author writing a parody of his own books is like making fun of himself.

This is a story I thought up a while ago. The description sums it up.

Torak was very happy when he woke up. He felt like

going to see Wolf. "Hey Renn,"

Ren: What is it now Torak?

Torak: Want to go visit Wolf?

Renn shrugs indifferently. "

Renn: I've got nothing better to do. Just don't embarrass me.

So they went to find Wolf.

Torak: Hey Renn, where do you think he is anyway?

Renn: Umm, Torak... I think he and his mate set up a den on the other side of the river."

Torak: What makes you think that?

Renn: Umm... Torak they're right over there. Look, he's been barking at you for the past half-hour."

Torak: Aye, Raven Clan is known for being clever.


Torak: Hey Wolf were are the cubs?

Wolf: Oh hi Torak, yeah, I dropped them in the deep river, they needed to learn how to swim.

Wolf's Mate: You idiot, there only cubs!!! They'll drown!!!

Wolf: Oops. Well I guess we need more cubs.

Wolf's Mate: Oh no you don't find the ones you lost.

Wolf: Ah you never let me have any new stuff.


Cub 1: What the hell did dad do!?! Now we're lost, cold wet and we survived because dad stupid enough to drop us on a freaking rock!!!

Cub 4: Why is the author skipping to cub four? I mean it's not like we have names of anything, he could just have called me cub two, who would have known. Another thing why didn't our parents name us.

Cub 2: They did. They called us cub one cub two cub three and cub four. At least that's what dad called us.

Cub 3: Shut back there I hear cubs.

Cub 1: Of course you hear cubs, there are four cubs right here.

Cub 3: No idiot, I mean other cubs.

Cub 26: Hey there. How did you get here.

We were dumped here by our idiot dad who said we had to lean how to swim.

Cub 3: Wait, was your dad named Wolf by some human who didn't realize how awkward it would be talking to other wolves?

Cub 26: Yes.

Cub 3: And did your father, named Wolf, follow a human named Torak on his pointless and stupid adventures that nobody gained anything from?

Cub 26: Yes...

Cub 3: I think... we're siblings.

Cub 26: I know.

Cub 2: So ummm, how many cubs did dad have exactly?

Cub 26: As far as I know, only four hundred.

Cub 2: Four hun- and he dropped them all in the deep river?

Cub 26: Nooo... he threw a couple over a cliff saying they had to learn how to fly.

Cub 1: He really was and idiot wasn't he?

Every other cub: Yes.


Wolf: Torak I need you to find my cubs.

Torak: No way do it yourself.

Wolf: Torak remember the time I was trapped in that cave, and you saved me and nearly died to help me? Well you owe me for that.

Torak: Ummmmm. Wolf not really. I think you owe me for that. But I'll do it anyway.